My Brother's Friend

[latinlov]

Chapter 1​

Well let me start this story telling you something about myself my name is Jason I’m 18 and freshmen in college and I come from a family of professionals so yeah I have a lot of pressure to do well in college. My brother and I have the same color of skin tan which I don’t regret having. I have color eyes and short brown hair. In my physical in my years of high school I was on the cross country team and I guess I’m in pretty good shape. So enough about me let get back to the story.

My brother Robert, his friend Joe, and myself attend the same college but I avoid contact with both of them as much as possible in my daily life. However, in summer vacation I really didn’t have any luck. When I arrive home I walked in the doors of the all-too familiar room and let out a relieved sigh as I dropped my suitcase and bags to the floor and breathed in the scent of the house I’ve lived in my entire life. After a few seconds of blissful nostalgia, my concentration was broke by a violent embrace curtsey of my overbearing mother. After all the "Welcome back's" and "how are you?'s"

As I walked my way to the kitchen I spotted my brother Rob sitting across the table from his best friend Joe. I stood there admire the beauty in Joe. But I could see much of him the good parts because he was sitting in the opposite side. So let me tell you something about Joe he is a year older than me, about 6’3”, short brown hair, athletic, blue eyes, and the most amazing bubble butt. After I greeted my brother and Joe I went to sit next to Joe and we started eating dinner and telling stories about college.

About midnight, I was so tired I proceeded to my bedroom to go to sleep. As I passed the upstairs bathroom the door was half way open I peek a little and it was Joe, wearing just his underwear staring at himself in the mirror. I didn’t even notice how long I notice because before I knew it the door slam at me hitting my face. He open the door. What are you looking up? He barked.

“I…I justtt…”

“Just what?”

“I was just on my way to my room.” I replied calmly

“You were probably checking me out! You piece of shit!” he yelled and busted in laughter.

“Oh yeah jackass I was, it’s because you’re just so sexy Joe!” I said with a girly accent and walk away from him and enter my room.

Phew I thought to myself. That was to close, I’d have to be more careful around here with him close to me I have to keep out my eyes wandering around from now on. As I lied on my bed, all I could think about was Joe and his beautiful body. I went over every detail of his body in my head before could stop, my dick was hard with an erection. I slid my hands down my body pleasuring myself. I slid my boxers down and started to jack-off. I began pick up speed and I knew with my thoughts about Joe beautiful body within minutes, I exploded all over my ab’s and pecks. I licked my fingers clean until there were any cum in my body. By then I was exhausted, and I slowly close my eyes.

I as sleep I heard the door open. I close my eyes curious on who might be and what they wanted. I heard footsteps approaching and stood there on the corner of my bed. I pretended to be asleep and shifted positions. I heard a movement and then, I felt a hand rub against my ass. I couldn’t believe what was going on. I open my eyes the tiniest bit, just enough to see Joe, standing naked, leaning against my body and ass. I heard him sniffing around my ass. Then, something that I have always dreamed off was happening he spread my ass cheeks I guess he like it because he never stop. I decided to let him play a little bit longer until I decided to make my consciousness know, because I knew I didn’t want this to end soon, as he licked my hole, I shifted my hand and began pushing harder down into my ass, nuzzling his face into it. I clearly startled him, because he jerked his head up and stared into my eyes.

“Don’t you fucking dare to stop” I said to him, and he nuzzled back into my ass once again.

I was so fucking horny I needed more. I turned over and pulled his face up to mine and stated kissing him. It seemed to take him by surprise, but he soon relaxed and I explored every inch of his amazing body. I was so absorbed in him, I didn't even stop to think that it couldn't possibly be happening. Joe was straight, this I thought I knew for sure. But I didn't care, I was going to enjoy every second I had embraced with him.

I guess Joe was just as horny as I was, and he got more aggressive with every passing minute. But I wasn't complaining as he shoved my head down to his crotch. I thrusted my face into his tight white briefs. His dick, not to my surprise, was huge. It had to be at least 8 inches. I thrashed off the briefs with one swift movement and dived onto his awaiting cock. I had never sucked a dick as big as his, but I was determined to get as much of him in my mouth as possible. I got about 6 inches down my throat as I sucked up and down his beautiful shaft. I grabbed his dick and massaged it as I sucked on his sweaty balls and soon went back to sucking.

"Holy fuck that feels so fucking good." he half moaned.

I knew he was close, but I couldn't stop myself from sucking him. And as he grabbed my hair and shoved my head into his dick, I knew he was about to cum.

"Oh fuck Jason, I'm going to cum if you don't stop." he yelled.

His words were telling me to stop, but his hands were compelling me to keep going. I wanted him to cum in my mouth. I wanted to taste his cum. So I continued suck and massaged his dick as I went up and down. In about 5 seconds, he exploded, and his hot load shot down my throat and I swallowed every drop with bliss.

After that, he panted for a minute or two and then pulled my face up to his and pulled me into a long passionate kiss. He massaged my ass as we kissed, and playfully slapped it. He pulled out of the kiss and smiled at me. The most amazing smile you've ever seen. I grabbed my dick and started stroking, staring into his bright blue eyes and within 20 seconds, I came all over his washboard abs. I looked at him in an apologetic manner, but he rubbed the cum all over his chest, and pulled me into an even more passionate kiss. Every few seconds, I would burst into a huge smile as he kissed me.

Then, to my surprise, he picked up his briefs and walked out of my room. He never looked back. And I just knelt on my knees in my bed and watched the door as he shut it tight. I didn't sleep at all that night.

I didn’t know what tomorrow was going to be like but I had a terrible felling in my gut.

 

[baldyboy8000]

How long before chapter 2. Very good

 

[outdoorsguy23]

good story dude, keep going

 

[latinlov]

here is chapter 2

Chapter 2​

After a long night thinking about Joe, I arose from my bed, and made my way downstairs. I wasn’t the first one awake, as my mother standing over the stove, cooking breakfast. I walked over and gave her a warm hug. I felt terrible for my mother, being here home alone without a man. “How are you mom?” I asked.

“I’m just find, Jason. I’m doing great as therapist it keeps me busy.” She replied.

“That’s great, mom! It’s good that you’re getting out of the house.” I smiled

My parents divorce during my last year of high school. It’s been a though transition for all of us, but it was harder for her.

I heard footsteps coming down the stairs, and out from the corner my brother Rob followed slowly by Joe. I’ve never felt so unimportant or insignificant than when my met Joe, and he quickly looked away. “What’s for breakfast mom?” asked Rob.

“French toast and eggs, sweetie. Goon and sit down.” She replied

My brother sat a seat away from me leaving the seat in the middle left for Joe. He stood motionless as Rob sat down. “Go ahead and sit down Joe! As if you’ve ever been shy about eating a meal in my house.” She laughed.

Joe practically crept into the seat next to me. His eyes did make contact with mine once again. Mom distributed our plates and less than a minute Joe punches Robert and said, “Let’s go play some videogames man” Rob quickly finished and they made their way into the living room. I continue looking down at my plate.

“What’s wrong honey?” asked mom.

“Nothing mom, just tired that all. I didn’t sleep much last night.” I replied.

“Well honey why don’t you go and play with you brother and Joe?” she prodded
“No thanks, I’m going to my room and call some friends” I said as I rose and rushed upstairs. Before I reached the stairs I ran into Joe and felt into his arms. He let me go and we both stood in front of each other and I refused to let this go any longer unspoken.

“What the fuck was that? I asked harshly

“What are you talking about, Jason? He replied quickly.

“You know what I mean last night.” I beckoned

“Oh.. That was nothing, Jason forget about it pretend it never happen.” He said as he attempted to brush past me. I quickly stopped him, placing my hands on his shoulders.

“Bullshit. That kind of thing doesn’t just happen. I felt something when you...” he interrupted me

“Shut the fuck up, Jason, it was nothing, I’m not a fag. It was nothing.” He left without another word to say.

I just stood there. I felt that I was going too died. This wasn’t just my dick talking. I knew I fell something last night. I knew that what happen was much, much more than nothing. I proceed upstairs, and lied down in my bed, facing the ceiling. I sat there for hours, just thinking.

 

[offering251]

comn! This is way to hot to stop here!

 

[latinlov]

Chapter 3​

The next few weeks were the longest and probably the worse of my entire life. Joe move in with us because a fight between him father and him. He practically lived here already, so it didn’t make much of difference. Joe never looked at me. He only spoke to me when necessary. And when, by chance, our eyes meet, I could see sadness and regret he was feeling.

I keep telling myself it was only one night. We didn’t even have sex. It was nothing. Stop thinking this way I would never happen again. But no matter how much I tried, I couldn’t convince myself that the pain I felt in my chest every time I looked into his blue eyes was nothing.

I spend most of my time with old friend, catching up, hanging out, and going to parties, and enjoying myself. But one night, I was at a party at my friend Gilbert’s house. There had to be hundreds of people. His giant house consisted of countless rooms, but the majority of the people were at the kitchen, by the pool, and the massive room in the middle of his house.

I had a few drinks and was feeling little dizzy. I wondered by myself into a dark hallway. I could faintly hear a strange sound. I followed my ears to find the source of the noise. As I got closer, I made the sound out to me someone throwing up. I peeked into the bathroom, door wired open, where the sound was coming from. And the last person I wanted to see this planet, was Joe, on his knees, hurling chunks into a toilet. As I stood there, I saw him almost pass out onto the bathroom floor. I couldn’t just leave him there.

I could tell that he plastered. I kneeled beside him and rubbed his back until finish. After he was through, I put his arm around my shoulder and carried him into the nearest bedroom. I sat him on the end of the bed and attempted to walk away. But as I turned around, he grabbed my arm. Barely audible, I heard him say “No, don’t go. Please stay.” I close my eyes and decided that I couldn’t stay. But I couldn’t stop myself. I sat down next to him and he leaned his head against my shoulder.

“You should sleep, Joe.” I asked.

“No…I…I..I’m sorry Jason.” He slurred.

“You have nothing to be sorry for. Just go to sleep Joe. You’re drunk” I begged. He looked at me directly in the eyes with his penetrating blue eyes. As cliché as it sounds, my heart melted onto the floor as I gazed into those eyes.

“Don’t go. Pr.. Promise to stay.” He slurred again and leaned his face to mine.

“Joe Stop it” I said as move my head, his lips pressing against my cheek. I wasn’t going kiss him like this. As much as I wanted him, he was wasted, he didn’t know what he was doing. I pushed his head off of my shoulder. “Go to sleep, Joe”

“No… Not until you promise me to stay here with me in the bed.” He begged.

“I can’t Joe. As much I want to stay here with you, I can’t.” I said

“Why can you?” he ask.

“I don’t want to get hurt again. I don’t want this to happen again.”

“I promise it won’t happen again.” He said in a passionate way. “I love you so much Jason. I have always been in love with you every since Robert introduce you to me”

I sat there speechless could this be really happening is Joe really in love with me. Maybe he is to drunk and he is saying this stupid thinks without thinking about them.

“I.. I don’t know what to say Joe I’m speech less. Joe go to sleep we talk about this tomorrow.” I said to him.

I pulled him and laid him down, his head onto the pillow and sat next to him, leaning against the headboard. He lied there facing me, I was exhausted, and my eyes began to droop. I forced myself to stay away, as Joe lied there, mumbling that he love me as he began to drift into sleep. I looked at his somber face as he fell asleep and my eyes began to fall, and, as hard as I tried not to, I fell asleep leaning against the headboard with Joe next to me

 

[jbstile]

What a great start!! Keep it going, love the story..

 

[gayisch1]

Shit this is so good!!!

 

[latinlov]

Chapter 4​

Three months had pass seen that day at the party Joe told me that he love me. I was back to college I was excited to go back because the studies would keep me away on thinking about Joe.
I was excited to go to this class because I hear that this professor was good and teaches well. For your information the class was government and the professor name is Mr. Fuller.

I was the first one in class. His class was enormous I thought to myself this class might me full so I sat on the second row to the right. By ten minutes the class was getting full. Some of the people I knew from last year but nobody sat next to me because I was so close in front. But I didn’t care. When all of the sudden Joe walk into the class. Oh my god I can’t believe this is happening to me.

“Hi there Jason. Do you have this class?” he ask.

“That is why I’m sitting here Joe” I told him giggling.

“Do you might if I sit next to you?” he asks nervously.

“No not at all. Here sit I move my stuff to the other sit.”

“Can I ask you a question?” he ask nervous.
\
“yeah sure”

“H… Have you ever lo..” he look away from me.

“Have you ever what Joe?” asking him nervously even though I knew what his question was.

“God dam it why is so hard to say this. Ok. My question is. Have you ever been in love with someone that is the same gender as you?”

“I…um.. yeah.”I said.

He just stood there look like he was about to leave but he didn’t. So the rest of the day was hearing the professor talk about the class and then we took a lot of notes, Took me four pages of notes, my hand hurt a lot when I write to fast I was just trying to keep up with the professor. It was time to leave. I got up before anyone in the room, when I got out Joe grab me by my hand.

“Look Jason” he said.

“Ouch. What the fuck Joe what is your problem.” I said furiously.

“Sorry I didn’t meant to hurt you. Sorry forgive me.”

“I forgive you but don’t do it again.” I said. “What do you want to tell me.”

“Yes. Are you free this weekend?” He move to my right next to me so he could let other people walk.

“No I don’t think so. Why?”

“Well we don’t have class Thursday, Friday, and we have Saturday, and Sunday. And I Thought I wanted to invite you to go out with me to a little vacation to my lake house in Florida.”

“I don’t know let me think about it ok. I call you later Ok.”

“Ok see you around”

What to think about I totally wanted to spend the whole week with him. But something in my head was telling me not to go that it might be a mistake and I was gonna get hurt from that vacation. But I didn’t care I was to spent 24/7 with the guy that I always have a crush on.

Later that day it was around 9:30 pm, when I decided to call Joe. That I was going to go with him. I grab my phone and dial his phone number. “Hello”

“Hi Joe is me. Jason”

“So what do you think?”

“I think I have to pass. I’m not that comfortable on traveling.”

“What?”

“Fool you yes. I’m going with you “

“You Bitch. I was about to cry”

“So when do we leave”

“Tomorrow at noon. Is what ok. If is not let me know so I could change it.”

“No that ok”

“Ok good so see you tomorrow at your dorm ok bye”

“bye” I hang up. And went straight to my dorm and started packing, by the time I finish it what all ready 11:00 pm. Then I went to take a bath and went straight to my bed. I didn’t woke up till nine at the morning as usual. I went to get coffee and some donuts. Three more hours until my vacation with Joe. I was looking forward for the vacation just me and him all alone in his lake house.

So I didn’t have anything to do so I went to my dorm and took a little nap. But I slept for hours, because I hear somebody knocking at m door. “Come in.” the door open and it was him all ready to go.

“Ready”

“Yes sir”

“Shall be”

”Let go then” I said all excited.

We arrive at the airport 30 minutes later. We just have to wait like 29 minutes more because there was something wrong with the motor. But then they said that it was fine and we all went to the plane. I hated planes. I was so scared that I grab Joe’s hand and squeeze it hard enough to hear him say to let him go.

“Relax, Jason, everything is ok.”

“Thanks”

“No problem”

We didn’t spoke for the next two hours because I felt asleep. When I woke up I saw Joe staring at me with those big blue eyes I felt so much in love with him more.

“What are you looking at?”

“At you”

“Why?”

“I watch you felt asleep and by then you I heard you mumbling how you love me.”

I turn red and look away and I thought to myself fuck why did I said that. I bet he all freak out and he doesn’t want to be with me anymore.

“Look at me Jason”

I turn around I stare at his eyes and he got closer to me and gave me a passionate kiss in the lips
We kiss long enough that I notice he had a boner between his legs. He broke us apart and said “Jason would you like to be my boyfriend”

 

[uncut702]

WOW! Please continue.

 

[Luvs2Squirt]

Eagerly awaiting the next chapter!!!!

 

[latinlov]

Chapter 5
“So what do you say? Would you be my boyfriend?”

“I…Yes Joe I be your boyfriend, you lover, and your partner.”

He gave me another kiss but this time it was much different than the other kiss. It was warm and with more passion. He surely knows how to kiss it was the best kiss I have ever had in my entire life.

We arrive to the airport in Florida. By the look of it the view was beautiful. When we got to the exit this person was waiting for us and took our bags and put them away. So we got in and staring talking.

“I didn’t know you were rich, babe”

“I think nobody knew I didn’t even tell rob about this either.”

“What kind of friend are you?”

He laughs and looks away. Down the drive way I could see the house. There were many houses around I think it was like private or something. When we enter the inside was so beautiful all the furniture was well selected. He shows me around the house and telling me were everything located.

“So what do we do?” I said curiously

“Let go to our rooms.”

I follow him behind and went up to the stairs. I notice a lot of pictures as we are going up. But one of them remind me of Joe. He look exactly as his father but his eyes he got them from his mother but everything else from his father. The next few pictures were about his brother and sister.

“That’s my oldest sister her name is Jennifer and that’s my younger brother Jonathan.” He said as he saw me standing there looking at them.

“You look exactly as your father.”

“I get that a lot.”

“Every time I look at the mirror, I see my father.” His voice had gotten shaky. “Come on, I’ll show you the rest of the house.”

I follow him down the hallway and into a spare bedroom.

“This is my brother’s bedroom. You can stay here.”

“ok.”

“Do you wanna go swimming?”

“Okay sounds good.”

We both laughed as we headed down the stairs and through the living room to the backyard. There wasn’t a lot of property in the back of the house since a majority of it was dedicated to the front of the house allowing the it to be secluded from the road. There was enough room for a large pool, a small pool house off a good sized patio, and a little grass between the pool and the water. There was also a dock off the property and had a large boat docked next to it. A jet ski was resting on the other side of the dock.

“So I was thinking we go jet skiing first and then go in the pool. You know, to get the salt water off our bodies in case we fall off.”

“There’s only one though.”

“No shit Sherlock. You’ll have to go on behind me and hold on.”

“This one should fit you, it’s my sisters.” He said jokingly.

“Thanks…”

Joe took his tank top off and I was now able to see everything. His abs were just as amazing as I pictured them to be. He definitely had washboard abs and he also had the “V” as a lot of people call it. His pectorals were also just what I pictured. They were both huge and rounded over and just looked amazing. They met in the middle of his chest and he had a perfect line between them that ran straight into his abs. His shoulders were much broader than I originally thought. I didn’t know that a guy could form that much muscle on his shoulders and back until I saw Joe’s body. Everywhere a guy could develop muscle, Joe had it. His body was just incredible, and he barely had any hair on it. Except for a few things of hair here and there, he was hairless. It all came to an end too quickly as Joe buckled his life jacket into place.

“Having trouble there, Jason?”

“Yeah, a little.” I couldn’t get the buckles to go together.

“Here let me help.”
He walked over to me and was so close I could feel him breathing on me. His big hands fumbled with the buckles and snapped them in place without much trouble. He then pulled the straps so the life vest was tight around my body. When he was done, he looked at me and smiled. Right then and there, I wanted to just grab him and kiss him. Everything about him made me go insane for him and I just wanted to taste him. I knew it would end horribly so I fought every erg I had to kiss his lips.

“Thanks.”

“No problem. Now lets get going before it gets too late and the water gets rough.”

He hopped on the jet ski first, moved all the way forward, and flicked the switch to start it. The engine roared loudly at first, but died down a bit as it ran for awhile. He then patted the seat behind him signaling for me to join. I flung my right leg over the jet ski as I brought my left on the little ledge off the side of the seat. I sat all the way at the back as far away from him as I could.

“If you sit all the way back there, the waters gonna hit you the whole ride and you’re probably going to fall off.” He made himself comfortable on it and moved back a little. “Now move up and grab hold of my waist.”

I moved forward to him so my knees were on either side of his body. I didn’t know where to wrap my arms around him and hesitated where to put them.

“Here” He reached around himself, grabbed both of my arms and wrapped them around his torso. “Now hold on.”

I was so close to him that I was able to smell the shampoo he used to wash the small amount of hair he had on his head. It wasn’t fruity or flowery or anything, but manly. It had a deep masculine scent to it and it drove me crazy. I wanted to place my nose to his head and just inhale deeply but I restrained myself from doing that too. I also got a scent of the cologne he was wearing. This was more of a sweet soft scent but was still manly and powerful.

Without warning, he gave the Jet Ski some gas and it jumped forward. I almost fell off and instantly grabbed him tighter. I heard him laugh a little which gave me some comfort in the situation. Everything was going fine until I realized that my crotch was only inches away from his prefect round ass. My dick began to fill up with blood and formed a full on hard-on. I’m pretty sure he couldn’t feel it digging into him because it was being compressed by my underwear, but I wasn’t positive.

He then made a sharp turn and my left hand slipped and landed in the crotch of his bathing suit. It wasn’t there long but I defiantly felt something hard and long in his bathing suit. He definitely had a boner in his shorts as well and it made me think a little. There really wasn’t any vibration going through the Jet Ski that a motorcycle has, yet he still had a hard-on, just like me. Yeah, we were bumping up and down on the seat, but I doubt that was enough friction to give someone an erection.

As I was thinking about all of this, he made another sharp turn and flung both of us off the Jet Ski. I did some sort of summersault thing and landed on my back as I hit the water. The water made a loud noise as I hit it and rushed into my face. I didn’t swallow any of it nor did any get in my nose, but it did get in my eyes. As I was rubbing my eyes and trying to not drown, Joe came by on the Jet Ski and picked me up with his right arm.

“Sorry about that. I thought you saw what I was doing and was ready for it. I guess I caught you unexpectedly.”

“It’s fine. Just give me a heads up next time.”

“Will do, but I think I’m going to call it quits for the day. The water’s already choppy and I don’t want to be out here that much longer.”

 

[latinlov]

I grabbed back onto him as he started steering it back to the dock. We were actually pretty far out from the rocks and had a decent ride back to shore. My hard-on went away when we hit the cool water and I tried thinking of other things to get my mind off of Joe and his body. Before I knew it, we were back at his dock and on dry land once again. He took his life jacket off and waited for me to give him mine. When both were in hand he threw them on the deck of the boat and ran towards the pool. He made a huge splash in it and the water came over the sides onto the patio.

“Come on in, the water’s actually warm.”

I didn’t run like him or make a huge splash into the pool. I sat on the edge and just dropped myself in. I dunked myself underwater completely to get all the saltwater off my body and out of my hair. When I came back up, Joe was standing right in front of me.

“You have really nice eyes.” He was standing so close again that I could feel his breath on my skin again.

“Thanks, my mom has blue eyes.”

Before I knew it, Joe was moving his head closer to mine as if he was going to kiss me. I decided to go along with it to see how it would play out, and to my luck he kissed me. It wasn’t a sloppy tongue to tongue kiss, but a quick curious kiss. I kissed him back and he started to get into it a little more. He became more passionate to it as his lips danced with mine. His lips were soft and wet from the water and warm from his body heat. Although he looked like a big tough guy, his lips were softer than the few girls I have hooked up with.

We went back inside and went to our rooms and took a shower. Out of nowhere Joe was standing outside the bathroom and waiting for me to get out. When I got and dry myself. I went to my bed and Joe lay against the headboard.

“Can I hold you?” He asked.

“Why?”

“I don’t know. I just want to hold you.”

“Sure.”

He propped himself up leaning against the headboard and spread his legs open. I crawled in between them and laid back against his body. I rested my head against his right pectoral. He then wrapped his strong arms around me, rested his chin on the top of my head, and just held me.

“I like this.”

“Yeah, me too.”

The one thing I liked the most out of guys was the strength and protection you feel when a strong one holds you. You feel like nothing can ever happen to you or harm you when you’re in the arms of one of them. I also felt the body heat he was throwing off, which made it even better. I don’t know why, but he’s always hot and radiating heat.

“This has to be one of my favorite things, Joe.”

“What, me holding you?” I nodded. “Why?”

“Because I just like feeling your body against mine, and I like it when people hold me.”

“Why?”

“You ask a lot of questions.”

“Sorry.”

“It’s fine, I was kidding.” I smiled up to him. “I just like the feeling of security and protection I get when someone holds me.”

“Oh, I know what you mean. I actually like holding people more than being held because I like having someone to look out for.”

“I guess we make a good pair then?”

We really didn’t talk much after that, we just laid there. He was still holding me and still had his head resting on top of mine and there was no sign of him letting me go anytime soon, and I was perfectly fine with it. I brought my hand on top of his and gently rubbed back and forth. I heard him sigh when I first started doing it and it wasn’t a bad sigh, but a relaxing one.

I noticed his breathing slowed down and that he wasn’t moving as much anymore. When I looked up at his face, his eyes were closed and his mouth was cracked open a little. He had fallen asleep, holding me. I began to fall asleep myself, and before I knew it, my eyes were closed.

 

[deleted12830]

very nice! thanks for sharing

 

[Mcbubble]

A bit of advice..

First great story great plot! I am now curious how big Jason is down below, hopefully bigger than Joe.

But the advice is, type this up in Microsoft word, or even wordpad, something you can save. Then when you are done with each chapter go over and read it. I noticed there were a few times you used the wrong word. "...got on him plane and he flew it." little mistakes like that are not going to ruin the story, but they do make the reader pause to correct it.

Again any mistakes you made were minor an just interrupted the flow a bit. The story and plot itself were more than good enough to make up for it.


Keep on writing mate I really enjoy this story!

 

[latinlov]

A bit of advice..

First great story great plot! I am now curious how big Jason is down below, hopefully bigger than Joe.

But the advice is, type this up in Microsoft word, or even wordpad, something you can save. Then when you are done with each chapter go over and read it. I noticed there were a few times you used the wrong word. "...got on him plane and he flew it." little mistakes like that are not going to ruin the story, but they do make the reader pause to correct it.

Again any mistakes you made were minor an just interrupted the flow a bit. The story and plot itself were more than good enough to make up for it.


Keep on writing mate I really enjoy this story!

Thanks for the advice. i make a note of that. Thanks again.

 

[khaospear]

whens the next posting

 

[latinlov]

Tomorrow two chapter uploads. ch 6 is mainly about the trip. Ch 7 is a bit of surprise somebody is geting hurt.

 

[Luvs2Squirt]

Can't wait!! Love this story!!

 

[uncut702]

Thanks for writing, can't wait!