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deleted1547822
Guest
My aunt is about 8 years older than me (mom is the oldest and aunt is the "whoops"). She got remarried a couple of years ago (first husband was a serial cheater), and once you get a couple of glasses of wine in her all you hear about is my new uncle's pecker. Seriously. She's been a social worker / counselor for 30 years, so maybe he's small and she's decided this is a way to boost his ego; or maybe she's sexually satisfied/liberated and wants to share her joy.
It gets worse. After the inappropriate comments get haphazardly sprinkled throughout dinner, the sex talk starts. The men leave when this begins. Yesterday at Christmas dinner, we realized we could overhear the conversation from the next room and we went outside to do man stuff.
To give you an idea of how inappropriate this gets, after declaring her own satisfaction she starts questioning the other women at the table. She asked my cousin about her boyfriend. "How is he down there?", prodding her until she got a "he's really big" in response. This is when we went outside, and thank god my cousin's boyfriend wasn't at this gathering. But wait, that's not even all. My wife told me she then asked about me, size, what do I like to do, etc... My wife looks at her and "THAT's YOUR NEPHEW AND HIS MOTHER IS SITTING RIGHT HERE!!!".
Meanwhile, we men-folk are outside and the inevitable comments about cousin's boyfriend start. "He must be hung like a gas-pump, heh heh heh..." and all that.
So I thought you all might find my Christmas dinner humorous (my wife said it's like watching a bad "Bridesmaids" sequel), and I guess I have two questions.
1. WTF??? I even know how or what to ask about my aunt's behavior. Feel free to run with that as you see fit. I'll try to clarify if needed.
2. What does "really big" mean. The guys of course think of length, but as I've learned on the interwebz girth is important too. Are there different, somewhat common terms? Big/Huge/Long/whatever? Wife tried to answer on the way home, but was still laughing too hard at the scenario. Although it's technically a penis size question, it's not really meant to be. It's the psychology/sociology angle I think is interesting, like the difference between English metaphors and German ones (which is a whole other topic I could talk about).
It gets worse. After the inappropriate comments get haphazardly sprinkled throughout dinner, the sex talk starts. The men leave when this begins. Yesterday at Christmas dinner, we realized we could overhear the conversation from the next room and we went outside to do man stuff.
To give you an idea of how inappropriate this gets, after declaring her own satisfaction she starts questioning the other women at the table. She asked my cousin about her boyfriend. "How is he down there?", prodding her until she got a "he's really big" in response. This is when we went outside, and thank god my cousin's boyfriend wasn't at this gathering. But wait, that's not even all. My wife told me she then asked about me, size, what do I like to do, etc... My wife looks at her and "THAT's YOUR NEPHEW AND HIS MOTHER IS SITTING RIGHT HERE!!!".
Meanwhile, we men-folk are outside and the inevitable comments about cousin's boyfriend start. "He must be hung like a gas-pump, heh heh heh..." and all that.
So I thought you all might find my Christmas dinner humorous (my wife said it's like watching a bad "Bridesmaids" sequel), and I guess I have two questions.
1. WTF??? I even know how or what to ask about my aunt's behavior. Feel free to run with that as you see fit. I'll try to clarify if needed.
2. What does "really big" mean. The guys of course think of length, but as I've learned on the interwebz girth is important too. Are there different, somewhat common terms? Big/Huge/Long/whatever? Wife tried to answer on the way home, but was still laughing too hard at the scenario. Although it's technically a penis size question, it's not really meant to be. It's the psychology/sociology angle I think is interesting, like the difference between English metaphors and German ones (which is a whole other topic I could talk about).