My Favorite Gay Joke(s)

[midlifebear]

As a card-carrying member of the gay community lo these 56 years, I feel no problems with posting jokes about gays -- or anyone else for that matter, as long as no racism or equally appalling indignity is championed.

Therefore:

This year the first world-wide gay ecumenical convention was held and everything went swimmingly except for one thing. A consensus good not be agreed upon as to whether Jesus was "divine" or "simply fabulous!":smile:

 

[psidom]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3KiAvmzcZbg
jesus was fabulously divine.:tongue:

 

[hotguy8884]

This year the first world-wide gay ecumenical convention was held and everything went swimmingly except for one thing. A consensus good not be agreed upon as to whether Jesus was "divine" or "simply fabulous!":smile:

HAHA, omg. That kills me.

Rob <3

 

[slate_australis]

Did you hear about the fight at the gay bar?

Yeah... it got so heated the guys went outside and exchanged blows.

 

[unzipped]

Never ask a gay guy where he was reared...

You may hear more than you expected.. haha

 

[unzipped]

Again, of course why aren't there any gay pro football players??

Can't seem to find a tightend...

 

[unzipped]

How about the gay necrophiliac-- that was always running into a dead end...

 

[unzipped]

How about the gay, homesick polynesian nympho that was longing for Samoa...

 

[ZOS23xy]

There was a polish homo. He married a woman.

 

[Mr Ed in Mass]

Three gay guys are in a hot tub,suddenly a condom floats up to the surface,one guy says "O.K., who farted?"

 

[bottombuddy]

Three gay guys are in a hot tub,suddenly a condom floats up to the surface,one guy says "O.K., who farted?"

lmao:biggrin1::biggrin1::biggrin1:

 

[nakedwally]

What's another word for a gay farmer?

A jolly rancher.

 

[nakedwally]

Four straight guys walk into a bar and start arguing over who's penis is longer.

Well the bar tender finally got sick of hearing them arguing so told them he had a way to solve this problem.

He told them to stick their penis' on the bar and he'd tell them who's was bigger.

Well just as the put them up there, a gay guy walks in and yells "I'll have the buffet!

 

[ericbear]

A gay hotel catches fire. It is a fast-moving blaze. Who gets out alive, the men or the women?








The lesbians, of course! They were out lickety-split, while the guys were still packing their shit.

 

[EagleCowboy]

What's the difference between a fag and a refrigerator?

The fridge doesn't fart when you take the meat out.

 

[EagleCowboy]

A straight guy was driving his pickup and came upon a small town. Suddenly, the pickup breaks down. (must have been a Chevy ) Strangely enough, the only bar in town just happened to be a gay bar. Well, he's stuck but decides, what the heck. All he wants is a beer and it's not like he's going to get raped or something.

So he goes into the bar and parks himself on a barstool. The bartender sashays up to him and asks him what he wants. "Bud Dry" he says. The bartender says "Ok, but before you can have the beer, you have to tell me what you call your dick." The straight guy says "WTF??"

So the bartender explains, "See that guy over there? He calls his "Ford", as in built tough. See that other guy? He calls his "Chevy" as in like a rock." So the straight guy says "I never thought about it. Give me a minute here." So the bartender leaves him to wait on others.

5 minutes later the bartender comes back and asks the straight guy if he figured out a name for his dick yet. The straight guy replies "Yep. Sure did. It's "Secret".

The bartender looks at him perplexed and exclaimed "SECRET?!?" "What kind of a name is that?? The name is supposed to describe your dick!!"

The straight guy says "It does. Secret. Strong enough for a man, but made for a woman!!"

 

[WaSwimmer]

Ever have one of those days when the perfect joke just pops into your head? Know it says something about my brain..... here goes.

Did you hear about the world traveling transsexual who finally settled down? Prior to his surgery he spent his entire life abroad.

 

[midlifebear]

And what does one call a gay bar without stools?

A fruit stand.

 

[D_Tintagel_Demondong]

This is an old one, but...

What is a lesbian's favorite type of flooring?

 

[midlifebear]

OK, I'll bite. What is a lesbian's favorite type of flooring? Shag carpet, perhaps?