Moved back home: Dad issues

[Stephenmass]

Simple solution as someone said above for walking to and from the bathroom. A towel is OK, a robe is even better to hide your erection if it embarasses you. My guess is it bothers you a helluva lot more than him.

As for the bedroom door, I would get one of those latches that lock from the inside. Or ask him politely to knock and wait for your response before he enters your room. He's a guy, he's been where you are and he knows that you wank occasionally.

Trust me.

 

[D_Ari_Olla]

I think a few people here are being a little judgmental, the OP is just 18 and made a very adult decision to return home from college. I had to move back in with my parents not long ago and went through some of the very same things, except my issues were my own, not my dad's. He is ex-military, you could walk through my house butt ass naked and no one would bat an eye at it. Look at it this way, my dad once told me that he doesn't really "see" the fact I am naked, Im just his son without so many clothes on at that moment. I think there are some dads out there that are uptight, but I think most don't really give a shit if they their son's penis. I mean, they DID help make it. If it bothers you or him, wear a towel as others have suggested. If not, don't worry about it, I doubt it's the first one he has seen.

As for the jerking off ... buy a locking door knob, theyre like 15 bucks max. If you dad questions it, just be up front about it. Guys jerk off, hes been there, he'll understand.

Sometimes I dont think we give our dad's enough credit when it comes to basic stuff like this.

 

[piratebulldog]

This whole thread seems to be some sort of fantasy. An eighteen year old is not 'returning home due to economic downturns'. He just LEFT home. Things couldn't have changed that much. He was raised by his dad and he is now back at his dad's house after what? A few months? So what would be so dramatically different after such a short time? All the guys in here gave great input and were very sincere...but this one belongs in another category.

 

[molotovmuffin]

locked doors mean knock..... get a lock and be done with it....

that said... my 19yr old son and i rent two bedrooms in a private home... we have one end she has the other. he and i share my bathroom which means he has to come in with his morning wood to pee...and he wears boxers.. not a big deal. mom doesnt say anything and hes not embarrassed.

 

[Verdant Greenweenie]

Thanks to everyone who actually posted helpful suggestions. To the people who were judgmental and thought these issues are in my head, well I guess that's your problem and not mine. Although I did grow up living with my dad, things have changed in the time that I was away from home. I graduated from High School right after I turned 17, spent a year on my own, came out of the closet, and became more comfortable in my own skin. I am going to talk with my dad about jerking off and not worry about whether or not he sees me walking to and from the bathroom to shower (no matter hard, soft, boxers, or nude). We're both guys and have seen each others junk before, so I'm just gonna be myself.

 

[ThePipe]

um.....this post is wierd, he's 18 and he's moving back in and you became so used to your freedom after how many months away? If you want to walk around like that and you dont have a problem...give it a try! Let us know how it goes for ya....dad might only have a problem if your dick is bigger than his and he feels embarassed!

 

[latinluva]

Whatever you are...your Dad was too at 18.

 

[drac]

Well hope all goes well. I got a question though, since you are out of the closet and obviously your pops knows, do you think your pop has been with men? If so i would imagine he would be very comfortable with your situation.

 

[Verdant Greenweenie]

Well hope all goes well. I got a question though, since you are out of the closet and obviously your pops knows, do you think your pop has been with men? If so i would imagine he would be very comfortable with your situation.

Um, that's an odd question. Pretty sure he is 100% straight as an arrow.

 

[ColonialBoy]

If both or either feel "uptight" with the naked issue, ask him to go to the gym or pool. You'll both have to change clothes and this will help break down some barriers.

 

[nakedone]

My two sons lived with me one summer after my second divorce, after they were "adults" and on their way to college and the navy. Since they had seen me naked when they were younger, I didn't alter my lifestyle, and was naked before and after baths and other times.

They soon adopted my standard and would walk through the house naked too. And, yes, in the mornings there would be an occasional hard-on, which we all treated as something "natural". This particular time of our lives helped to re-confirm the bond which we had built earlier of being naked together without guilt or embarrassment.

I believe that until fathers and sons learn to be comfortably naked together, they have not fully established trust and complete confidence.

 

[stlbigman]

First off, sorry you have to move back home with dad but the economy sucks--thank you to those who couldn't afford to pay your mortgages you screwed up the economy for the rest of us who play by the rules and paid our bills. Sorry, tangent there.
Anyway, just find a time you can sit down with dad and ask him about sex. It's something your pop should have had with you years ago but better late than never. About the lock thing, good luck trying to get a lock put on your door. Seeing how teenagers are usually up to no good, I don't see bio-dad approving that but you never know.
Lastly, PLEASE don't take too long of a time between school if you can. Trust me on this one. The longer you wait between times in college, the harder it is to graduate. Good luck in getting your degree.

 

[portlad]

PLEASE don't take too long of a time between school if you can. Trust me on this one. The longer you wait between times in college, the harder it is to graduate. Good luck in getting your degree.

Ditto that.

And boner_boy, I've read this whole thread, saw your recent reply, and realize that so much of it depends on your prior relationship and what the family was like beforehand -- around the expectations of privacy especially. It's an option to just say "Sometimes, dad, when my door's closed, I really want that privacy." Maybe adding a wink or two, or just leaving it at that.

And, not knowing the level of frankness you've had previously, you could just ask "If I'm just running to the john in the morning, and it's just us guys, do you mind if I'm just naked?" Maybe adding, "I'm comfortable with that, are you?" And if you happen to have a woody, and he sees it, well, that's life. Do your schedules really match up so that he'd be around anyway?

Lots of folks have spent the time to give their input. Let us know how it works out.

 

[B_thickjohnny]

My two sons lived with me one summer after my second divorce, after they were "adults" and on their way to college and the navy. Since they had seen me naked when they were younger, I didn't alter my lifestyle, and was naked before and after baths and other times.

They soon adopted my standard and would walk through the house naked too. And, yes, in the mornings there would be an occasional hard-on, which we all treated as something "natural". This particular time of our lives helped to re-confirm the bond which we had built earlier of being naked together without guilt or embarrassment.

I believe that until fathers and sons learn to be comfortably naked together, they have not fully established trust and complete confidence.

Exactly! I think this hits the nail on the head. Fathers and son should be comfortable with one another that being naked or sporting wood in the morning is no big deal to either.

 

[average7inch]

Low tech answer for situations where closed door isn't automatically respected: leave your shoes strategically located just inside the closed door. If you only have dress shoes and hardwood floors, you might need to invest in some flip-flops or cheap sneakers, but most shoes will do the trick on most floor surfaces.

In the event of a true emergency, a forceful shove will still open the door, but for the casually clueless it provides a sufficient impediment short of going to the overly obvious point of installing a lock.

 

[D_Doe_Ray_Mi]

"You need to be open with him just as he needs to be open with you. You living under a roof he owns should not be a restriction on freedom for either one of you. Sex and the enjoyment of it is part of life and both of you should share in your freedom and be able to joke about it.
. . .
Just talk to your Dad and tell him basically the jist of what you said in your initial message.

You may find that your Dad is actually put at ease if you open the door for him while at the same time insisting on the same rights.

Erections and those kind of issues are to me non-issues. If he sees you erect, so what? Why does that matter? It is an organ used for some pleasure and reproductive purposes. Be your best self and be the best man you can be and the rest will take care of itself." FuzzyKen
I agree with the above. Be real, be yourself and talk to your dad. Give him the opportunity to know you, his son. This openness and conversation could be a healing and transformational experience in your relationship with dad. Good luck, you can do it!

 

[ruggerkit28]

you are 18, you are a big boy now (maybe in more than one respect <g>). wear a towel going to the bathroom for a shower, maybe, when it is wet, walk back to your room with it slung over your shaoulder (as i do in common showers at sports clubs).

As for the locking bedroom door, so what. your dad must know you are having wanks. if he walks in once while you are at it, he won't do it again.

what about entertaining a boy/girl friend overnight. i am quite sure your dad will want to have his girlfriend stay occasionally. he can't really grumble if you do.

 

[Pendlum]

you are 18, you are a big boy now (maybe in more than one respect <g>). wear a towel going to the bathroom for a shower, maybe, when it is wet, walk back to your room with it slung over your shaoulder (as i do in common showers at sports clubs).

What.. This makes no sense to me. Why would you have the towel slung over your shoulder? It's a fucking towel, YOU USE IT TO DRY YOURSELF OFF WHEN YOU ARE WET. Not wear it as a fashion statement like scarf. There is no way it is going to be sopping wet from just drying you off. I was always under the impression that most people wrap the towel around their waste after the initial dry off, so that you are not cold, and so your hands are free, so you can shave or brush your teeth. It also conveniently catches water dripping down you so you don't soak the floor.

 

[whatsup123456]

he understands