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This is the story of my first serious gay relationship and how it developed. This kind of thing happens all the time. No big deal. The timeline here is significant because this was in my Senior year in college in 1969, several months before Stonewall. If you are around my age, this story will be familiar. If you are reading this now as a young person, the situation back then may seem other worldly, almost unimaginable, but this was when very few gay men or women were out of the closet. Most lived a life, hidden within themselves, appearing and acting heterosexual to all and either accepting, being perplexed by, denying or not even aware of their gay selves.
I had known Jim since our first year in college when we were randomly chosen as roommates. We shared a suite with two other guys through our Junior year, and then Jim and I moved to an apartment off campus. We were friends with similar interests but not what I’d call “best friends,” guys who confided in one another and who would do anything to help the other if he were in need. We both had girl friends. Jim’s had been his high school sweetheart, and she moved to town in our Sophomore year when she enrolled at another nearby college. Jim and her saw each other every weekend and were inseparable. My girl friend lived in another city, and we would see each other every three or four weeks and over breaks.
All of our lives seemed normal at the time. Except for one thing. I had a serious crush on Jim since we first met. I didn’t think anything of it at the time, just envy for a really handsome guy in great shape that I wished I could be too. We had, of course, seen each other naked in the normal course of being roommates, and I always tried to cop a look at his body. I don’t think I ever got caught; at least Jim never gave the slightest hint of it. He was handsome as hell with bright blue ever and a well defined body. He had a small, diamond shaped patch of hair between his pecs that I adored but was otherwise smooth except for a cute treasure trail leading down from this navel. He was uncut, which fascinated me, since I was cut and had seen few uncut cocks before. Maybe Jim did see me copping a look at his body. Maybe he enjoyed the attention. Maybe he was doing the same with me. It just never occurred to me.
I had jerked off with buddies before, but that was only about getting it off. Most of the time, we kept our hands to ourselves, but sometimes we would stroke each other. This was a normal guy thing, I thought, something all guys did, and I suspect it’s true. Any talk was about who could shoot the longest, or the most, or the fastest, and little more was said, but for me it was more. I just loved the feel of another cock in my hand, so like my own but so different, how one might be straighter or more curved, thick or thinner, and I was driven crazy when a guy would come as I stroked him and his cock became more turgid and throbbed and squirted uncontrollably.
I often fantasized about Jim when I jerked off alone. I would imagine the two of us jerking off together, but it was more that just stroking. I would explore every inch of Jim’s body with my hands, running my fingers through the patch of hair on his chest, following the treasure trail down to his cock, cupping his balls, stroking him and seeing what gentle touch drove him crazy, giving him a blow job. That was about it. I knew nothing at all about gay sex at the time.
All this changed over a couple of days in our Senior year. I remember every detail, as if it were yesterday. It was late one night, and we were sitting on the couch and watching some movie on TV. During one of the commercials, Jim went to the kitchen to get something to drink. While he was gone, I relaxed a bit and put my arm up on the back of the couch behind where Jim had been sitting. A minute or two later, he returned with a bottle of soda which he put on the side table, and he sat back down again on the couch. I hadn’t moved my arm. I still don’t know why. I can’t recall a conscious thought to leave it there nor pull it back once Jim returned. I now sat there frozen, afraid to move. Jim was sitting upright, but after a couple of minutes, he relaxed and slid down the couch a bit, his back now against the rear pillow. Then, very slowly, he leaned his head back until it touched and lay upon my arm. At first, I just froze. I could see that Jim’s body was completely relaxed and that put me at ease.
We sat there with Jim’s head leaning on my arm, watching the TV, as if nothing was out of the ordinary. My heart began to pound when I saw him put his hand on his lap, just past his fly. I could see him getting hard under his jeans, and he slowly began to rub himself. I was now hard as a rock, and a minute or two later Jim reached over and put his hand on my crotch. The feeling was incredible, and I couldn’t believe this was happening. I reached over, and we sat there for several minutes, each fondling the other’s hard-on, still hidden under our pants.
I lifted my hand, unbuttoned his pants and zipped down his fly. Jim let out a sigh and closed his eyes. I slipped my hand over his underwear and could feel his hard-on, no longer covered by his jeans, in more detail. I stroked slowly as Jim’s breathing got deeper and faster. Finally, I slipped my hand beneath his underwear, and I embraced his erection. Jim let out a soft moan, lifted himself up a bit and pulled down his pants and underwear. I was absolutely enthralled by the feel of his erection. I had never touched an uncut cock before, much less a hard one. His foreskin still covered his glans, and I could vaguely feel the ridge of his head underneath, not the distinct edge of the ridge on a cut cock that I was used to. He was moist under his foreskin, and I could move it around his head. I slipped a finger underneath it, circled his glans and then slid his foreskin up and down his shaft to cover and uncover his head. Jim let out an occasional moan, and every so often his whole body would stiffen for a second or two, and his cock would twitch and jerk up and down.
After several minutes, Jim turned his head toward me and opened his eyes, as if to say, now it’s your turn. He rolled toward me, undid and lowered my pants, encircled my cock with his hand and began to stroke. I was dripping precum, and the feeling of his hand gliding effortlessly up and down me was something I will never, ever forget.
After a while, Jim let go, we both relaxed a bit and then placed a hand on each other penis. It was, for me, a feeling of absolute, sublime contentment and pleasure as we stroked each other, and, I suspect, for Jim, as well. I had jumped a major hurdle, something I had dreamed about for quite some time. We let the moments pass, completely lost in the feelings of having our cock stroked while caressing the other’s. Suddenly, Jim’s breathing got deeper and faster, his grunts keeping time. His glans turned a deep purple red, and his cock firmed up even more. At the same time, his hand tightened his grip on me, and he stroked me faster and faster. He was the first to come, squirting a load up onto the patch of hair on his chest. After his first shot, I came too, and we both ejaculated in synchrony for several seconds afterwards.
Exhausted, we both collapsed back onto the couch and just lay there for several minutes. “That felt so good,” I said. “Yes, it did,” Jim replied. That’s all we said. We grabbed some tissues, cleaned up, pulled up our pants and just sat there in silence. It was really late, and soon we got up, got really for bed, and went to our own bedrooms for the night. I wasn’t quite sure to make of what had just happened. Was this just two buddies jerking off? Maybe Jim just saw my arm across the back of the couch as a come on for some fun and nothing more. Or was it something more?
Jim had an early class the next day, and I slept in late. We both worked part-time at one of the dorm desks in the late afternoon and early evening, and on the day that one of us worked, the other would fix something for dinner. Jim was working this day, and I was getting something ready to eat with my eyes fixed out the window to the street. Jim finally pulled up, parked and walked to the front of our apartment complex. I could hear the downstairs door open and Jim slowly walking up the steps to the second floor. I walked to the entry to the kitchen, close to the hallway and the front door. Soon, I could hear a key jiggling in the lock, and the door slowly opened. Our eyes immediately locked on one another’s, and for a second or two we just stood there in silence, not moving at all. Then, we each stepped forward into the warmest embrace and deepest, most sensual kiss I had even experienced. We finally let go of each other, peered deeply into the other’s eyes, as we both broke out into the widest of grins. With arms around each other, we walked into my bedroom.
After that first night, Jim and I slept together every night, and with time and patience, we mastered all the joys of gay sex. We never confessed love for one another, but clearly we each felt a bond closer than we had never felt before for another person. We were out to no one, still just roommates to all the world. Jim spent the weekends with his girl friend, and I would see mine every few weeks. Today, this would seem utterly hypocritical. At the time, it was just the double lives that most gay men pursued.
A couple of years after college, Jim and and his girlfriend married, and I soon lost track of them. I embraced being gay, finally came out and had several long term relationships over the years. Finally, about twenty years after we graduated, I tried tracking Jim down again. This was just at the dawn of the internet, and all I could find was an email address for his girlfriend. I wrote her, wanting to catch up, and I learned they had moved back to the town where they were raised, had a grown daughter and had recently gotten divorced. I had a strong intuition why, and I got Jim’s contact information. I called, we met, and we’re still together.
I had known Jim since our first year in college when we were randomly chosen as roommates. We shared a suite with two other guys through our Junior year, and then Jim and I moved to an apartment off campus. We were friends with similar interests but not what I’d call “best friends,” guys who confided in one another and who would do anything to help the other if he were in need. We both had girl friends. Jim’s had been his high school sweetheart, and she moved to town in our Sophomore year when she enrolled at another nearby college. Jim and her saw each other every weekend and were inseparable. My girl friend lived in another city, and we would see each other every three or four weeks and over breaks.
All of our lives seemed normal at the time. Except for one thing. I had a serious crush on Jim since we first met. I didn’t think anything of it at the time, just envy for a really handsome guy in great shape that I wished I could be too. We had, of course, seen each other naked in the normal course of being roommates, and I always tried to cop a look at his body. I don’t think I ever got caught; at least Jim never gave the slightest hint of it. He was handsome as hell with bright blue ever and a well defined body. He had a small, diamond shaped patch of hair between his pecs that I adored but was otherwise smooth except for a cute treasure trail leading down from this navel. He was uncut, which fascinated me, since I was cut and had seen few uncut cocks before. Maybe Jim did see me copping a look at his body. Maybe he enjoyed the attention. Maybe he was doing the same with me. It just never occurred to me.
I had jerked off with buddies before, but that was only about getting it off. Most of the time, we kept our hands to ourselves, but sometimes we would stroke each other. This was a normal guy thing, I thought, something all guys did, and I suspect it’s true. Any talk was about who could shoot the longest, or the most, or the fastest, and little more was said, but for me it was more. I just loved the feel of another cock in my hand, so like my own but so different, how one might be straighter or more curved, thick or thinner, and I was driven crazy when a guy would come as I stroked him and his cock became more turgid and throbbed and squirted uncontrollably.
I often fantasized about Jim when I jerked off alone. I would imagine the two of us jerking off together, but it was more that just stroking. I would explore every inch of Jim’s body with my hands, running my fingers through the patch of hair on his chest, following the treasure trail down to his cock, cupping his balls, stroking him and seeing what gentle touch drove him crazy, giving him a blow job. That was about it. I knew nothing at all about gay sex at the time.
All this changed over a couple of days in our Senior year. I remember every detail, as if it were yesterday. It was late one night, and we were sitting on the couch and watching some movie on TV. During one of the commercials, Jim went to the kitchen to get something to drink. While he was gone, I relaxed a bit and put my arm up on the back of the couch behind where Jim had been sitting. A minute or two later, he returned with a bottle of soda which he put on the side table, and he sat back down again on the couch. I hadn’t moved my arm. I still don’t know why. I can’t recall a conscious thought to leave it there nor pull it back once Jim returned. I now sat there frozen, afraid to move. Jim was sitting upright, but after a couple of minutes, he relaxed and slid down the couch a bit, his back now against the rear pillow. Then, very slowly, he leaned his head back until it touched and lay upon my arm. At first, I just froze. I could see that Jim’s body was completely relaxed and that put me at ease.
We sat there with Jim’s head leaning on my arm, watching the TV, as if nothing was out of the ordinary. My heart began to pound when I saw him put his hand on his lap, just past his fly. I could see him getting hard under his jeans, and he slowly began to rub himself. I was now hard as a rock, and a minute or two later Jim reached over and put his hand on my crotch. The feeling was incredible, and I couldn’t believe this was happening. I reached over, and we sat there for several minutes, each fondling the other’s hard-on, still hidden under our pants.
I lifted my hand, unbuttoned his pants and zipped down his fly. Jim let out a sigh and closed his eyes. I slipped my hand over his underwear and could feel his hard-on, no longer covered by his jeans, in more detail. I stroked slowly as Jim’s breathing got deeper and faster. Finally, I slipped my hand beneath his underwear, and I embraced his erection. Jim let out a soft moan, lifted himself up a bit and pulled down his pants and underwear. I was absolutely enthralled by the feel of his erection. I had never touched an uncut cock before, much less a hard one. His foreskin still covered his glans, and I could vaguely feel the ridge of his head underneath, not the distinct edge of the ridge on a cut cock that I was used to. He was moist under his foreskin, and I could move it around his head. I slipped a finger underneath it, circled his glans and then slid his foreskin up and down his shaft to cover and uncover his head. Jim let out an occasional moan, and every so often his whole body would stiffen for a second or two, and his cock would twitch and jerk up and down.
After several minutes, Jim turned his head toward me and opened his eyes, as if to say, now it’s your turn. He rolled toward me, undid and lowered my pants, encircled my cock with his hand and began to stroke. I was dripping precum, and the feeling of his hand gliding effortlessly up and down me was something I will never, ever forget.
After a while, Jim let go, we both relaxed a bit and then placed a hand on each other penis. It was, for me, a feeling of absolute, sublime contentment and pleasure as we stroked each other, and, I suspect, for Jim, as well. I had jumped a major hurdle, something I had dreamed about for quite some time. We let the moments pass, completely lost in the feelings of having our cock stroked while caressing the other’s. Suddenly, Jim’s breathing got deeper and faster, his grunts keeping time. His glans turned a deep purple red, and his cock firmed up even more. At the same time, his hand tightened his grip on me, and he stroked me faster and faster. He was the first to come, squirting a load up onto the patch of hair on his chest. After his first shot, I came too, and we both ejaculated in synchrony for several seconds afterwards.
Exhausted, we both collapsed back onto the couch and just lay there for several minutes. “That felt so good,” I said. “Yes, it did,” Jim replied. That’s all we said. We grabbed some tissues, cleaned up, pulled up our pants and just sat there in silence. It was really late, and soon we got up, got really for bed, and went to our own bedrooms for the night. I wasn’t quite sure to make of what had just happened. Was this just two buddies jerking off? Maybe Jim just saw my arm across the back of the couch as a come on for some fun and nothing more. Or was it something more?
Jim had an early class the next day, and I slept in late. We both worked part-time at one of the dorm desks in the late afternoon and early evening, and on the day that one of us worked, the other would fix something for dinner. Jim was working this day, and I was getting something ready to eat with my eyes fixed out the window to the street. Jim finally pulled up, parked and walked to the front of our apartment complex. I could hear the downstairs door open and Jim slowly walking up the steps to the second floor. I walked to the entry to the kitchen, close to the hallway and the front door. Soon, I could hear a key jiggling in the lock, and the door slowly opened. Our eyes immediately locked on one another’s, and for a second or two we just stood there in silence, not moving at all. Then, we each stepped forward into the warmest embrace and deepest, most sensual kiss I had even experienced. We finally let go of each other, peered deeply into the other’s eyes, as we both broke out into the widest of grins. With arms around each other, we walked into my bedroom.
After that first night, Jim and I slept together every night, and with time and patience, we mastered all the joys of gay sex. We never confessed love for one another, but clearly we each felt a bond closer than we had never felt before for another person. We were out to no one, still just roommates to all the world. Jim spent the weekends with his girl friend, and I would see mine every few weeks. Today, this would seem utterly hypocritical. At the time, it was just the double lives that most gay men pursued.
A couple of years after college, Jim and and his girlfriend married, and I soon lost track of them. I embraced being gay, finally came out and had several long term relationships over the years. Finally, about twenty years after we graduated, I tried tracking Jim down again. This was just at the dawn of the internet, and all I could find was an email address for his girlfriend. I wrote her, wanting to catch up, and I learned they had moved back to the town where they were raised, had a grown daughter and had recently gotten divorced. I had a strong intuition why, and I got Jim’s contact information. I called, we met, and we’re still together.
