My 2 Favorite Catholic/Jewish Jokes

Discussion in 'Funny Stuff: Jokes, Quizzes, Games & Pics' started by BarebackJack, Sep 19, 2006.

  1. BarebackJack

    BarebackJack New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 3, 2006
    Messages:
    320
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    3
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Los Angeles
    Saul and Abraham are walking down the street when they see a sign outside the Catholic Church that reads: "Convert today and Receive $5"

    Abe says to Saul, "So what do you think? Do they really do that in there?"

    "I don't know, Abe... but I think I'll go in and find out for myself." And with that, Saul enters the church.

    About ten minutes later, Saul emerges. Abe, barely able to contain his curiosity says "So Saul, did they give you five dollars?"

    Saul looks at Abe and growls, "Is that all you people think about?"

    -----------------------------------------------------------

    One day, Rabbi Cohen passes by the Catholic Church and sees Father Finnegan standing outside, so he approaches and strikes up a conversation. After a few minutes of light chit-chat, Father Finnegan looks at his watch and says, "Oh heavens... I must go in and do the weekly confession."

    Never having done such a ritual himself, Rabbi Cohen asks the priest if he might sit in and watch to see how the Catholics handle things. "Oh sure," says the Priest. "There's enough room in my side of the confession booth. You can sit and observe all you like."

    Once inside the booth, a woman walks in, sits down, and says "Forgive me Father, for I have sinned."

    "And what have you done, my child?" the Father offers.

    "I committed adultry three times this week," she says
    "Well, you may be absolved of your sin. Say your Hail Mary's and put five dollars in the collection plate."

    A few minutes later, a man sits down and says, "Forgive me Father, for I have sinned."
    "And what have you done, my child?" the Father again asks.

    "I committed adultry three times this week," he says
    "Well, you may be absolved of your sin. Say your Hail Mary's and put five dollars in the collection plate."

    Then an altar boy pops his head into the confessional and says "Father Finnegan, there's a call for you in the office."
    The Priest becomes slightly consternated and says "Boy, can't you see I am in the middle of confession?"
    "Yes, sir," the boy apologizes, "But it's a long distance call from the Vatican!"

    "Oh, my, I most certainly must take that call," the Father exclaims, and then he turns to Rabbi Cohen and asks, "You've seen how this works... do you think you could handle things here while I take this call?"

    The Rabbi agrees, and the Priest flies out of the booth and hurries down the hall.

    Shortly thereafter, a woman sits down in the booth and says, "Forgive me Father, for I have sinned."

    "So... what did you do?" the Rabbi intones.
    "I committed adultry twice this week..."

    The Rabbi leans close to the screen between him and the woman and whispers, "Psst... go out and do it again... we're having a special this week: three for five dollars!"
     
Draft saved Draft deleted