My dilemma

Stevenjs

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So, I met this really hot straight guy on IG only for fitness stuff. Anyway, we didn’t really hang out but this might be embarrassing but I was like his sugar daddy. The only thing I did was go down on him a few times but he always wanted money after. I knew it was a gay 4 pay kinda thing but he was so hot I didn’t care. The feelings came and I knew it would never work out as he is straight.

Anyway, I stopped doing anything with him for awhile but I let him borrow money and it took him 6 months to pay me back and I stopped talking to him. We reconnected and we’re supposed to hang out but he wanted money before to pay a bill. I give him the cash and now he completely ghosts me like he did the last time he borrowed money.

He’s toxic as hell but I think my low self esteem and his good looks keeps the toxicity flowing. I know I need to drop him but it’s so hard. Last time he borrowed money and didn’t pay me back I said I’d expose him. I immediately got the cash. I wish I could drop him completely but it’s so hard.
 

Stevenjs

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This is a very dangerous game you are playing. It will only get worse. Get rid of his # and block his calls. Your low self esteem will only get lower. You can do it.
I agree, very dangerous. He’s so manipulative too and I know I’m smarter than this. Dunno how I even put myself in this position. I don’t want to be friends with him or anything. The problem is I just let him borrow money and I want it back. Then I’ll be done with him.
 

chancesare

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You have to face the fact that he is straight and will never change his lack of feelings for you. He is not honorable to be upfront with you about his lack of intentions of paying you back. Either drop him as recommended or admit to yourself it is a financial arrangement. Pay him for the opportunity to suck his cock and don't expect him to pay you back. You can't change his mind. All you can do is adjust your expectations. Don't give him money without getting what you want in return, then let it go.
 

Stevenjs

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You have to face the fact that he is straight and will never change his lack of feelings for you. He is not honorable to be upfront with you about his lack of intentions of paying you back. Either drop him as recommended or admit to yourself it is a financial arrangement. Pay him for the opportunity to suck his cock and don't expect him to pay you back. You can't change his mind. All you can do is adjust your expectations. Don't give him money without getting what you want in return, then let it go.
I don’t do anything sexual with him anymore, I kinda don’t want to either. He has helped me when I was in a bind one time (not financial though), but I agree with you. Either a financial ‘arrangement’ or nothing at all. I don’t want to be friends with him or hang out or anything, but yes, if I give him money these days it’s only if he pays me back but I’m done with him now.
 
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Stevenjs

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Lol, I can’t stay completely away. I’ve seen him once since but I was in town and we went out to eat and some other things, etc. but, I think I made it clear that I like hanging out/going down on him. But, I’m not letting him ‘borrow’ any more money. He’s hot as hell but I will say, I’m not as attracted to him physically as I used to be. And, going down on him isn’t nearly as fun as it used to be.