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Hey, you all, I did, indeed, search for a similar thread, so please, just let me know if there is one that I can join in on, without being trashed for not trying. What came up with my searches were random and daunting... I need to find peers that are experiencing this. Like, RIGHT NOW.
I feel like I am also dying...
So, PLEASE!... I am not looking for "sympathy cards"...
I'm needing advice from men who are loosing their fathers, as well... especially those with much unfinished business to deal with. What is the right or wrong thing to say... at this time, with someone who is both the bane of my existence, AND a very amazing man and guide in my life?
I do not know how to comfort him. I just want him to know that I love him very much, although he has been the classic, brutalizing, perfectionist type of father. I am the black sheep of my family and yet, weirdly, I am someone he both resents and admires... And vice-versa. He definitely does not think that he did a good job with his kids... and there is no convincing him, otherwise.
For tomorrow, I've put together photos from all of our family gatherings, shared vacations, acclaims and awards from his career, things that I've accomplished, our gardens, Great Grandparents, Grandparents, Parents, their wedding pictures, kids, nieces and nephews, pets, etc., to show him when he is awake. I hope that will be a good thing!... I just don't know what else to do... other than stand by him... and stand by the side of my wonderful Mom.
My family is gathered, and every call could be the last one. Who knows? He has rallied before, with cancer... so this could just be a test. He always threatens that he will out-live us all... lol. God bless him... the surly guy that he is.
I have dealt with the deaths of many friends, but, not of an immediate family member, other than Grandparents, who I adored and had so much respect for! I have plenty of people to talk to, lots of support, amongst friends and family, in the flesh and online, so don't worry about me, but, any genuine response will be appreciated.
Other than "I love you"... What is the best thing that you can say to your father on, possibly, his death bed?
Onan
I feel like I am also dying...
So, PLEASE!... I am not looking for "sympathy cards"...
I'm needing advice from men who are loosing their fathers, as well... especially those with much unfinished business to deal with. What is the right or wrong thing to say... at this time, with someone who is both the bane of my existence, AND a very amazing man and guide in my life?
I do not know how to comfort him. I just want him to know that I love him very much, although he has been the classic, brutalizing, perfectionist type of father. I am the black sheep of my family and yet, weirdly, I am someone he both resents and admires... And vice-versa. He definitely does not think that he did a good job with his kids... and there is no convincing him, otherwise.
For tomorrow, I've put together photos from all of our family gatherings, shared vacations, acclaims and awards from his career, things that I've accomplished, our gardens, Great Grandparents, Grandparents, Parents, their wedding pictures, kids, nieces and nephews, pets, etc., to show him when he is awake. I hope that will be a good thing!... I just don't know what else to do... other than stand by him... and stand by the side of my wonderful Mom.
My family is gathered, and every call could be the last one. Who knows? He has rallied before, with cancer... so this could just be a test. He always threatens that he will out-live us all... lol. God bless him... the surly guy that he is.
I have dealt with the deaths of many friends, but, not of an immediate family member, other than Grandparents, who I adored and had so much respect for! I have plenty of people to talk to, lots of support, amongst friends and family, in the flesh and online, so don't worry about me, but, any genuine response will be appreciated.
Other than "I love you"... What is the best thing that you can say to your father on, possibly, his death bed?
Onan