My 20% Seems to be going down.

interestedchap

Experimental Member
Joined
Aug 3, 2012
Posts
79
Media
0
Likes
7
Points
43
Location
WorldWide
Sexuality
80% Straight, 20% Gay
Gender
Male
Have any of you guys seen your bi-curious/sexual ways come to a gradual decline? I find myself watching straight porn again and a recent jerk off encounter with my best friend gave me some closure of sorts as I was satisfied that I got that urge to do something with a friend out of my system. Now I have no urge to jerk off with another guy ever again and even my wet dreams involve just women again! :)
 

Fnord

Sexy Member
Joined
Oct 24, 2009
Posts
51
Media
27
Likes
78
Points
53
Location
Southeast near Den Bosch
Sexuality
80% Gay, 20% Straight
Gender
Male
How interesting! I am quite the opposite. Having started out with a mild curiosity for the same sex, I have now joined the other team as it were. I enjoyed a marriage to a woman and had great sex with her for many years, but for reasons I shall not bore you with, I decided to explore my other side as well at some point. Sadly my marriage died - again, I shall spare you the boring details - but since then I had discovered that I love sex with a man. Now I am happily remarried, but this time my partner is male :)
Just goes to show that sexuality can be a pretty fluid thing for some people.
 

Smaccoms

Legendary Member
Joined
Dec 19, 2007
Posts
2,778
Media
7
Likes
1,466
Points
583
Age
34
Location
Massachusetts (United States)
Sexuality
No Response
Almost nothing in life stays the same or is concrete. I would worry if I thought my sexual identity was staying the same (rather than changing), because it's usually an illusion created from within, like from fear for example.

As a primary rule of thumb, you cannot know for sure what you will want or who you will be in the future. For example, right now I have a strong dual-identity as a homosexual and a pansexual (which one I act on depends on context of course. They are really just two different ways or understanding and relating to myself. One uses an original reference point within the binary while the other uses an original reference point from outside the binary). It possible that in 10 years, I may simply identify as straight. I don't know because I am not me in 10 years I am me right now. You have to be comfortable with not knowing things like this, which means working through controversial feelings one may have about all potential identities we could have in the future. Trust, it helps avoid much unnecessary stress. I had to learn the hard way by not dealing with my fear of a pan-sexuality until I reached college.

I hope that helps...ad that it made sense. Most people don't think abstractly so they find it difficult to follow my line of thought processes.
 

B_Nick8

Cherished Member
Joined
Jun 29, 2007
Posts
11,403
Media
0
Likes
298
Points
208
Location
New York City, by way of Marblehead, Boston and Ge
Sexuality
80% Gay, 20% Straight
Gender
Male
Almost nothing in life stays the same or is concrete. I would worry if I thought my sexual identity was staying the same (rather than changing), because it's usually an illusion created from within, like from fear for example.

As a primary rule of thumb, you cannot know for sure what you will want or who you will be in the future. For example, right now I have a strong dual-identity as a homosexual and a pansexual (which one I act on depends on context of course. They are really just two different ways or understanding and relating to myself. One uses an original reference point within the binary while the other uses an original reference point from outside the binary). It possible that in 10 years, I may simply identify as straight. I don't know because I am not me in 10 years I am me right now. You have to be comfortable with not knowing things like this, which means working through controversial feelings one may have about all potential identities we could have in the future. Trust, it helps avoid much unnecessary stress. I had to learn the hard way by not dealing with my fear of a pan-sexuality until I reached college.

I hope that helps...ad that it made sense. Most people don't think abstractly so they find it difficult to follow my line of thought processes.

Ok, little miss voice of a generation. You just keep on keepin' on...
 

erratic

Loved Member
Joined
Nov 27, 2007
Posts
4,289
Media
0
Likes
508
Points
333
Sexuality
No Response
The same thing happened to me. I'd resolved it, had no desire to do it again, etc. And then I met Mr. November...

Ahaha, beautiful.

OP, I think it's normal to see fluctuations in our levels of desire. I wouldn't be surprised if something (or someone) rekindled your 20% at some point.

Whether that happens or not, I wouldn't sweat it.

It also seems to be pretty normal that people who aren't at either end of the sexuality spectrum get a bit angsty about their sexuality when it shows signs of fluidity. Like we're taught to believe these things are absolutely set in stone, so deviation from that idea makes people feel like they might be weird.

Anyway, you sound perfectly normal to me.
 

HJ1958

Worshipped Member
Verified
Gold
Cammer
Joined
Nov 16, 2010
Posts
2,430
Media
48
Likes
14,655
Points
543
Location
USA
Verification
View
Sexuality
50% Straight, 50% Gay
Gender
Male
If anything, my 30% may go up. As I grow older and experience more of what is out there sexually, I'm finding myself fulfilled sexually in so many more ways than I was in my earlier days. I look on it all as explorations and I'm not near as uptight about trying new things and exploring all the options.
 

FuzzyKen

Sexy Member
Joined
Nov 10, 2006
Posts
2,045
Media
0
Likes
97
Points
193
Gender
Male
If one is bisexual this tends from what I understand to be a normal thing. Some guys who are "Bi" will only jack off to porn on one side of the fence and yet when the opposite side of the fence presents itself in living erotic flesh they go for it without hesitation.

Also cravings are at times based on boredom.

There is another way to think of it and as crazy as it sounds it makes sense. If you are male and having sex with a female at that moment you are predominately straight, if two hours later you're in the sack with another male at that moment you're predominately gay.

The more important question is: "Why does it matter?"

Numbers on this are misleading and depend on emotions and a thousand other variables.
 

camchain

Legendary Member
Verified
Gold
Joined
Jan 26, 2008
Posts
1,473
Media
14
Likes
1,505
Points
443
Location
yorkshire, uk
Verification
View
Sexuality
50% Straight, 50% Gay
Gender
Male
yes, it's you. your life enjoy it. don't just do-go with what is expected of you, what others expect of you, do what you want to do.
age, time and circumstance change as mine did. we all change and mellow and take stock of life from time to time.
don't hold it all back, go out there and do something about it.
 

Smaccoms

Legendary Member
Joined
Dec 19, 2007
Posts
2,778
Media
7
Likes
1,466
Points
583
Age
34
Location
Massachusetts (United States)
Sexuality
No Response
Ok, little miss voice of a generation. You just keep on keepin' on...

+1 hehe.

Also, just to prove a point, I had a slight revelation last night. My dual identity is bisexual and pansexual. The reason I switched from gay to bi was because I realized that I can relate to women sexually enough to understand that side of the binary. The transition has been occurring for a while now actually. My pansexuality remains mostly the same (part of the advantage of it actually; it gives you a more flexible reference point for yourself).

Where did you get that phrase by the way? I have never heard it before?
 

D_Doe_Ray_Mi

Account Disabled
Joined
Jul 11, 2009
Posts
912
Media
0
Likes
142
Points
113
Sexuality
No Response
Str8 here but been exploring same gender attraction (SGA) for past year. Just reconnected with ex-GF and lost MM exploration interest . . . but today been obsessed with looking at beautiful cock here and wanting JO bud / male bonding experience again. As the wind blows . . .
 

D_22

Cherished Member
Joined
Nov 4, 2011
Posts
2,383
Media
33
Likes
490
Points
228
Location
NYC
Sexuality
60% Gay, 40% Straight
Gender
Male
Nothing much to worry about, I'm a bit used to it. I go through phases where I'm interested in one side than the other, times when I only watch one type of porn than the other, etc. I have noticed, though, when I'm in a relationship (even currently as I'm with a dude), when I check out people, it's always females. It's like I don't really have much interest in other dudes when I'm in a relationship.
 

cgttown

Expert Member
Joined
Nov 3, 2005
Posts
435
Media
4
Likes
174
Points
173
Location
Tulsa, Oklahoma
Sexuality
80% Straight, 20% Gay
Gender
Male
Right after I cum after having sex with another man, I don't have much desire to have sex with another man. Actually, right after I cum, I want to go to sleep. ;-)

I think the fluidity of one's sexuality has to be taken as what it is. The only part of the OP's post that disturbs me is his seeming elation. "Yes, I don't like cock anymore!" I mean, if you were troubled by your bi-sexual urges and wanting to get rid of them, maybe you've successfully done just that. You want some sausage, and now you've had your fill.

I would just caution you that you may find the hunger again. How you deal with that is up to you, and I'd encourage you not to beat yourself up about it too much. (Maybe you're younger and don't carry the baggage most of us over 40 guys do about same sex attraction.)

BTW, I had several years where I did not need or particularly want sex with another man, but that changed once I wasn't stressing out about job stuff and I actually had an outlet via the Internet. I can repress with the best of them, but it all came bubbling up to the top eventually. (Hey, did you see how I worked in "came" and "top" into that sentence without really trying. Sheesh, I'm too juvenile by half sometimes. heheheh)