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My "bisexual" Boyfriend

Discussion in 'Ask a Bisexual Man' started by Rose90, Jan 4, 2021.

  1. Rose90

    Rose90 Experimental Member

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    Hi everyone. I introduce myself . My name is Rosa and i'm italian. Six months ago for fun I downloaded grindr with a friend (the gay dating app). There I wrote to a man and told him I was a girl. He immediately told me he was bisexual and wanted to go out with me. We started dating but he never tried to kiss me or anything. A month has passed while he kept using gay dating apps and after giving me my first innocent kiss he confided to me that I was his first girlfriend in 34 years of life.
    He told me he had two relationships with two men that tragically died, the both of them.
    We kept dating, and he kept using gay dating apps ( sending is bottom pics to everyone there, he is a bottom) .
    I told him that i didn't want an open relationship and that i wanted him to stop using the apps. He didn't seem to want to go further with me or be intimate. Anyway we continued dating and he became my boyfriend. We started to make love.at first once a week...then once a month and then nothing. I found him on the gay dating apps again sending pics.. i forgave him thousands of times. Then his lack of desire for me became a problem. I talked to him about that and he told me he is not that kind of person that needs sex, that he is in love with me and that is love, not sex. That he had a lot of sex with men ...but for fun, with me is different, is love! He told me i am obsessed about making love and i am not normal.
    He told me that the fact that his boyfriends died was a lie. He told me he's been sexually abused by a man ( i think is a lie too) he told me he never really cheated on me but only on the apps. (In the apps he kept asking for places where to meet. And he used every kind of gay dating apps or site, never caught him searching for women) So..i asked him.. are you sure you are bisexual? And he replied..yes because I'm in love with you and i can't explain that. So ..it is possible?? To be bisexual and to don't want intimacy with the person you love and keep looking for men ?? I feel humiliated, sad and angry..and i don't know what to think. I hope someone has some suggestions. Thank you for reading.. bye everybody !!
     
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  2. FatCock

    FatCock Admired Member

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    Hi, take what I am about to say with a grain of salt, please. I think that can be 2 orientation, one being the sexual orientation, to whom you are attracted physically, and "sensual"/intimacy orientation, to whow you are attracted emotionally, who you love. Maybe he is straight in intimacy, because a lot of things, and be bi or gay in sexual relations.

    I hope it helped
     
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  3. TobiasTalon70

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    I am bisexual and married to a woman. I agree with what the reply previous said - two attractions. He loves your soul, but is looking for a male body to have sex. That’s not going to change. It’s his nature. You have to decide if you can be in a sexless relationship.
     
  4. njfellow2002

    njfellow2002 Legendary Member

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    Wow--Not sure where to start here, or what you are expecting. You asked a man who told you upfront he was bi-sexual, and you found on gay dating site, to date you and then become exclusive in non-open relationship. This is not a healthy situation. He will have no option but to do his own thing BEHIND your back which will hurt you, and make him resentful. If you wish to continue in this relationship a new level of honesty and acceptance needs to be established.
     
  5. Rose90

    Rose90 Experimental Member

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    I didn't ask him to date me..it happened..was not on my plains. Is not about being bisexual
    ,he was single ..and like a straight or gay person was free to date and do whatever he wanted..
    Before dating him i asked him if he wanted a monogamous relationship or not, just to tell me. I didn't force him into a relationship he didn't want. He is free to leave me and have fun!!!
    My only doubt was about the reality of is bisexuality,since I'm very confused..
    What I ask myself, am i doing any wrong trying to stay with him, maybe he doesn't accept his homosexuality, because i think
    think a bi person even if not monogamous, would still be intimate with his partner..
     
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  6. Rose90

    Rose90 Experimental Member

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    My limit maybe is not understand that, i find really hard to understand how a person can love and be in love with somone and to not want to make love to her/him.

    My confusion is about, is he really like you said, or he is simply gay, it is hard to doubt about a person who say " i really love you" when you are in love and want that to be the truth.
    I know you can't give me and answer..is just that talking to someone make me feel better..a little
     
  7. Rose90

    Rose90 Experimental Member

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    Yes i understand your point. It could be that. Sexuality comes in different shades, of course.
     
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  8. skeezer

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    Your right, if he is bisexual he would not have sexual problems with you. If you truly have feelings with your sexual partner, you get hard no matter what unless you have a medical condition.
     
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  9. TobiasTalon70

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    You may be right - he may be gay and just doesn’t know how to tell you. At the end of the day, you deserve to be with someone who will love you as you are, for you...body and soul...
     
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  10. someperson

    someperson Banned

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    jump ship he is not bisexual
     
    Rose90 likes this.
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