My body is weird...

Smaccoms

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I think that is part of the point. Humans are social creatures. Without the society we live, we would lack our humanity altogether. You cannot separate yourself from the the social structure, it is impossible. It is that structure which built and created your humanity in the first place.

The reason I gave the full background was because it gave context for the original post, and was therefore relevant. Also, people were asking for background so I gave it.

You speak of separating yourself from society and thinking of yourself as an individual not fulfilling any needs. This makes no sense to me. We exist through reference to others whether we like it or not. What is important is how we build an understanding and relation to the others around us. Empathy, intimacy, and social connection. These are the traits that matter, that are of utmost importance. If the relation to and understanding I have with others around is negative in of itself, how am I to build a self-identity that contradicts that? It doesn't make sense. I do like my body, and I have healthy self-identity. Here I am trying to extend that beyond the limited realms I have built that in to other people and men my own age. In this way, I can build on my self-identity to become even healthier and more adaptive than it was before.

Also, you view yourself as an individual with no connection to society to fulfill your healthy self-identity needs? This makes no sense to me, could you explain yourself?
 

B_subgirrl

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Smaccoms, one of my exes had a very similar body shape to you (bigger in the hips, and with what I used to refer to as 'tree trunk legs'), and I thought it was sexy as hell. There was (and is) nothing 'unmanly' about it at all (I think). Actually, I've had exes who ranged from very slim (and in a 'scrawny' way, not in an athletic way), all the way up to the ex with the tree trunk legs (he was actually bigger than you though - about 115kg). I saw every single one of them as manly and oh so fuckable. Body shape does NOT determine 'manliness' IMO.

On a personal level, IF you were interested in changing the overall appearance of your body (I'm not at all sure that IS something you are interested in), I would suggest wearing jeans or pants that are less tight and that sit a little higher. I know I have semi-permanent curvy bits just above and below where I wear my jeans. I believe the same thing could be happening with you. If you chose to wear your pants a little higher and/or less tight, I believe it would slightly reduce your appearance of being a bit 'hippy'. Again, that only matters if YOU are bothered by that particular aspect. If you aren't, there's no need to please anyone else. Anyone who would write you off because you have hips isn't worth your time of day IMO.
 

B_Nicodemous

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ooo a ton to write (we have an intelligent covo going with mrrocks, SC and myself and now my favorite person , Subgirrl has joined!) but i am beat! I will later (just got done with a post in another thread that took some time) but I will get back! I am finding the new direction of the thread interesting ass all hell:smile:
 

Smaccoms

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You're right sub-girl, if my "hips" cause them disinterest, that is their problem. I am interested in building a community that believes what you believe; manliness is not determined by body-type. Humans exist through the society we live in because human adapt culturally. No matter what people want to think, the categories we were taught in the society we grew up in form the baseline of our personal identities. This is why I want to manipulate the categories that work for me, rather than the other way around. I do not know why everyone keeps accusing me f being unhealthy and trying to separate myself from society at large instead. That expectation is impossible, and n my view unhealthy. We exist socially, not in isolation. If in all my social groups AND my society I am fat and disgusting, than that is what I am. I need to alter the communities I am in to believe something different; to believe what I believe but still works for those in my community.
 

Smaccoms

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At the same time it is a big leap to go from his origional post to the more complex post he later introduced.

I was giving context and background to my op which I did not give with it in the first place. That does not mean that I randomly added it now because I thought of it afterward. It was always a part of the process. So, in my mind I wasn't leaping from one thing to another in the least.