Just found out that my mum is back with the guy from this incident..
Back home with a few grocery bags, one evening. Mum home, with him. He doesn't live there. He just came to take her back to his. He commented on how carrying bags is effeminate.
He was playing with my dog, the dog’s foreskin was accidentally retracted. He made a joke about 'Brokeback Mountain' and how my dog must be a gay.
The dude's quite immature, I thought. Why's she with a cunt like him?
He continued passing statements that revealed his underpinned homophobia.
"Do you have a problem with gay people?" I confronted him with. "You seem like you do."
"I don't call them gays" he boasted. "I call them 'poofs'"
..There are often times, while being in the closet, that you feel the doors rattle. My doors were being rattled. I began to boil.
He continued to spout some shit about how his male friend is in love with him; he thinks it's pathetic and disgusting. Mum shot him a look, as if to say WTF?
I cut him off by asking the same question again.
"Yes, I got a problem with them."
"Then you've got a problem with me" I said, knowing what would ensue.
It took a few second to click, and he looked at me unbelievingly.
I told him that he'd insulted me and that I was angry, and that he should leave me alone from now. And I walked away into my back yard.
He followed me out, with my mum a few paces behind him.
At the time I didn't consider "closeted". My friends knew who I was. I didn't cover the truth with my family, they just didn't know.
How much things changed after this night makes me realize how trapped I'd really been.
He'd followed me.
In an outraged tone he asked me if I was gay. I looked from him, to my mum, and back to him.
"Yes, I like men."
Big men.. Who would kick the shit outta' you, I thought.
Things are vague from here. I remember my mother’s calm reassuring, loving look.
He told me he was was a club bouncer. He said if he wasn't in my house he'd beat me up. A lot of shouting. Then things get less heated. He questions me on the subject matter.
He said I didn't look like a gay. Or "act like one". That pissed me off, but I wanted to prove I was more man than him.
I explained that he'd bought into too many stereotypes and was misinformed.
He eventually left. They broke up shortly after this.
I thought it was the most brave way to come out. My mum told me she was proud of me, and the way I stood up for myself. She had never thought I was gay. It hadn't even crossed her mind. I told her that's called the "straight assumption" that people have.
We've spoken more since. I explained how it was growing up to find a world full of people that I believed hated me. You learn from a young age that you're something disgusting and sinful. How damaging for a child.
It's been two years and she recently said that she's seen me grow and strengthen.
She's now back with this guy who I don't get along with. She lied about where she was for a few weeks. And then sprung it on me last night, on the phone, while she was at his.
WTF? He's no good
Back home with a few grocery bags, one evening. Mum home, with him. He doesn't live there. He just came to take her back to his. He commented on how carrying bags is effeminate.
He was playing with my dog, the dog’s foreskin was accidentally retracted. He made a joke about 'Brokeback Mountain' and how my dog must be a gay.
The dude's quite immature, I thought. Why's she with a cunt like him?
He continued passing statements that revealed his underpinned homophobia.
"Do you have a problem with gay people?" I confronted him with. "You seem like you do."
"I don't call them gays" he boasted. "I call them 'poofs'"
..There are often times, while being in the closet, that you feel the doors rattle. My doors were being rattled. I began to boil.
He continued to spout some shit about how his male friend is in love with him; he thinks it's pathetic and disgusting. Mum shot him a look, as if to say WTF?
I cut him off by asking the same question again.
"Yes, I got a problem with them."
"Then you've got a problem with me" I said, knowing what would ensue.
It took a few second to click, and he looked at me unbelievingly.
I told him that he'd insulted me and that I was angry, and that he should leave me alone from now. And I walked away into my back yard.
He followed me out, with my mum a few paces behind him.
At the time I didn't consider "closeted". My friends knew who I was. I didn't cover the truth with my family, they just didn't know.
How much things changed after this night makes me realize how trapped I'd really been.
He'd followed me.
In an outraged tone he asked me if I was gay. I looked from him, to my mum, and back to him.
"Yes, I like men."
Big men.. Who would kick the shit outta' you, I thought.
Things are vague from here. I remember my mother’s calm reassuring, loving look.
He told me he was was a club bouncer. He said if he wasn't in my house he'd beat me up. A lot of shouting. Then things get less heated. He questions me on the subject matter.
He said I didn't look like a gay. Or "act like one". That pissed me off, but I wanted to prove I was more man than him.
I explained that he'd bought into too many stereotypes and was misinformed.
He eventually left. They broke up shortly after this.
I thought it was the most brave way to come out. My mum told me she was proud of me, and the way I stood up for myself. She had never thought I was gay. It hadn't even crossed her mind. I told her that's called the "straight assumption" that people have.
We've spoken more since. I explained how it was growing up to find a world full of people that I believed hated me. You learn from a young age that you're something disgusting and sinful. How damaging for a child.
It's been two years and she recently said that she's seen me grow and strengthen.
She's now back with this guy who I don't get along with. She lied about where she was for a few weeks. And then sprung it on me last night, on the phone, while she was at his.
WTF? He's no good
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