Moved back home: Dad issues

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by Verdant Greenweenie, Oct 11, 2009.

  1. Verdant Greenweenie

    Verdant Greenweenie New Member

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    With the current economic disaster I have taken a leave from school and moved back home to save up some more money. My dad is single and had raised me alone for many years until I went off the school. We've talked about sex and stuff before: jacking off, safe sex, erections, size, etc., but I don't know how to approach this topic. We're both men and I would feel more comfortable walking to and from the shower in the morning with a hard on or naked on the way back, instead of worrying about getting dressed just to walk to the bathroom. I also get hard a lot and am pretty much fed up with hiding erections, especially since I wear mostly shorts with boxers underneath. Finally, I don't have a lock on my bedroom door and am extremely horny. At 18 years old I'd like to be able to beat my meat without having to worry about dad walking in on me. Any advise would be great!
     
  2. Pendlum

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    I don't even have a door. You're dad probably already knows to knock, and if he doesn't remind him to. As for showers, wear a towel to and from, it's not like it is a hassle. Now, I don' the layout of your house, but my shower is very close to my room, so all these are pretty much a non issue with me.
     
  3. Florida Boy

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    It sounds like you may be imagining some of these issues, if they have not come up before. It is always wise to be somewhat discrete. You are probably cramping his lifestyle as well.
     
  4. matt121matt121

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    I agree no need to get fully dressed, a towel is good enough...

    And about the door...do you have a locking door knob?...if so just use that, or if not maybe either just buy one and switch or ask your dad if you can have one...

    I tried the whole knocking thing at my house but they would never seem to take the hint that if the door is closed they should knock, or they would knock and not wait for a response...so then I just got so I would lock it when I needed alone time...

    or if you cant change the whole knob, maybe just get one of those privacy latches like they have in hotels so the door is only able to open like 3 inches, so they can't see in, or bust all the way in...

    It just always takes time for everyone to adjust to a new living situation, and especially when were older and our parents don't realize that we are adults and try to teach us like were kids...
     
  5. D_Carroll Condomripper

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    Is your dad a man? Ok. He knows you j/o.
     
  6. Verdant Greenweenie

    Verdant Greenweenie New Member

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    I've asked him to knock, but he'll knock like once or twice and then just walk in. My room in pretty close to the bathroom, but I have to walk past the living room. Is it okay to walk to the bathroom with wood in the morning?
     
  7. greengrass_89

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    I'm sure your dad is more understanding than you're giving him credit. I've seen my dad naked, he's seen me naked, we're both guys, we're family, no biggie. Modesty is a good policy though. I agree with that other guy, wear a towel if you're worried about it. If you get a hard on, just point it up or to the side so it's less obnoxious, and go on about your business. And just talk to your dad about the jacking off issue. Just let him know and work out a system together so he knows whats going on. I'm sure he jacks off too, so he'll understand the "alone time" thing ;) That's my 2 cents.
     
  8. D_Chaumbrelayne_Copprehead

    D_Chaumbrelayne_Copprehead Account Disabled

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    If you just do it a few days in a row, you won't ever have to think about it again.
     
  9. D_Rawkesbye Deadheade

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    As some of the guys said above, just wrap a towel around yourself. You're going to need it after the shower anyway so there's no hassle there.
     
  10. B_azimo

    B_azimo New Member

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    im pretty sure your dad knows you jack off cuz im pretty sure he dose too
     
  11. FuzzyKen

    FuzzyKen New Member

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    Dear Boner Boy,
    At age 18, you are most likely not even finished with puberty yet. Constant erections go with the territory and that will probably not start to die down until your mid 20's.

    You openly declare yourself as a gay male here. Is your Father completely aware of your orientation?

    You are an adult moving back home for economic reasons and trying to re-group to avoid losing your educational opportunity completely. I admire you for using good common sense and not going into debt with student loans that can be the next thing to loan sharking.

    I had a somewhat similar experience myself in that as an adult with the shoe on the other foot parents towards the ends of their lives re-joined me.

    The first thing is that you need not be ashamed of who you are nor should you be in any manner ashamed or offended if he walks in when you're jacking off. My elderly Mother walked in on me more than once. By not even interrupting what I was doing was how I stopped the privacy invasions. If you stop being yourself or deny a need when you have gone into your bedroom and closed the door for a little privacy, it is not you who are in the wrong. If the guy wants to watch you jack off and get a little sexual relief, that is his thing and it does not make you wrong. You are not an invader, you are his son and he needs to respect things.

    What are you going to do my friend if you find some guy you absolutely are so turned on by that you can't stand it. Are you going to deny yourself some good common sense fun and are you going to try and hide it.

    My feeling here is that honesty is the absolute best policy when it comes to aspects of human sexuality. The same is true for your Dad. If he is single and want's to bring home a sex partner should he have to hide anything from you?

    You need to be open with him just as he needs to be open with you. You living under a roof he owns should not be a restriction on freedom for either one of you. Sex and the enjoyment of it is part of life and both of you should share in your freedom and be able to joke about it.

    When my partner and I took in our Nephew at age 18 we opened the door for him on that issue. On numerous occasions we were aware of spying outside our bedroom door at what we were doing sexually. He knew the truth when he moved in. I have only insisted that we have equal rules on both sides and that he never be ashamed of anything involving sexuality or reproduction. Masturbation is in this house a non-issue. He has walked in on both of us doing it, and when we needed an answer on some question we have done the same. It only has value or is an issue if you allow it to be made into one. If he finds a sex partner and is doing anything other than his hand or fleshlight he would have total privacy simply because distractions kill sex.

    Just talk to your Dad and tell him basically the jist of what you said in your initial message.

    You may find that your Dad is actually put at ease if you open the door for him while at the same time insisting on the same rights.

    Erections and those kind of issues are to me non-issues. If he sees you erect, so what? Why does that matter? It is an organ used for some pleasure and reproductive purposes. Be your best self and be the best man you can be and the rest will take care of itself.
     
  12. sab84

    sab84 Member

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    Towel when outta shower....
    Boxer over morning boner (considering you walk through the living room... and you don't want a habit.. which surprises those occasional guests)....
    Sock on the door of your bedroom...
    Also... if you let your dad walk in on you while jacking once... I'm pretty sur he will learn to knock and wait for answer... :D
     
  13. D_Whitcomb Whistlereed

    D_Whitcomb Whistlereed Account Disabled

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    I don't know your dad, so I don't know what's he comfortable with, but I'd say it's not such a big deal to walk to the bathroom naked, but if you have a boner, you should cover it up. Your dad probably doesn't want to see you walking around with a boner.
     
  14. Viking_UK

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    I'd go for the towel or robe in the morning and if you need privacy in your room, a bolt or hasp is pretty cheap and easy to fit. Failing that, you could have a talk with your dad and tell him that when your door's closed, it's closed for a reason and you'd rather he didn't come in without asking.
     
  15. Joseph

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    I don't get erections often, I learned not to. It's risky, nobody knocks to my door, all barge in whenever they want, when in the bathroom I'm sometimes asked to get out cause I'm taking too much time. The only solution I can come up with is moving out, which I hope to soon
     
  16. SteveT

    SteveT Active Member

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    If it's your dad's house, he should be able to go wherever he likes. The only limit would be usual social conventions. That would include, surely, not just going straight into your room without knocking first.
    I agree about putting a towel on before leaving the room. Walking around completely naked is a bit unusual in the context of shared accommodation (unless sharing with a partner). Does he walk around naked? If not (and even if he does!), no real reason why you should!
     
  17. Scroggyou

    Scroggyou Member

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    Its his place when you get your own place you and walk around naked and jack of all you want
     
  18. jeff black

    jeff black <img border="0" src="/images/badges/gold_member.gi

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    I've got a crazy idea.

    Get over it.

    Wait for the erection to subside, throw a towel on. Your dad has no interest in seeing you walk around. Just because you are men doesn't mean you have to walk around naked.

    If you want to get naked and run around, you're gonna have to wait until you can move out adn get your own place.

    As for the masturbation issue, I suggest you speak to him. Ask him to continue knocking on the door and wait for a response.
     
  19. B_eleveinchbreeder

    B_eleveinchbreeder New Member

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    i can't imagine my dad making a comment on my erections if i were to walk out of the shower to my bedroom at his place. tho, my parents home is a bit different from what ur describing.
    if he objects to your walking around with an erection, IT IS HIS HOME HIS RULES RULE. if he doesn't say anything, he either doesn't care or doesn't see you in the raw.
    if this doesn't work for you, join a gym, shower there and all your stuff is taken care of. guys at a gym are use to seeing guys in towels, and with out towels.
    its worthy to note at a gym, the guys who don't wrap towels around them after a shower, are the same guys that SHOULD be wrapping a towel around their waist.
     
  20. drac

    drac New Member

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    I agree with Scroggyou, it's your dads house, and being that you moved home because of financial struggles you probably arent paying rent or even bills, or if you are probably not what you should be. Keep in mind maybe your dad got used to walking around HIS house naked when you werent around, and maybe he got used to wackin it to porn in his living room when you werent there, and havin the ladies over for romp a room fun. But now he has changed all that to let his son move back in with him. Sounds to me like you are a little spoiled and self centered, have you thought about how you may be putting your dad out. Just cause he doesnt mention it doesnt mean you arent.
    So if you really wanna bitch about what you cant do in your a house you dont own, then approach the owner, your dad, discuss it with him like a man. If he has issues with it, respect them and shut the fuck up and move out as soon as possible. I am sure he likes his free dong freedom just as much as you.
     
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