You may be OK with the boss, even if you get together every now and then.
However, the minefield you have put yourself in will materialize when you find out he has been screwing around with other staff members and everyone wants to be the boss’s favorite.
Of course I can't be sure, but I'm 99% sure that isn't the case with the other guys (obviously much less sure about the girls, but idc about that as long as he doesn't give me anything from them) bc he was pretty honest that he tried hooking up with another guy when he was younger, didn't like it, and hadn't tried again until last night. Even if that was the case, again, idc as long as he doesn't give me anything
UPDATE: We've been texting for the last hour, he's doing the "I can't believe I fucked a guy and liked it" thing, but as long as no one at work finds out (DUH), he's dtf 
It sounds like you need to engage the over ride of your big head over your little head and quickly. He is worried about the work place gossip mill starting, doesn't bode well for a good outcome. Now that he is sober he is having second thoughts about the hook up, and what it means between the two of you at work.
Mercurygirl
Superior Member
- Joined
- Mar 4, 2012
- Posts
- 3,528
- Media
- 0
- Likes
- 3,143
- Points
- 148
- Location
- Island of Misfit Toys
- Gender
- Female
- N68,
Dude, we could shake hands.
Ut-Oh!!>... I hope not.
UPDATE: We've been texting for the last hour, he's doing the "I can't believe I fucked a guy and liked it" thing, but as long as no one at work finds out (DUH), he's dtf
I'm intrigued. I confess to having the white dick fetish too. Or the universe just keeps putting these circumstances into my life.
That said, like most are saying, approach with caution.
At least sit back a bit and see if he bites when he's not boozed up.
Sometimes for some, the etoh can be the liquid courage it takes for them to initiate an otherwise awkward position.
It's hard to say.
Some guys just want sex with benefits, so be careful he's not taking advantage of you on both ends. (Pun intended).
- Joined
- May 3, 2013
- Posts
- 782
- Media
- 16
- Likes
- 2,922
- Points
- 363
- Location
- California (United States)
- Verification
- View
- Sexuality
- 69% Straight, 31% Gay
- Gender
- Male
Put the memory in your spank bank and quietly start looking for another job.
- Joined
- Jan 22, 2010
- Posts
- 1,057
- Media
- 0
- Likes
- 11,076
- Points
- 693
- Location
- Miami Beach
- Sexuality
- 90% Gay, 10% Straight
- Gender
- Male
I agree with most posters above. It's never a good idea to mix business with pleasure, especially as you work together, and he's your boss. Could be awkward for both of you going forward. I know you like him, but he holds the keys to the castle. If something turns bad, it can become awkward.
So you equate top with boss? If you do the fucking you're the boss and the person fucked is your subordinate?
Phil Ayesho
Superior Member
Well, Duh. Sure.
What do you think the term Subordinate refers to in sex play?
not to say that some folks might not mix that up... but the general dynamic is that the penetrator is seen as the more commanding and dominant role, and not only in gay sex.
Submissive women are not the ones wearing the strap on.
But to have your Boss be the sub would be really awkward at work. Flipping that dynamic in bed... not that it couldn't happen, I suppose... But for me, personally... it would be a far more natural fit if I was having sex with a professional subordinate for that person to be the sexual subordinate, as well... or if I was the one being dominated... I would prefer it be the person who was my boss at work... rather that my underling.
I guess I simply feel it would make the roles in the work environment not only more consistent and clear... it could actually factor in as foreplay.
I can't even imagine what it means when a guy hung like you calls somebody else's cock "HUGE"!
Hooking up with your straight boss is definitely in the top 3 sexual fantasies for many gay men, so first off, a huge congratulations from the team for getting to experience that one!
I think this could go many ways from here, most probably more bad than good. I think a big factor that hasn't come up is how much you have to interact with him and be his subordinate at work. The more you have to rely on his presence to do your job, the more risk there is. If you pretty much do your work independently and he just gives it the rubber stamp of approval and signs your time card, then I think the stakes are a lot lower.
If you decide to move forward with more, I would strongly suggest having some very candid, open, and honest communication with each other first. Figure out if you're open to it happening again, what your expectations are, and how to keep it from messing up your work relationship. For example, would you be prepared for him to come to you in a month after you've been fucking more and tell you that's it's become awkward for him and that he thinks you should look for another job? My belief is that solid communication is enough to work through almost any problem.
If you're not attached to your job and willing to take the risk of having to change jobs if it goes south, then why not. In the worst case, you'll have to find a new job and chalk up some solid life experience in the process and be the one giving the advice the next time a thread like this comes up.
So how big was he??!
Hooking up with your straight boss is definitely in the top 3 sexual fantasies for many gay men, so first off, a huge congratulations from the team for getting to experience that one!
I think this could go many ways from here, most probably more bad than good. I think a big factor that hasn't come up is how much you have to interact with him and be his subordinate at work. The more you have to rely on his presence to do your job, the more risk there is. If you pretty much do your work independently and he just gives it the rubber stamp of approval and signs your time card, then I think the stakes are a lot lower.
If you decide to move forward with more, I would strongly suggest having some very candid, open, and honest communication with each other first. Figure out if you're open to it happening again, what your expectations are, and how to keep it from messing up your work relationship. For example, would you be prepared for him to come to you in a month after you've been fucking more and tell you that's it's become awkward for him and that he thinks you should look for another job? My belief is that solid communication is enough to work through almost any problem.
If you're not attached to your job and willing to take the risk of having to change jobs if it goes south, then why not. In the worst case, you'll have to find a new job and chalk up some solid life experience in the process and be the one giving the advice the next time a thread like this comes up.
So how big was he??!
That suggests that men as penetrators are dominant and women (or gay bottoms) as penetrees are subordinates. No wonder Germaine Greer attacked this idea in the 70s: "Penetration by a male, whether of a woman or another man, is always an exercise in subjugation: ‘the penetree ... cannot rule."
Phil Ayesho
Superior Member
Greer or anyone else can attack all they want... but you simply can't change the dynamics of fucking.
One does the poking and the other takes it.
it is, for example, much harder to forcibly rape a person if you are trying to get them to penetrate you.
This basic biological reality can not help but be conflated with the simple evolutionary physics of the fact that women are, by and large, smaller and weaker than men- and that male behavior is evolved to provide physical and material protection to women and the children they bear, and so are significantly more aggressive and physically forceful... in ways that often get out of hand.
In my experience, gay men who prefer being penetrated tend to display greater feminine affect- and Gay men who prefer to dominate often show little to none. ( general trend- not to suggest that their are no outliers )
Gay fantasies of being penetrated by a 'straight' man essentially define 'straight' as being the male penetrator who will not be penetrated, and frequently involve fantasies of forcefulness and aggression.
And I can say that, in my one relationship with a woman who was sexually dominant, despite starting out with whips and collars... rather quickly evolved into her wanting to strap on a massive dildo and fuck me in the ass while she called me her bitch.
We more frequently had normative guy inside girl sex, too... but even then her fantasies and 'dirty talk' centered around the last time, or the next time she had or would fuck me in the ass.
So... despite the fact that I am sure some folks out there flip the script and manage to have the bottom dominate the penetrator...
For most folks, because of social conditioning and the actual experience of sex, the Top as Dom and the Bottom as Sub I think is the ingrained reaction.
I think that's pretty much what 2nd wave feminists tried to challenge - the notion that by virtue of biology men (the fuckers) are the bosses and women (the fucked) are their natural subordinates.
Phil Ayesho
Superior Member
first wave , too
And, hey, I have no problem with women as bosses.
I personally think the narrative of men as predators is false. I think women pick the men that they will fuck and they know perfectly well how to go about getting their interest.
I think women posses the actual power of seduction and men are largely just pawns they move around as they please... and that our society is actually a patrilocal matriarchy...
But I have to say that, if a woman is going to dominate me, sexually... the strap on really does it for me.
I actually had sex with a married female boss when I was a college co-op student. Things started innocent but one day we went to an amusement park together since she really liked them and her husband didn't. She came back to my place that was on the way home and one thing led to another and we had sex. It was honestly my first time but she didn't know that (and even when we totally broke up still didn't believe me that it was my first time since she said I did so well.) We actually had sex a few times at our place of work, which had a large basement that nobody ever went into. After I quit working for her a few years later she looked me up and actually moved in with me for awhile when she broke up with her husband. Of course our sexual fun started up again, even got engaged, but broke things off.
Wouldn't ever suggest it to anyone, to risky but I was a horny college kid "seduced" by a cougar.
Wouldn't ever suggest it to anyone, to risky but I was a horny college kid "seduced" by a cougar.
Similar threads
