I think I told you all last year when my friend of 30 yrs died from that crazy cancer. I met her on a NY's Eve when I had just turned 18 and she was 30. Cut to years later and we're both living in NYC and directly across the hall from each other. After she died I was so freaked out about walking into the hallway b/c it felt weird and she had died in her apartment and such. I used to almost run to the elevator because it felt so weird. I kept expecting her to open the door and we'd have another 1 hr clothesline conversation while we were holding oour doors open. It would just FREAK me out EVERY day t leave my apt., stare at her door and try to then go on as if nothing had happened. Everytime I came in or out it was a constant reminder about what happened there. This went on for MONTHS as they renovated the apt. and then MORE months to find a tenant for that huge 2 bedroom place. So freaky. It was soooooo depressing that that relationship was gone even tho we had huge fights and disagreements we always ended up friends again. 30 years of history is hard to throw out the window...esp when you can see into each other's bathrooms! lol. Annnnnnnnnnnnnyway. Finally almost a year later the pace got rented this week and I finally feel I can put som of that haunting stuff to rest. Almost. there's just a tinge left but I'm glad I can finally let, at least in my mind, her go to peace and not be stuck in my imagination. Hmmm Does this make sense? Has this happened to you? I;m almost sure it's a good thing that I don't think her ghost is there when I leave my apt. I dunno maybe it'll never be ok given the situation...or maybe what I'm saying is it can take a long time to get kinda over things or it all takes care of itself mentally when you clear space for it to happen. Ahh the 1 yr anniversaty may be the hardest. I don't know.