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I also told him that I would most likely NOT be becoming friends with his ex. And he said that is fine so long as I'm friend-LY towards him which I agreed to be. His ex technically hasn't done anything wrong. I only don't like him because of how my boyfriend reacts around him.
But hopefully things will get better. And I'm not a doormat and I do have enough self respect to leave if things don't change.
Hope for the best, but expect the worst.
Honestly, yes, his ex has done some wrong things. Your bf's ex is NOT respecting the boundaries of your relationship. If he had respect for those boundaries, he wouldn't be talking to your BF so much, especially while the two of you were trying to spend intimate time together. Yeah, your guy is enabling it, but the ex should know better.
I would be polite, and nothing more. And not all that friendly.
In all honesty, I don't see this ending well. Being friends with, or on friendly terms with an ex is one thing. Not respecting boundaries is another.