The point isn't that you should say nothing. Tell him you care about him and value your friendship. Just don't back him into a corner where he feels that he can't just be your friend. Good luck.
My Bromance
- Thread starter StolAdele101
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Like all of the great comments above, Be yourself! All of us here only know you.... we don't know him so we can only give advice as if we were in your situation. it is not as if we know both of you and can be like" yeah dude, go for it... you got this" There is a risk that this will not end well. You have to absorb this and make a decision with this taken into account.
The way I am beginning to see this is that you are already in a very loving relationship with him, It is just not sexual. Perhaps for now, just live the way you two have been living and love what you two share. IF.... you absolutely have to get this off your chest...... maybe approach it like this (not drunk by the way) "Listen.... I am Bisexual and you and I have a fantastic friendship and I cherish everything we share together but I need you to know that I have very strong feelings for you and if it is not reciprocal, that is totally fine...... I will leave it there and will never bring it up again. I just needed you to know what was going on with me seeing how we are best friends and all" OR........ just come out to him! "Hey man..... We are best friends and are super close so I wanted to let you know that I am Bisexual!... As my best friend I think you deserve to know"
Are you two moving to the city together, as in moving in together?
The way I am beginning to see this is that you are already in a very loving relationship with him, It is just not sexual. Perhaps for now, just live the way you two have been living and love what you two share. IF.... you absolutely have to get this off your chest...... maybe approach it like this (not drunk by the way) "Listen.... I am Bisexual and you and I have a fantastic friendship and I cherish everything we share together but I need you to know that I have very strong feelings for you and if it is not reciprocal, that is totally fine...... I will leave it there and will never bring it up again. I just needed you to know what was going on with me seeing how we are best friends and all" OR........ just come out to him! "Hey man..... We are best friends and are super close so I wanted to let you know that I am Bisexual!... As my best friend I think you deserve to know"
Are you two moving to the city together, as in moving in together?
ttmax
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Have you considered an MFM threesome as a means of being in close proximity sexually, but without necessarily making it an overtly bi threesome? Finding a female may be a bit of an ask, but you could hire an escort who is willing to service two guys. If you watch porn together, choose the occasional threesome and suggest that trying something like that would be really hot.
Update:
Sooooooo I’m the happiest person alive todaaay....
When we were camping, nothing happened, we slept together in the tent all the basic stuff we can possibly do.. nothing else happened. I didn’t have a chance to confess my feelings cus we were in a rush.. so i did wait. And nothing happened.. I kinda felt in love with him even more..
And on his birthday, he called me out, no one else, only me and him, to spend the evening with him. I didn’t expect that. We bought wine and snacks, and we went far away from the city. We chatted for hours.. We were kinda drunk but still sober, and we confessed our feelings to each other but not directly.. He told me that he can love someone but not tell them, he can keep that to him self because sometimes it would be better to keep that to yourself.. We did cry a little bit, cus we are scared if we dont hang out after 5 years or 10 years or 20 years. But we did promise to each other that no matter what, we are going to text each other everyday. He also said that he never had a friend like me, and that he never wants to lose me. He said a lot of stuff like this.. alsooo the highlight was when he said that: “if someone tells you I love you, it can cause a confusion “.. i think i now what he means by that.... After, we hugged, I hugged him with all my power and love and he did.. i live for this types of moments.. and also, all of our friends ship us, they are calling us gay, (they are joking of course) and when we out the whole “gang”, he kinda ignores me just because of this. So everything we do, it’s between us and no one knows about the days and nights we spend with each other...
And now i ask my self, (and you) what now?
Sooooooo I’m the happiest person alive todaaay....
When we were camping, nothing happened, we slept together in the tent all the basic stuff we can possibly do.. nothing else happened. I didn’t have a chance to confess my feelings cus we were in a rush.. so i did wait. And nothing happened.. I kinda felt in love with him even more..
And on his birthday, he called me out, no one else, only me and him, to spend the evening with him. I didn’t expect that. We bought wine and snacks, and we went far away from the city. We chatted for hours.. We were kinda drunk but still sober, and we confessed our feelings to each other but not directly.. He told me that he can love someone but not tell them, he can keep that to him self because sometimes it would be better to keep that to yourself.. We did cry a little bit, cus we are scared if we dont hang out after 5 years or 10 years or 20 years. But we did promise to each other that no matter what, we are going to text each other everyday. He also said that he never had a friend like me, and that he never wants to lose me. He said a lot of stuff like this.. alsooo the highlight was when he said that: “if someone tells you I love you, it can cause a confusion “.. i think i now what he means by that.... After, we hugged, I hugged him with all my power and love and he did.. i live for this types of moments.. and also, all of our friends ship us, they are calling us gay, (they are joking of course) and when we out the whole “gang”, he kinda ignores me just because of this. So everything we do, it’s between us and no one knows about the days and nights we spend with each other...
And now i ask my self, (and you) what now?
We are moving in together.
ttmax
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Congratulations on finding out that he still feels as strongly for you as ever. Just don't mention the L word!
In the short term, maybe you should bank what you have. Allow yourselves to settle in together in your new home and see what happens.
Given his reassurances to you, you could allow him to make the next move. If you enjoy what you have at the moment, the next phase may happen spontaneously, without you having to follow a strategy of trying to make it happen. Just relax and enjoy the present.
In the short term, maybe you should bank what you have. Allow yourselves to settle in together in your new home and see what happens.
Given his reassurances to you, you could allow him to make the next move. If you enjoy what you have at the moment, the next phase may happen spontaneously, without you having to follow a strategy of trying to make it happen. Just relax and enjoy the present.
That is fantastic! I am extremely happy for you. One thing is a bit foggy here. So he told you that he has feelings for you or are you just hearing that? and if so, did you tell him you loved him? I don't want to play devil's advocate here but it may seem (to me anyhow) that there is a lot left to interpretation. Was anything discussed in terms of changing the dynamics of your current relationship? Did you two come out to each other? Whats going on here... where am I? My head hurts...LOL
TrueB2
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I've been following this thread for a little while, and. . .I'm crying. Haha, really happy for you!!
So if you like, i would go into details..
On his birthday he called me, around 9pm and told me to get ready fast cus we are going out and he didn’t told me where, he only said that the place that we are going to visit is very interesting . I was little shooked and cus I didn’t expected that...from him... so i got dressed and after 10 minutes i left my home.
When we met, he wore a hoodie and i knew it that we are going to be under black sky. he had already bought two botles of wines and some snacks. And he told me that he is taking me somewhere intersting so I trusted him. We were walking for almost 1 hour and all we did is talked the whole time.. and when we got to our final destination i stoped breathing cus the place was.. it was the place i begged him to come with me.. you could see the town and the skyscrapers , the stars, and the mountains.. it was kinda romantic i guess..
So we sit down on the grass, we opened the bottles, and then we started drinking. We looked the stars for a half an our or maybe even more.. then We started of by talking about how we meet, about the first memory we had from each other, what we thought about each other and etc etc.. then we got even deeper, we talked about our families, how we lost our loved ones. We were so open to each other. Then we started talking about our friends..
Aaand thats when we started talking about us.. it started with our confession about how much we appreciate each other. He said that he never had a friend like me, and that he never wants to lose me. He talked about how lonely was he before he met me. I filled him. Thats what he told. He told me also that he cares a lot for me.. like a lot. Remember the bracelet I bought him. It was diy braclet. On a silver braclet i put a small “coin”...few days later (after i give him the braclet) he looked everywhere to buy a same bracelet for me, so we would have the same one.. when he was talking about this, i saw sparkles in his eyes.. And he told me that, while he was looking for the bracelet, someone told him that the coin was so rare to find. Anddd thats the moment when i kock by saying that, he is also rare to find.
))) he smiled sweetly.. when the wine kicked even more, we started to talk even more about us... we opened even more about our feelings. He told me that i love is not an easy sentence to say. And then he said that: if someone tells you that they love, it can confusion ... i think i know what he mesnt by that. I didn’t say directly that i love him, but i did by telling like: i love you bro... I didn’t confess about my deep feelings i had for him. We talked for hours I don’t even remember what I’ve said nor I remember what he said anymore... but in conclusion he said a lot of stuffs and they were “i love you ( but i cant )”...
At the end when we finished, we packed the bottles and then we started walking home. While walking I hugged him. I said: stop dude, and hugged him with all my feelings i have for him.. he did also. It was the most beautiful five minutes of my life.. I’ve never felt more secured in a hug..
Now im so confused.. like tell me which straight friend would do something like this.. i only ask myself, what now?????????
On his birthday he called me, around 9pm and told me to get ready fast cus we are going out and he didn’t told me where, he only said that the place that we are going to visit is very interesting . I was little shooked and cus I didn’t expected that...from him... so i got dressed and after 10 minutes i left my home.
When we met, he wore a hoodie and i knew it that we are going to be under black sky. he had already bought two botles of wines and some snacks. And he told me that he is taking me somewhere intersting so I trusted him. We were walking for almost 1 hour and all we did is talked the whole time.. and when we got to our final destination i stoped breathing cus the place was.. it was the place i begged him to come with me.. you could see the town and the skyscrapers , the stars, and the mountains.. it was kinda romantic i guess..
So we sit down on the grass, we opened the bottles, and then we started drinking. We looked the stars for a half an our or maybe even more.. then We started of by talking about how we meet, about the first memory we had from each other, what we thought about each other and etc etc.. then we got even deeper, we talked about our families, how we lost our loved ones. We were so open to each other. Then we started talking about our friends..
Aaand thats when we started talking about us.. it started with our confession about how much we appreciate each other. He said that he never had a friend like me, and that he never wants to lose me. He talked about how lonely was he before he met me. I filled him. Thats what he told. He told me also that he cares a lot for me.. like a lot. Remember the bracelet I bought him. It was diy braclet. On a silver braclet i put a small “coin”...few days later (after i give him the braclet) he looked everywhere to buy a same bracelet for me, so we would have the same one.. when he was talking about this, i saw sparkles in his eyes.. And he told me that, while he was looking for the bracelet, someone told him that the coin was so rare to find. Anddd thats the moment when i kock by saying that, he is also rare to find.
))) he smiled sweetly.. when the wine kicked even more, we started to talk even more about us... we opened even more about our feelings. He told me that i love is not an easy sentence to say. And then he said that: if someone tells you that they love, it can confusion ... i think i know what he mesnt by that. I didn’t say directly that i love him, but i did by telling like: i love you bro... I didn’t confess about my deep feelings i had for him. We talked for hours I don’t even remember what I’ve said nor I remember what he said anymore... but in conclusion he said a lot of stuffs and they were “i love you ( but i cant )”...At the end when we finished, we packed the bottles and then we started walking home. While walking I hugged him. I said: stop dude, and hugged him with all my feelings i have for him.. he did also. It was the most beautiful five minutes of my life.. I’ve never felt more secured in a hug..
Now im so confused.. like tell me which straight friend would do something like this.. i only ask myself, what now?????????
Hahahah, my head shakes even mooooreee... yes he did but not directly.. and yes i did but not directly ( what i mean by directly, is that we didn’t come out to each other ). We didn’t talk about our relationship, but we promised to each other that we are going to talk until death. Trust me.. when We are with our friends he kinda ignores me, cus they all ship us.. and look what he is doing.
Basically the most gayest thing ever..
That is AMAZING! I am so happy for you. Now (in my opinion) you have to let things evolve naturally. you both seem to be in a really good place right now. He may be in the same situation as you are and does not want to jeopardize anything with making a move. If this is the case, I believe that it will eventually happen. May be tomorrow night, take him on a last minute get away. Just ride the high you are feeling and continue to stay true to yourself. Out of curiosity, where is it that he took you on his birthday? Being from Toronto, I'm dying to know
ttmax
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I'm happy for you both in moving things forward in terms of clarity and mutual understanding. He and you are definitely soul mates, with a relationship which has a solid foundation, but at the moment he is hesitant about ascribing such a strong description as love to what you have.
It looks like you are both taking the same direction of travel, but at differing speeds, so I would recommend enjoying what you have (and now know that you have, which is progress) and allow him the space to do so also.
The next move forwards may happen when you don't expect it, so don't over-think things - relax and enjoy what's already in the bank of bromance!
It looks like you are both taking the same direction of travel, but at differing speeds, so I would recommend enjoying what you have (and now know that you have, which is progress) and allow him the space to do so also.
The next move forwards may happen when you don't expect it, so don't over-think things - relax and enjoy what's already in the bank of bromance!
Would you like to share your experience and how did it ended?
I never comment or like anything here, but damn this reply is really well put
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