My Everest Summit Attempt

Discussion in 'Et Cetera, Et Cetera' started by Pumperthumper, Nov 7, 2006.

  1. Pumperthumper

    Pumperthumper New Member

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    A few years ago a small party and I made an attempt to summit Mount Everest. Actually, to say we made a summit attempt would be a lie. The problem was that our entire party, including our 2 Sherpas was gay. Now being gay in and of itself is not a problem as I've repeatedly expounded on Craigslist, however, the gayness becomes quite a hindrance on an Everest expedition. It was such a hindrance that we never left base camp. Me and these 6 other very gay men were packed snugly into our tents the first night at base camp, and of course the inevitable happened. It was a night of pure debauchery. We must have gone through 17 tubes of anal lube. Being tired from all the buttsex and not getting sleep, we had to put off our climb for another day to rest. But sitting around resting up for the climb made us bored, and to alleviate our boredom, you guessed it, we had even more gay sex! It was a viscious cycle, but a pleasurable one at least. We spent the entire window of good Everest climbing weather participating in gay orgies. It was crazy. Even if we wanted to climb, it would have been impossible after day 3 since we used up all our oxygen bottles to power these asshole ticklers that I invented. So that was pretty much that. No actual climbing Everest and experiencing the roof of the world, just plenty of my nose buried between a Sherpa's buttcheeks while my friend Alex licked my nutsack and fingered my asshole. The good thing about all this gay sex on an Everest expedition was that our equipment was perfectly suited to enhancing our pleasure. We had tons of rope which made for tons of awesome gay bondage. Our Sherpas had never been tied up before so it was fun to have them totally naked and immobile while I teased their quivering cocks with an ice cold carabiner. I guess the point of this story is that the summit isn't everything. The other point I want to make is that if you're really really gay like me, you should probably attempt Everest with heteros, maybe even heteros of the opposite sex just to be sure. My expedition to Everest cost nearly $40,000, which is a bit expensive for a gay sex orgy when I have my pick of gay bathhouses all over Toronto. But would I do it again? Yes, yes I would.
     
  2. DaveyR

    DaveyR Retired Moderator
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    You need to get this one moved to the fictitious section where it belongs.
     
  3. Pumperthumper

    Pumperthumper New Member

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    Noes. It's totally true
     
  4. Ummagumma

    Ummagumma New Member

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  5. D_Gunther Snotpole

    D_Gunther Snotpole Account Disabled

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    Wonderful. I believed every word.
    But viscious : Do you mean vicious (the one I like) or viscous (the one I can live with)?
     
  6. thirteenbyseven

    Gold Member

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    Could you possibly come up with a heterosexual version for us straight guys? Remember...the one where you reached Advanced Base Camp when an atypically ferocious early summer Himalyan storm pops up unexpectedly. A second team of Everest climbers comprised of Supermodels aborts their accent of the North Col and seeks shelter at your camp. In your survival kit you delightfully discover a couple bottles of Crystal champagne and together with the Supermodels (two of which you cleverly named Nuptse and Lohtse) you all huddle and sexually celebrate your chance meeting at the 500 millibar level.:rolleyes:
     
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