Moving in together

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by Sir wheelers, Dec 23, 2010.

  1. Sir wheelers

    Sir wheelers New Member

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    So when is it the right time to move in together ? How long would you want to be with someone before you moved in together or should you only move in together when you are married or going to be married ? Any opinions on this.

    Reason I am asking is because I may be moving in with my girlfriend soon. I have been helping her father decorate a flat for her which is going to be her christmas present. I think she will ask me to move in there with her she knows i want to leave home. I dont think shed want to live on her own with her being deaf and all so im pretty sure shell ask me and if i do move in with her does that mean that her dad will expect me to marry her or something ?
     
  2. Lampwick

    Lampwick New Member

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    Deaf people have been known to live alone just fine on their own, so let's separate that out.

    I know you want to leave home, but do you want to live with her? How do you feel about how that might complicate your relationship with your girlfriend? How long have you been together?

    Whether you should only live together when you are married or going to be married depends on a lot of things - your attitude, her attitude, the attitude of the people you know and of the society where you live in general.
     
  3. Sir wheelers

    Sir wheelers New Member

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    I know she can look after herself and is more then capable of living there on her own if she wanted to. I just dont think that she would want to shes had the money for a while now to move out if she wanted to and she has not so i can only assume that shes not wanted to move out.

    I think i could live with her ok I dont feel it would complicate our relationship were pretty close. As in being with her thats only happened recently we only really got together over the summer sometime back in June i have been dating her since and weve just took things slowly. Before we got together weve been close friends for about 2 years, I learned sign language for her and shes been trying to talk more to me.

    Ive not really thought about marrying her to be honest. I do love her alot though and I feel myself around her. As for the aspect of moving in with her Ive been brought up as a christian and I know my parents wouldnt like me moving in with a girl unless I was going to marry her and I kinda got that vibe aswell from her father. I think shed be ok with me staying there and id be cool with it the only problem would be like our families. I think though my dad thinks I am serious about her, Ive not really bought a girl home before or anything.
     
  4. helgaleena

    Gold Member

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    The one whose opinion matters most is hers. But you knew that.

    You are both still young and sensible, right? So keep using birth control, keep your finances separate, think of it as being two friends living together until that no longer fits.

    Friendship is the best way to start any endeavor with another adult, including her. You don't know what the future will hold for either of you yet. Either of you may meet someone else or have to move due to education or career.

    If you can manage to live together without anything going haywire, give it a year or two and THEN please your families, and yourselves, by taking it the next step. It's simply too soon for sensible marrying otherwise.
     
  5. Sir wheelers

    Sir wheelers New Member

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    helgaleena thanks for your input on this and yeah I think the idea of 2 friends living together is how it would be and would work out best for us. Although i think were both be staying put ive still got 2 years here at University and shes just finished and has a good job up in London.

    I was thinking of waiting until i feel the time is right to do anything like that Im not going to let anyone else tell me when that is. When we take the next step it will be when we are ready for it. We've been close for sometime now and all so were just see how we get on provided ofcourse that she wants me to live with her.
     
  6. Sir wheelers

    Sir wheelers New Member

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    Ok so i helped her move in and ive spent some time over there with her and now shes asked me if i want to stay with her, I told her that Id need some time to think about it. I want to but I dont think my parents will like it. I know shes asked me because she knows i dont like living at home righ now but I kinda feel like i dont want to pressure her and make her feel like she has to let me stay there.
     
  7. Charles Finn

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    when I moved to toledo to be with my friend Chaz to see if we would work out as lovers we were on the phone for 2 hours my bigest concern was i wanted us to remain friends above all
    we did and i am so glad
     
  8. Bbucko

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    If you're unclear about whether or not it's time to move in yet, it's not.
     
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