Moving! How do I make new friends etc?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by actioncfc, Aug 22, 2009.

  1. actioncfc

    actioncfc Active Member

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    Looks like I might be moving to save my job. This will be the 1st time since college I will be away from the area I grew up in. The friends I have I have had for many years, some from grade school. I am not a bar type person and work a lot of times until 9 at night. Any suggestions how to make friends, find a date, jack off buddy or even a cool roomate? I have no idea where I may be transferred to. Maybe 2 hours away or may be 2 tome zones away. I am nervous around people when I that this is the type of people I would like to be a friend with. Guess it is a fear of rejection. I pick my friends well though and many have been in my circle of friends for over 10 years. No I need to break into another persons circle of friends and that stresses me out! Any suggestions??
     
  2. Dave NoCal

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    Finding organized activities around shared interests can be a start. When I moved shortly after finishing college I got involved in community theatre. It did not result in any deep or long friendhips but it got me doing things with poeple, going to parties, recognizing people in the grocery store...
    Dave
     
  3. nudeyorker

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    Real friendship takes some time...but I would start with looking at the things in your life outside work that interest you. I don't know what yours are but I have met people at...the gym, cooking classes, the museum. One of my oldest friends I met on a flight from LA to NY. I don't tend to become over friendly with people that I work with but sometimes you can make an exception. One of my best friends is someone I used to work with.
    It sounds like you work difficult hours at times, but I would suggest if not only for your sanity; you reserve some time each week for an activity that you enjoy and you will likely meet some people who at least have a common interest. Good Luck with the move I hope it's a city you will enjoy.
     
  4. Water dragon

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    I had the same problem and lost contact with my friends fast after school so I decided to catch up on reading during my free time and went to the library and noticed a local bulletin board and( I know there may be not much choice but) I signed up for a local circus club which I found to my interest as I always liked to try odd sports. Anyway when I got there it was the usual nervous first time lesson but once I was there a couple of weeks I got to know people pretty well and surprising enough that's how I met my current girl friend and a few mates just by stretching and doing something we both liked together.

    I hope my story can help. Try to find another activity you are the smallest interested in that includes a group of people in local newspapers and bulletin boards; maybe not a circus but a small university or TAFE course or gym class.
    If you don't like the class move on and try another, you get a lot of experience meeting and new interactions and don't forget to be happy and not to be shy because they are as new to you as you are to them so a good cheery mood is always good stops future odd quiet moments and opens a relaxed world anyway I hope I told you something you useful instead of just ranting to the infinite space and good luck fellow LPSG friend! :tongue:
     
  5. Symphonic

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    In general being personable tends to allow these things to work themselves out. If you are around the same people for more than an hour a day consistently and get along bonds will begin to grow, and those bonds will extend further, etc.

    Essentially: Just live. The only thing that makes moving worse is focusing on the idea that you will be an outcast, which in turn makes you an outcast by self-fulfilling prophecy.
     
  6. tzachj

    tzachj New Member

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    If you come to Alaska i sure can be your friend... Try go out to clubs first them maybe you'll find some friends. That's what I'd do when move to different city that's not mine. I don't know how city life goes, but good luck in whatever your doing... hope you find what your looking for and stand tall heads up and smile if you want to.
     
  7. actioncfc

    actioncfc Active Member

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    Thank you all for the replies and suggestions! I am not planning on being an outcast, but I know my own limits and would like be proactive in finding firends etc. The library bulliten board was a great suggestion. I ahve more morning free than nights so it harder to find things to do. I am going to make the best out of the situation and create a new home for me.

    I don't think I will be moving to Alaska, but thank you for the offer. I would like to visit though! Maybe in the summer
     
  8. SomeGuyOverThere

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    I actually spent a year living abroad and had to try and make friends too...

    The first thing I found is that generally co-workers are not your friends. They care about you while you're at work and usually have 0 interest in seeing you outside it - don't get me wrong I had a lot of co-worker buddies who i talked to a lot, but my contact with them began at 9am and ended at 6pm.

    What I did was actually post a craigslist add in "Strictly Platonic", and I made a few temporary friends that way... we didn't get on fantastically but it got me out of the house etc... There are a lot of lonely people out there, and a lot of people who want more friends, just posting an add saying "I need friends! this is what I'm like:" can get you a lot of responses. Though I found some of the responses misunderstood the word "platonic"...

    Another suggestion is join a group of some discription that interests you. There are plenty of hobby groups around, from model railways to kyaking, you just have to look for them. Atleast there you're guarunteed to find people with 1 shared interest!
     
    #8 SomeGuyOverThere, Aug 22, 2009
    Last edited: Aug 22, 2009
  9. sexplease

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  10. D_Jared Padalicki

    D_Jared Padalicki Account Disabled

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    Join a sportsclub
     
  11. Rubenesque

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    An evening class is a great way to meet new people. Choose a subject that really interests you and you've got a shared interest before you even walk through the door.
     
  12. Smartalk

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    A young neighbour of mine said that when he moved from 6th form college to university the one thing that helped him a lot was always having a smile on your face. When you think about it people are always attracted/drawn to someone who is smiling rather than someone who is looking miserable all the time. He soon made friends wherever he went.

    Good luck with the move and the new job
     
  13. Capitolhillguy

    Capitolhillguy Active Member

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    Craigslist Platonic Personals and Meetup Groups.
     
  14. actioncfc

    actioncfc Active Member

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    Thanks again for more suggestions. They all seem valid and thought out. You all have put me at ease.
     
  15. joeweekend

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    Chicago's got great intra-mural sports leagues for grow-ups. Great way to meet people. Chicago Sports & Social organizes them. I'm sure there are similar organizations where you're going.

    (Checked out your pics. Nice hairy ass like that, you ought to have no trouble making friends. Join a gym and be stingy with the towel in the locker room.)
     
  16. actioncfc

    actioncfc Active Member

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    Thanks Joe....I think!LOL

    Can U use your balls for a game or two?

     
  17. MrMXYZPTLK

    MrMXYZPTLK New Member

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    You'll make TONS of new friends. Just make sure you weed out the good ones and bad ones.
     
  18. the_kerryzzz

    the_kerryzzz New Member

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    Go to the gym to make friends. If there are any Italian men moving to Kansas City, I would like to meet or possibly hook up. Please hit me up.
     
  19. sab84

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    Thank to my father's job.. my family moved every 2 or 3 years... so I kinda got used to the whole thing or new place.. new people...
    The way I used to go about it... was to meet new people be friendly... and then within a few months yu will know whether they are worth it or not...
    Now that I have movd out and still move every couple of years... the things I learned are...
    -Just be friendly with your co-workers...when and if opputunity presents they can be good friends too...
    -You can sometimes make opptunity by planning a hiking/camping/boating trip together...
    -But still most of your co-workers are co-workers..esp if they are married or in serious relationships.. might never happen...
    -Find your hobbies.. and join a hobby class...pottery..cooking...fencing... whatever works for you... common interest can bring people close... but here you have to find thse which have more than this one thig common...
    -Since you dont go to bars/clubs... join a local group.. may it be expedition (weekend..i.e).. sports... pet rescue.. or something else...
    -Until you find some... might I suggest volunteer for local organizations... good place to make friends...
    -And ofcourse CL... platonic section.. Activities...classes... and god knows what all...
    -And if you have moved to NorCal... let me know.. :D
     
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