My best friend just started freebasing cocaine

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by D_VictorVikkiTielVictoria, Jun 9, 2009.

  1. D_VictorVikkiTielVictoria

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    I have very close friend who's been sober for 25 years.
    That is until she started seeing this 47 year old loser who freebases cocaine.
    And naturally, she said says she isn't doing it.
    Fat chance right?....SURE
    Well, since she took up with this guy in march, her personality has completely changed.
    No longer is she the sweet unselfish trustworthy and loyal person I used to know.
    She's now a combative agitated nasty asshole, and it's become increasingly hard to deal with anymore.
    I don't have absolute proof that she's using, but all the signs are there.
    I've been her friend through thick and thin and...
    Out of respect for her sobriety, in all the 10 years I've known her, I never once drank liquor, beer, whatever, in front of her....NEVER.
    So now here she is in love with this fucking loser.
    She has a cat that's 19 years old, on medication and living her final days
    as she stays out every night, comes home at 5:30 in the morning, after not getting any sleep at all. She just plops her ass in bed and sleeps till 3pm, gets up, goes to work, only to be picked up by this asshole as they go to his place to get high.
    Just imagine...this cat was there for 19 years, through all the years she was trying to get clean,.... and this is the thanks this poor animal gets in return.
    After all those wonderful years, poor Scruffy may die alone and lonely.
    And not only does she leave the cat alone for days at a time, the place has cat shit and puke everywhere with litterally nowhere to walk.
    That pisses me off more than the cocaine
    I'm really worried about my friend, but it's wearing really thin because of the way she talks to me.
    A while back before I knew anything about this guy, I bought her a 300.00 bass guitar because it's been a dream of hers to play bass and I wanted to make that happen for her.
    But yesterday I went to her place..(.whoa, she was home)and I told her I needed the bass for a recording session.
    But I'm now debating whether to return it or not.
    I'm afraid at some point she'll sell my gift to buy more dope.
    Please give me your thoughts on this VERY ugly situation
    I hope I didn't ruin your day with this shit
    Thanks
     
  2. Countryguy63

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    Hi Robert,

    I agree strongly with all of your opinions except..not returning the base. Yep, I'm sure you're correct, she will eventually sell it for drugs. However, if I understand it correctly, you bought it for her, and then "borrowed" it back? Dude, as much as you may hate it, you did give it to her, right? You need to be honorable and return it. Maybe suggest that if she ever wants to get rid of it, you're interested. But as crappy as it is, it's hers.

    Good Luck Bud!! These situations are never easy nor pleasant.
     
    #2 Countryguy63, Jun 9, 2009
    Last edited: Jun 9, 2009
  3. Adrian69702006

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    It's difficult to know quite what to say - at least easily. I suspect your suspicions are correct. Placed in the same situation I'd probably make it clear to the friend in question that I expected her to be honest with me and not lie about her involvement with drugs. From what you say, it sounds as though the guy she's taken up with is seriously bad news and I'd encourage her to end that relationship. At the present time you can't prove that she's doing drugs but you have a well justified suspicion that she is and your instincts may well prove correct. It sounds to me as though the life she's making for herself isn't a life at all but a living death. My advice would be to make it plain to her, firmly but gently, that it has to change and she's got to start respecting both herself and you. If she can't or won't do that, tell her that you feel very let down and you no longer wish to be part of her life.
     
  4. nudeyorker

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    I was just thinking about you this morning. I am so sorry that you have this going on. As harsh as it sounds I would walk away without the guitar and tell her that you are going to embrace all the positive forces in your life and that she in her current situation does not fit in with your plans for friendship and happiness. I would love to be able to say that you could sit down and talk to her reasonably, but with my limited experience with addicts; it's not possible.
    I just had a similar conversation with someone on Sunday, we all have to deal with people that we would otherwise choose not to...but when we have a choice...take the highroad and walk away.
    Good Luck!
     
  5. joeweekend

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    Good luck. And don't be afraid to confront her. She'll lie to you. It won't work right away.

    But make it clear that she can always come to you when she decides she needs help. Eventually she will, and it will be easier for her to do it if she knows she can come to you.
     
  6. Amber1

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    Call animal Protection Services.

    There is a neglected elderly cat there...

    No cat wants to live in a room full of shit and puke!!

    As for her I'd cut your losses you can't be involved with her at this stage in her life and she needs to sort her self out...

    I'm more concearned about the cat...
     
  7. D_Jerry_Atric

    D_Jerry_Atric Account Disabled

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    I agree about the cat. Can you adopt it?

    As for your friend I know it sounds really mean but tell her that you can no longer be friends with her if she continues to smoke crack or base and just cut her out of your life. I have done this with friends who became addicted to alcohol, heroin/opiates, cocaine, and speed. I'm sure as you know the only way someone can stop using drugs is if they want to.

    DO NOT lend her any money and cocaine is VERY addictive in certain people and do not give her the bass back since she'll just probably wind up selling it to support her habit.
     
  8. arthur

    arthur New Member

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    Everyone above has said what I wanted to say. She's gotta sort herself out. Forget the guitar, it was a gift. Keeping it will only aggravate her and cause more problems. More importantly like Amber said, cat needs looking after, it's not the one with the drug problem and has not asked to be put into this situation. Rescue cat and then rescue yourself. She'll only drag you down with her. I know this sounds selfish, but have been in this situation, and cutting ties is only way.

    Good luck mate, my heart goes out to you!! Not an easy situation to be in!!
     
  9. dufus

    dufus New Member

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    It is a no win situation for you if she continues to do drugs. I agree with arthur, I would just cut all ties. If I were you, I would keep the guitar. You didn't give it to her to sell for drugs.
     
  10. B_Nick8

    B_Nick8 New Member

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    The guitar was a gift. It's hers to do with as she wishes and, unfortunately, you can't make those decisions for her.

    I hate, hate, hate seeing you in this situation and I know how difficult this must be for you. Also unfortunately, the best thing you can do for yourself is walk away until and if she gets herself together. I would tell her why, however. She needs to understand the consequences of her actions and her choices. It is not out of punishment that you do this but out of self-preservation and the understanding that you can do nothing for her unless she decides to do something for herself.
     
  11. B_Think_Kink

    B_Think_Kink New Member

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    Treat the guitar as a symbol of friendship. If she sells it, then remember that and treat the friendship as such. I would call animal services about the cat. Someone else would probably love to foster it until it passes.
     
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