My 23rd Birthday

Discussion in 'Et Cetera, Et Cetera' started by D_Martin van Burden, Mar 6, 2003.

  1. D_Martin van Burden

    D_Martin van Burden Account Disabled

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    Happy birthday to me...
    I am twenty-three...
    (And I'm gonna quit rhyming.)

    Thought I'd share. I have a diary entry for today called "Nobody Likes You When You're 23," inspired by a good friend. I'll upload the link when I can get it onto the server.
     
  2. Imported

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    aussiechick63: Happy Birthday Dee. :-*
    Hope you have a great Birthday.
     
  3. Imported

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    sammygirly: Happy Birthday Dee!

    (...admit that I'm a lurker on your website...)
     
  4. Pecker

    Pecker Retired Moderator
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    Many happy returns, Dee! Think you're a little too young to identify with the following? Not for long!.....


    YOU KNOW YOU'RE GETTING OLD WHEN ...

    "Getting a little action" means you don't need to take a laxative.

    At cafeterias, you complain that the gelatin is too tough.

    Everything hurts and what doesn't hurt, doesn't work.

    In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.

    It takes a couple of tries to get over a speed bump.

    It takes twice as long to look half as good.

    Many of your co-workers were born the same year that you got your last promotion.

    No one expects you to run into a burning building.

    People call at 9 p.m. and ask, "Did I wake you?"

    Someone compliments you on your layered look.... and you're wearing a speedo.

    The end of your tie doesn't come anywhere near the top of your pants.

    The little gray-haired lady you help across the street is your wife.

    The pharmacist has become you new best friend.

    The twinkle in your eye is the reflection of the sun on your bifocals.

    Things you buy now won't wear out.

    When getting lucky means you find your car in the parking lot.

    When happy hour is a nap.

    When you are cautioned to slow down by your doctor instead of the police.

    When you don't care where your wife goes, just so you don't have to go with her.

    When you have a choice of two temptations and you choose the one that will get you home earlier.

    When you wake up with that morning-after feeling, and you didn't do anything the night before.

    When your birth certificate says expired on it.

    When you're told to act your own age, and you die.

    You and your teeth don't sleep together.

    You can't remember the last time you laid on the floor to watch television.

    You confuse having a clear conscience with having a bad memory.

    You don't know real embarrassment until your hip sets off a metal detector.

    You don't remember being absent minded.

    You don't remember when your wild oats turned to prunes and all bran.

    You finally got your head together, now your body is falling apart.

    You find yourself beginning to like accordion music.

    You get exercise acting as a pallbearer for friends who exercise.

    You get winded playing chess.

    You give up all your bad habits and you still don't feel good.

    You have too much room in the house and not enough in the medicine cabinet.

    You know all the answers, but nobody asks you the questions.

    You light the candles on your birthday cake, and a group of campers form a circle and start singing "Kumbaya."

    You look both ways before crossing a room.

    You look forward to a dull evening.

    You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.

    You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.

    You run out of breath walking DOWN a flight of stairs.

    You sink your teeth into a steak ...and they stay there.

    You sit in a rocking chair and can't get it going.

    You turn off the lights for economic rather than romantic reasons.

    You wear black socks with sandals.

    You would rather go to work than stay home sick.

    Your back goes out more than you do.

    Your children are beginning to look middle-aged.

    Your ears are hairier than your head.

    Your idea of a night out is sitting on the patio.

    Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.

    Your joints are more accurate than the National Weather Service.

    Your knees buckle and your belt won't.

    Your little black book only contains names ending in M.D.

    Your new easy chair has more options than your car.

    Your pacemaker raises the garage door when you see a pretty girl go by.

    Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.

    You're asleep, but others worry that you're dead.

    You're on a TV game show and you decide to risk it all and go for the rocker.

    You're sitting on a park bench, and a Boy Scout comes up and helps you cross your legs.

    Pecker
     
  5. Imported

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    Finedessert: Happy Birthday Dee:

    And just to add to..YOU KNOW YOU'RE GETTING OLD WHEN ...


    You have a bowel movement every morning at 5am.

    and an hour later you get out of bed.....

    Grandpa
     
  6. Imported

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    hung: Growing Old:

    You know your are old when:

    You must exercise caution when reaching into the drawers near the sink and you do not want to mistake

    your KY Jelly for your Super Poligrip

    your InSpiral Condoms for your Polident Denture Cleaner

    Making a mistake in either of these situations could result in some real problems - But then that is why I wear bifocals as part of the foreplay.
     
  7. Imported

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    mindseye: Happy birthday, Dee!
     
  8. Imported

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    7x6andchg: Happy Birthday, Dee and many more happy ones.

    23...I remember 23.... <man looks away from computer wistfully>

    Remember - it all starts going downhill after 25.... :D
     
  9. Imported

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    AnonyMs: Happy Birthday, Dee!

    In honor of your day, here is my favorite toast:

    My you live as long as you want to,
    and may you want to as long as you live!

    Cheers!
     
  10. Imported

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    Ineligible: Happy Birthday yesterday, Dee.

    I considered 23 a serious birthday, when you could no longer pretend to yourself you were barely out of your teens.

    From here on, it's all downhill :).
     
  11. Imported

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    awellhungboi: Happy birthday, Dee!
     
  12. D_Martin van Burden

    D_Martin van Burden Account Disabled

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    Much appreciated, you all! :)
     
  13. Imported

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    ORCABOMBER: Happy Birthday! Why do I always have to be late?? :D
     
  14. Imported

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    7x6andchg: Orcabomber-

    Damn time zones! ;)
     
  15. Ralexx

    Ralexx Member

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    Oooo !! HAPPY BIRTHDAY from Pisces to Pisces !!
    Sorry to be in a 4 days delay, it's the first time I join Lpsg from Paris, after 3... maybe 4 weeks here.

    I celebrated my birthday here, on February 25. (DMW, where is the Club Cléopâtre you once mentioned ?? ;D)
     
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