id start out by tellin her where to go straight up. then change ur number and if she comes around get a restraining order. and if she comes again she'll get arrested she'll get the hint eventually. and on top of which why in sam hell would you even consider giving her money?! do u not have a back bone or what?
went through something like that last year.
1) made sure to have all voicemail from her transferred to a jump drive
2) printed out all e-mails
3) changed all locks
4) got a restraining order
5) when she still pulled crap, went to the police and said sweetly, "you know i really hate doing this since she's an RN and could lose her license if she's arrested, but here's the restraining order and if she does it again i will have her arrested. would you tell her that?" and, they did tell her that.
6) last straw was when her lawyer insisted that she should have half of what was in the house after a) she was the one that abandoned the relationship and had not asked for anything for 4+ months, and b) she had left me with around $15,000-20,000 in debt. i then said "my lawyer will call you." never heard from the stupid f-ing c*nt again.
it takes a little work, but it can be done. all it takes is resolve. btw, you can still be kind and a gentleman/lady through it. still have to be resolute.