So, funny story here... I was 20 and this local 18yo football-player high-school kid messages me with a similar story... He wants to try sex with men, wants someone with a BIG dick to just shove it in him and make him like it...
He came over, he was nervous... It took forever to get his shirt off... Then he was nervous all over again... I kept trying to calm him down, eventually it was good and he got his pants off... Then he freaked out again and we had to start over... Eventually, after hours of him freaking out, calming down and freaking out again... My cock was out and he was bent over and I was trying to get him to relax for me, but... He freaked out again and I was just... Tired of putting up with it. So I shoved every god damned inch of my hard cock, balls-deep into his tight hole, all of about a full second before my roomate got home and burst through the door. That football player was dressed and out my door in all of 10 seconds. His online profiles and email address were taken down within 15 minutes.
So... Here's my suggestion. You may "know" what you want... But chances are, you have absolutely no idea what you actually want. Being gay has NOTHING to do with gay sex. It has to do with finding someone of the same sex with whom you share an emotion connection. For most (but not all), this leads to a desire to share a physical connection as well, but... That emotional connection comes first.
If you really want to experiment with gay sex... Don't push it. You won't enjoy it. Just... See what's out there. Meet some people, make some friends... Fool around. And, as for big dicks? Seriously man... You and I? We're not packing starter toys. If the guy you hook up with is older and well-experienced, you might not suffer as much... But if he's anything else? You WILL cry, you WILL bleed, you WILL be in pain and suffering and it's going to color your beliefs as to what gay sex is. Your first time needs to be with someone you like and, more importantly... Someone who's willing to take the time to go as fast or as slow as you need them to with patience and concern for your enjoyment.
