The subject line sounds intense, but let me break it down...
My girlfriend and I parted ways earlier this month. It's been a challenge for both of us, but I think I bounced back a little faster. Basically, she had fallen for me, but I hadn't fall for her, although I truly did try. She has everything I like physically and mentally, but it just didn't click for me. So, after a few months of just coasting, we decided ending it was for the best. She just turned 33 BTW, and wants a kid by age 35.
Anyway, last weekend, out of the blue, she called me and we talked, and she eventually told me her "backup plan" to have a kid at 35, with or without a partner (at this point that plan hadn't included me). She has had this plan since she was about 28. As we were both talking, she sort of decided right there on the spot that she'd really want me to be the donor. I was totally shocked at first, but she said she didn't want an answer now, she just wanted me to think it over for a month or two and then decide.
I should add that I do trust her, and that she's very loyal, and I don't think it's just a ploy to get back together... I should feel flattered, and I am... A friend of mine did it for a lesbian couple--it's actually quite a noble cause... She's still going to get fertilized even if I say no, but she'd rather it be with someone she knows (and is healthy, full head of hair, has good genes, etc.
. but... here's the thing - I may still want kids myself one day, WITH the right woman, and this could really throw a curve ball into the mix later down the road. I also know that if I was the donor, I'd probably want to be with that kid all the time (she said she'd leave up to me whether I'd be a part of his/her life)...
It is a conundrum. Any advice?
My girlfriend and I parted ways earlier this month. It's been a challenge for both of us, but I think I bounced back a little faster. Basically, she had fallen for me, but I hadn't fall for her, although I truly did try. She has everything I like physically and mentally, but it just didn't click for me. So, after a few months of just coasting, we decided ending it was for the best. She just turned 33 BTW, and wants a kid by age 35.
Anyway, last weekend, out of the blue, she called me and we talked, and she eventually told me her "backup plan" to have a kid at 35, with or without a partner (at this point that plan hadn't included me). She has had this plan since she was about 28. As we were both talking, she sort of decided right there on the spot that she'd really want me to be the donor. I was totally shocked at first, but she said she didn't want an answer now, she just wanted me to think it over for a month or two and then decide.
I should add that I do trust her, and that she's very loyal, and I don't think it's just a ploy to get back together... I should feel flattered, and I am... A friend of mine did it for a lesbian couple--it's actually quite a noble cause... She's still going to get fertilized even if I say no, but she'd rather it be with someone she knows (and is healthy, full head of hair, has good genes, etc.
It is a conundrum. Any advice?