My Bil Groped Me

12cylinder

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Hi

My first cousins husband has been in my life for a decade (since I was 18, no grooming type stuff) Most of this time I’ve been in relationships. Only now is the first long span that I haven’t been in one.

In the past he’s made comments about how nice my ass is. And remarked that it’s big.

anyhoo. This time at dinner when we hugged he grabbed my ass so hard with his full palm. When I left he did the same thing but grabbed both cheeks with each full palm. Both times he said he missed me.

I feel like he may have waited for me to be single before doing this. Especially because my previous long term ex did not play with other guys giving me attention. My BIL knew this bc my ex told him about the time a guy flashed me and my ex beat him up.

What does this mean. Is he attracted to me. I obviously need to talk to him about this but don’t want to end up in a porno scenario. Not interested in looking like or being a home wrecker.
 

Lance V

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The only family you should be involved with is the person you marry. The rest are strictly off limit to about third or fourth cousins.

But, of course, your aim is to separate your cousin with her husband then stay on that course.

Think you can keep it undercover? Yeah, think again.
 
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12cylinder

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The only family you should be involved with is the person you marry. The rest are strictly off limit to about third or fourth cousins.

But, of course, your aim is to separate your cousin with her husband then stay on that course.

Think you can keep it undercover? Yeah, think again.

I am a victim you fucking old piece of shit.
 
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2304901

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Bum pats and grabs are a sign of bonding and affection with some men and aren't sexual. I think your BIL likes and respects you as his BIL and nothing more.
 
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1345864

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Bum pats and grabs are a sign of bonding and affection with some men and aren't sexual. I think your BIL likes and respects you as his BIL and nothing more.
I don't think it's platonic when he's telling him he's got a nice ass and grabbing it with enough force to crush a walnut.

@12cylinder Relax. I don't necessarily think you're looking to cheat or are somehow inviting this behavior. I would tell the BIL to back off and that you're a married man. Lay down the law and let him know you won't cheat and you don't appreciate his behavior.
 

spaj8987

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I don't think it's platonic when he's telling him he's got a nice ass and grabbing it with enough force to crush a walnut.

@12cylinder I would tell the BIL to back off and that you're a married man. Lay down the law and let him know you won't cheat and you don't appreciate his behavior.

A word to the wise. You might wanna check out this thread before you give OP any real advice.

Toxic Masculinity

Seems to me he has and will continue to make threads specifically to prove a non-existent point.
 

spaj8987

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The only family you should be involved with is the person you marry. The rest are strictly off limit to about third or fourth cousins.

But, of course, your aim is to separate your cousin with her husband then stay on that course.

Think you can keep it undercover? Yeah, think again.

Heads up. My dude is a troll.

Toxic Masculinity
 

Lance V

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I am a victim you fucking old piece of shit.

Whoa now, that was difficult to discern from your original post now.

My response was generic in nature, but I appreciate your position and am sorry for your predicament.
 
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I don't think it's platonic when he's telling him he's got a nice ass and grabbing it with enough force to crush a walnut.

He could just being playful or maybe envious or congratulating him on his squat workouts.

Also there is no such thing as platonic or romantic etc... humans don't and never will fit into neat boxes like that.
 
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I'm a little confused now....@spaj8987 He might've been off with some of what he was saying in that thread but in this OP it sounded like a genuine dilemma needing an answer. You're saying he's making up this situation?
 

spaj8987

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I'm a little confused now....@spaj8987 He might've been off with some of what he was saying in that thread but in this OP it sounded like a genuine dilemma needing an answer. You're saying he's making up this situation?

That's my guess. I could be wrong but we were talking about toxic masculinity and....

(
blah blah blah



here’s a great example of toxic masculinity. I made a post about how I was a victim and then they construed it that I was somehow the aggressor. If it was a woman that this happened to.... there would be no question that she was the victim.)

He went from zero to sixty in like eight hours. To me screaming he had an agenda coming in. Very often the...if i were a woman thing is a very good sign that someone's opinions were already solidified before even making said thread. Again, could be wrong but i for sure don't think i am.

Here. Check out the rest.

(Another wall of text full of nothing.



your gaslighting is crazy. Attempting to conflate unwilling to compromise with unwilling to be a doormat.)


....

(you’re assuming this is the first time I’ve been exposed to these ideas.

and you’re projecting quite a bit.


So much gaslighting.)

....

(Another wall of text


Is this supposed to convince me you’re the mature one)

.....

(You clearly do. And now you’re gas lighting even more since I won’t budge.

This is pretty abusive actually.


But since I’m a man you will think I deserve the abuse for not Agreeing with you.)

....

(Yes. Why don’t you value me when I tell you it’s abusive and instead continue to push?

probably because I’m a man.



Also you continue to conflate your opinion with facts and reality. You have poor cognition. Look it up.


And now you’re claiming I’m not a masculine man because I won’t do what you want.

continued abuse and gaslighting.


Furthermore I don’t wish to change your mind. I just want to show everyone how hateful you are. Thank you for helping with that.)

And here's his very first comment in that toxic masculinity thread.

(Nobody here can explain it despite using fucking walls of texts.


That should be your answer. It’s bullshit.)
 
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