My bf almost killed me our 1st time - Please tell me it gets better.....

lois

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So, to make a long story short, my bf has a larger than normal sized cock and we tried having sex the other night. This was my first time in over 4 years and I was really excited about it. But, it ended up being a terrible experience. It hurt really bad and bled a little all night. Even though it hurt I told him to keep going cause I figured I am just going to have to get used to it. But, he never could really get it in very far and evidently I didn't do very well at hiding the pain cause after a while he stopped because he said he didn't want to hurt me. We tried two or three different positions but none of them seemed to help.

I've never had this problem before and been with two other guys in the past. When I lost my virginity, it hurt a little but it was nowhere nearly as painful as the other night.

So, my question is, does it get better? Like once my vagina stretches will it stay that way, because what I've read seems to say otherwise (which is not what I figured)? Anyone have any tips?

All I can say is that I've always enjoyed sex in the past and this guy is absolutely wonderful and I want to enjoy with him. I'm already terrible at giving him head since he's so big and he's really good at giving it to me. So, I want this to be as enjoyable for him as for me and right now it's looking like no one is enjoying it....

thanks,
lois
 

36DD

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I've gone for years at a time too (my husband loved food more than me) and so the first few times will make you a little sore and you might bleed, but soon honey, trust me, you'll be singing a new tune! Just comes with time, be patient.
 

Rikter8

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Step 1. Undress and lay on your back, and hold your legs near your chest.
Step 2. Have your boyfriend get hard, and put his cockhead in your pussy.
step 3. Snap a picture.

Step 4 - share with us. We need more visuals to see the problem.

:tongue:

Oh, and welcome aboard. I see that this is your first post, and that you just joined....
 

lois

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Ha, thanks everyone. That makes me feel a lot better.....
 

transformer_99

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Lubrication and get him to slow down or even shorter strokes, if the pace was too fast. Not enough lubrication even with a smaller unit is going to be unpleasant. You could probably get him off with grinding him like a stripper giving friction, no/minimal penetration even necessary ? Anyway, advice to take it slower, should the relationship not work out, the next bf wouldn't want you to go into another 4+ year hiatus from sex or even come away with a mindblock that sex hurts period.
 

medic1964

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Hi Lois, What is your age? Are you having any menopause symptoms because the vaginal tissues become more fragile and less elastic with hormonal changes. Try some good lubrication and even practice with him with a dildo might make the transition easier. Good Luck!
 

basque9

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While you are working to enlarge the size of your vaginal opening , have you considered allowing him anal access, or is that a problem area for you as well ? He is going to have to have some sexual accomodation with you in order to keep his ardor hot! Good Luck!
 

Gisella

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Well....for sure is foreigner situation for me never happened as bleeding goes because of wetness, is very important to keep it very wet - I do understand the excitement of keep going as we get a big one for the 1st time. I do enjoy rough sex too...and later we may pay the price.

But just go slower next time and use plenty of lub...it will get not only better but deliciously better.:smile:

How big is he anyways?
 

36DD

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Bleeding can be caused by other things like being inactive for a long time or also maybe a slight bladder infection... for me, it has been when I've had to go without for a long time (unhappy marriage).

Well....for sure is foreigner situation for me never happened as bleeding goes because of wetness, is very important to keep it very wet - I do understand the excitement of keep going as we get a big one for the 1st time. I do enjoy rough sex too...and later we may pay the price.

But just go slower next time and use plenty of lub...it will get not only better but deliciously better.:smile:

How big is he anyways?
 

BigBri

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Lube Lube Lube...one of the best things I have found in the way of lube (and you know what your getting) go to the health food store and buy avacado oil and sunflower oil..mix them in equal parts...healthy, good for the skin. never gets sticky, washes off easily no funky chemical smells and if you don't like it for sex you can always dress a salad..!

Bri...
 

lightninggirl

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the only thing that helped me was giving birth to a 10-lb. baby. no, i'm not kidding. but i was abnormally tight, and now i'm "normal."

if you haven't had sex in four years, you've probably "forgotten" how to make things more comfortable. since you bled, i'd say you certainly weren't anywhere close to being wet enough, so make sure that you've got a bottle of lube with you at all times!

i look at it like fisting. i LOVE being fisted, but there is no way in hell i can accept a fist immediately. there has to be relaxing, tit play, clit play, and a SLOOOOOOOOOOOOW workup! he just has to prime you first. and get some lube, for the love of God. bleeding is not good, and lacerations hurt like hell when you pee.
 

lois

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if you haven't had sex in four years, you've probably "forgotten" how to make things more comfortable.

I think that pretty much probably sums it up. I am about to turn 25 and haven't had sex since I was 20. The last guy was an ass in every way. We did it a couple times but I finally told him I had decided to abstain for religious reasons. Honestly, that was probably just an excuse cause that reason has never stopped me in the past. I was just young and stupid. I still can't believe I ever let him touch me, but that's a whole other story. So, since the last guy was so bad, I've been extremely picky about finding someone else. Finally, it has happened.

I was actually really excited about doing it again because I was so young with my last partner that even though it was great, we really didn't know what we were doing. Of all the times we had sex, we never tried different positions and the whole time I was inadvertantly lying and telling him I had an orgasm. I really thought I had, but I know now that I definitely hadn't. Now that I'm a little older (it's surprising how much you change between 20 and 25) and understand things better and am more comfortable and understanding of my own body, I can't wait to play around and try new positions and such. This guy is great, I'm just not sure if I'm ready for his size.

To be honest, I don't know exactly how big he is. I just know he's a bit larger than normal, judging from the other guys I've been with/seen and he definitely has a bit of a rep for being well endowed. Although, sometimes I think everyone else overexaggerates a little. We have to use Magnum condoms but it's just the regular ones. I've heard they are not much bigger than regular condoms but I'm not sure about that. All I know is that he says he has trouble getting regular condoms on.

As far as anal sex, the idea scares the hell out of me. I mean, if it hurts that bad going in my vagina, what's it gonna feel like going in my ass?

His best friend told me it was probably going to feel like losing my virginity all over again. Looks like he was right....

Thanks for all your help,
lois
 

OmahaBeef

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It will get better Lois...

My ex-gf was quite a bit more experienced than I was when we met, but she was freaked out about my size. It took us several unsuccessful attempts for insertion for a while...then worked our way into shallow depth, short duration sex...then finally into all-out sex.

I turned her into a size queen and she actively persues me to this day. Which would be nice if she woren't married and also nuttier than squirrel turds.

I can assure you...this WILL get better.

...OB
 

ONB

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Lois... you pretty much describe my current girlfriends response with me the 1st time we were together. Its very promising that you are here and asking all the right questions. Just be sure that you talk with him about it... and communicate about it. Even though I attempted to talk with my g/f about it, since I'm a bit older and am more experienced with dealing with my size, she was very quiet about what she was feeling for a long time. Eventually she opened up... explained that the 1st time was worst than losing her virginity. Fortunately, she did open up with me, and since then its gotten a lot better her. As others have already mentioned, use lots of lube. And as I said, communicate.

As for anal... I've never been able to convince a g/f to have it with me... and I don't blame any of them. I'm sure he's probably aware that it's 'usually' not an option. Make sure you communicate how you feel... most well endowed guys aren't shocked and are very accepting that anal is not an option.

best of luck... and i really hope it gets better for you. ;)
 

OmahaBeef

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As for anal... I've never been able to convince a g/f to have it with me... and I don't blame any of them. I'm sure he's probably aware that it's 'usually' not an option. Make sure you communicate how you feel... most well endowed guys aren't shocked and are very accepting that anal is not an option.

best of luck... and i really hope it gets better for you. ;)


Ditto...amen!

...OB
 

nakedwally

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Yes it will get better just learn to relax and evrything will be fine, that's what i had to do.


Firstly... Stop worrying.

Yes it will get better, though depending on his size and your current "available space" you may need to work up to it with toys and such and lube is always a good start ofc.

As for will you always stay that size if you get that size.. No, despite what some would have you think, there are many women, myself included who can handle the girth of being double fisted and still hold a pencil with it when needed. Obviously a lot of women need to work at this, training your muscles so you can loosen up to accomodate at the same time as being able to tighten up as much as you like, at the same time there are many who don't need to work at it, it comes naturally. Either way, you'll know soon enough which you are and all will be good.

Just remember, the more you worry about it, the less you'll relax and the whole thing becomes a lot more difficult