My boyfriend is a bully - should I let him go?

[jones87]

Hi,

I have been with my (gay) partner for 18 months and we live together. He has been bullying me into a threesome for the last 12 months, I DO NOT WANT A THREESOME. He sends other men picture messages on his cell and has webcam wanks when i'm in work. I know I am too soft with him, because he is my first BF and I like his company along with my own apartment, but i do not like his temper or intimidating attitude.

I split up with him for 4 days because of this and he came crying back to me. But now he is back to his old self. As we speak there are rice crispies all over the room because I confronted him about the pic messages sent on his phone. He has bruised me before and it really hurt, all he ever does is pick things up such as cerial boxes or deogerant cans and throw them at me.

If I dump him that means I have hardly no friends, I will have to move back in with my mum and I will be lonely, thats what is stopping me splitting up with him for good

Has anybody else had similar experiences?

 

[novice_btm]

RUN!!! Abusive relationships typically escalate. More typically, he knows that he's "got" you, that you're afraid to leave, and thusly, he treats you like he wants to. You found him, you'll find another, and hopefully one that treats you how you deserve to be treated, and cares about YOU, and YOUR wants as well, in a mutual relationship. I know, it's hard to face being alone, but "bruises"? You REALLY shouldn't have to face THAT. Sorry to hear you're in such a tough place.

 

[pdsover]

You need to leave him and move on for your own well being and safety. The long term damage to your self esteem will negate anything he could give you.... I know this from friends and ex's that have gone through such experiences..

There are many more decent guys out there..learn from your mistakes..which I think staying with this guy would be a mistake

 

[Sassy88]

Yes I have.

Please don't settle for this kind of treatment because of fear of being alone. It will never be any different and all that wil happen is it will get worse and you will end up doing things you don't want to. You have every right to do what YOU want and nothing more.

Although the alternative of being on your own for a while may seem a worry to you now, there are so many loving, caring and considerate people around and you will meet someone who is more worthy of your comany.

x

 

[arliss]

you have to make our own decision....common sense will eventually prevail...and you will do whatever you feel is in your best interest..obviously the rice crispies and the deodorant cans are not bothering you..... enough:biggrin1::biggrin1:it always boggles my mind when someone posts that they are in a dangerous/abusive relationship and then asks 20,000 strangers to help determine their next move...basic human instinct should always prevail

 

[huw ginnit]

How good are these friends if they'd drop you if you aren't dating this shit, and I'm sorry but he sounds a shit to me. Pack the things you came with, and go to your Mum's. There is no shame in admitting that what you thought was a possibility didn't work out, but in the face of his manipulation, control and pressures, you have no other option.

Be brave, and help yourself out of this mess. He can't give you what you need; is looking for more than you want and isn't commiting himself to the relationship in the way you want him to.

The relationship you deserve might be waiting just round the corner and you're missing it with this wanker... take the chance on finding love,not taking his shit.

Good luck I wish you well.

 

[EdWoody]

Get out, get out now.

 

[Charles Finn]

yes get out mow
I went threw that from 18-23yo.
pack your stuff and run to the nearest exit your ride has ended.

 

[yhtang]

If I dump him that means I have hardly no friends, I will have to move back in with my mum and I will be lonely, thats what is stopping me splitting up with him for good

Dump him and you would "have hardly no friends"?

He is not quite what I would call a friend to start off with.

 

[arliss]

after careful consideration I think you should stay.....why put him out and move back with mum and be lonely.........you can always buy another box of rice crispies:redface:....and a left hook to the ribs is not as bad as it seems :wink:..what the hell:biggrin1::biggrin1: stay:smile::smile:

 

[B_dxjnorto]

Yeah, someone who treats you that way ain't no boyfriend. Ain't no friend at all.

 

[B_andyo]

find a good one?

 

[CUBE]

Good grief... What do YOU think a person should do in an abusive relationship??? Get out..if you don't get out then you must want the abuse to continue.

 

[Dave NoCal]

If you can find it, you should read Trauma and Recovery by Judith Herman. It describes perfectly the kind of situation you are beginning and where it's likely to lead (HInt: It's not good).
Dave

 

[arliss]

get yourself a box of Shredded Wheat and go at it......him with the Rice Crispies and you with the Shredded Wheat...a box of Carolina's rice also works well..have fun in this relationship...as long as you are going to stay...and leave mum alone ....she needs her privacy

 

[silvertriumph2]

Hey, buddy, drop him immediately and tell him to fuck off. No one should ever be forced into something that they don't want to do. He's a JERK.

 

[dickman45885]

Do Not Bother Kicking Him Out......move Out Yourself.....and Do Not Let Him Know Where You Are

 

[txquis]

I was in an LTR with someone with similar behavior...and i tried to give myself all sorts of excuses and justifications...When you find a guy who treats you the way you want to be treated (whatever that means to you), you will immediately know the difference, and will cringe that you stayed in something that was bad for you.