My friend can't stop attracting ''straights'' and bisexual men

TWINKTON

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I was just posting about said friend but thought to make a thread. I have this friend who is gay. Let's call him D. No, he's not your typical fawning after straight men at all. He keeps to himself in that regard. He is more than happy single but gay guys NEVER approach him. He's only ever approached by bisexual men and straights are closeted or didn't even realise they were bi. I had one friend I introduced him to in a club, this guy was rough and tough and a real ladies dude. He'd slept with half the women in London. I introduced him to him and he went wild over D. Hugging him, swinging him in his arms, following him around like a fly. All D ever did was just say hello and talk to him. Nothing more than friendly. Same happened with another guy he met somewhere. This dude even had a girlfriend. Over a few months he was kissing D everywhere but the lips, touching him everywhere. D never followed through with anything more than serious flirting. I think it made he guy very sad.
People have noticed D's effect on guys. I have no idea what it is AT ALL. He is gorgeous but it can't be that. A friend of mine (not bi or straight) said something about him having bedroom eyes. It's like he's just stripping you off with just a look. A certain coldness in his eyes. D doesn't really like sex at all, it's something ''you have to do for the guy and get it over with as soon as possible''. He goes mad for romance though and the sexual attention. I've no idea how D does it - his personality is very 'I don't give a damn' so maybe when he does zone in to a person it feels highly intoxicating. He also has the most liberal and open sense of humour of anyone I've ever met. I'm really not sure what is is he has - I thought I'd share anyway. It's interesting I hope :)
 

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Straight guys maybe can discern D's indifference to them and energetically they are not repelled but actually drawn to him. I do think that self-possession can be very intoxicating for the other person. It's a sense of security that one covets. I wish that I could have that but alas ironically I am indifferent to the guys that are drawn to me and the ones that I like are indifferent to me. I need to be more D in my outlook.
 

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"D"/My happy, single, gay friend's not after straight men. He's approached by bisexual or straight (closeted bi/gay?) and NEVER openly gay men. In a club a ladies man hugged and followed D like a fly after I introduced them. Another man he met touched & kissed D for 2 months. As D didn't follow suit the guy was saddend - I think. D's gorgeous, has bedroom eyes.. He dislikes sex, but will tolerate it to please a guy and want it to end as quickly as possible. He's mad for romance though and the attention. I've no idea how D does it - his personality is very 'I don't give a damn' so maybe when he does zone in to a person it feels highly intoxicating. He has the greatest sense of humor. I'm really not sure what is is he has. It's interesting I hope :)

You don't need to be mystified about what attractive power "D" has as you already summed up his positive attributes in your OP. I think it is wonderful that he has encountered so many confident, friendly, sociable men - men who are willing to fraternize with him and you too I might add - in Britain. He has more than enough men to enjoy life with. He doesn't have to be concerned about the gay persons who won't associate with him - and neither should you.
 
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You can’t be straight looking for sex with a gay person
well no, obviously not. they're clearly bisexual. but what i mean by ''straight'' is. a person who has zero attraction to men, or so he thought. he's not experienced it with anyone other guy but one. whilst most would classify that as bisexual still and i would agree, the straight label is more of what they think of themselves and therefore mostly are.
 

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Is the gay friend quite fem/pretty by any chance?

I had a similar situation at a house party recently. Was trying to hook up with a twink - quite fem, crop top, tiny waist. Classic twink look.

A straight guy was there hitting on the girls but getting no where. We’d been talking and I commented on how tiny the twinks waist was.

Anyway, later in the night - he’s still getting no where with the girls. I’m having no luck with the twink - and the straight guy leans over to me and says “I’m gonna fuck this boy - no hard feelings”. I was like “bro what? You’re straight” and he just replied “tiny waist though, right?” and winked.

As I left the party they were hooking up on the kitchen. So that was my first experience of being cock blocked by a straight guy.

Ultimately - I think what’s happening is that with younger straight guys the stigma around having sex with men is lessening so “straight” guys who always would have previously had sex with men as part of their sexual diet are just more emboldened to be open about it. Particularly if they can rationalise it as “oh well I topped and they are fem - so I was still The Man”

Honestly, so much of my grindr feed is men who identify as straight looking for trans/fem/sissy. It’s the same thing.
 
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TWINKTON

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Is the gay friend quite fem/pretty by any chance?

I had a similar situation at a house party recently. Was trying to hook up with a twink - quite fem, crop top, tiny waist. Classic twink look.

A straight guy was there hitting on the girls but getting no where. We’d been talking and I commented on how tiny the twinks waist was.

Anyway, later in the night - he’s still getting no where with the girls. I’m having no luck with the twink - and the straight guy leans over to me and says “I’m gonna fuck this boy - no hard feelings”. I was like “bro what? You’re straight” and he just replied “tiny waist though, right?” and winked.

As I left the party they were hooking up on the kitchen. So that was my first experience of being cock blocked by a straight guy.

Ultimately - I think what’s happening is that with younger straight guys the stigma around having sex with men is lessening so “straight” guys who always would have previously had sex with men as part of their sexual diet are just more emboldened to be open about it. Particularly if they can rationalise it as “oh well I topped and they are fem - so I was still The Man”

Honestly, so much of my grindr feed is men who identify as straight looking for trans/fem/sissy. It’s the same thing.
Ouch re the cock block. But no, he's not very fem. He's very childlike and ''adorable'' he's told. but as hard as nails and very tough. He can make a tough person cry with his insults lmao. He's somewhat fem but many think he's straight when he's not. He's even had some girls like him too.
 

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Ouch re the cock block. But no, he's not very fem. He's very childlike and ''adorable'' he's told. but as hard as nails and very tough. He can make a tough person cry with his insults lmao. He's somewhat fem but many think he's straight when he's not. He's even had some girls like him too.
“Adorable” sounds like the bait though.

Ouch indeed. I was so horny and angry.

If you’re a top, the last thing you need is to be competing with straight guys. Because the bottoms will always see the straight guys are more taboo/more of a novelty/more inherently masculine. It sucks.
 

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“Adorable” sounds like the bait though.

Ouch indeed. I was so horny and angry.

If you’re a top, the last thing you need is to be competing with straight guys. Because the bottoms will always see the straight guys are more taboo/more of a novelty/more inherently masculine. It sucks.
it just makes me laugh that D can't stand sex and yet attracts it more than ANYONE i know. Even his most desperately horny friends are LIVID. it's hilarious.
 

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To sum it up, he is blessed with something that is ruthless in its own way and that is CHARM. However you want to classify it, whether it be looks, bedroom eyes or perfect sense of humor. The type of guy that can make a nun sweat without even trying.

I bet he actually craves sex, but he knows he's different when it comes to sex. He's probably not the type that would ever want a hookup that resulted in immediate sex. I bet he requires slow romance and a ton of kissing, petting and mind-blowing foreplay. Just a different breed.

Wish I could see a pic of him, just his eyes alone.
 
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Sooooo weird man you could be talking about me and I even have the same initial. Although I tend to attract mostly women. Geordie so rough, check; visceral and scary when angry, check; hopeless romantic; way too childlike; not massively sex driven; eyes that pop when I have a tan; dudes telling me I’m “a very attractive guy” in straight bars; straight guys in gym smiling a lot and “posing” around me etcetera etcetera check check check!!!!

Sounds like I’m being an arsehole narcissistic nob but I swear I am not!!
 

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Sooooo weird man you could be talking about me and I even have the same initial. Although I tend to attract mostly women. Geordie so rough, check; visceral and scary when angry, check; hopeless romantic; way too childlike; not massively sex driven; eyes that pop when I have a tan; dudes telling me I’m “a very attractive guy” in straight bars; straight guys in gym smiling a lot and “posing” around me etcetera etcetera check check check!!!!

Sounds like I’m being an arsehole narcissistic nob but I swear I am not!!
nope, i like you bigging yourself up. better than fake humbleness. you sound fun!! i like ya
 
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Over two-thirds of men with queer dimensions are not homosexual and/or they are DL or closeted. That’s the majority of men with queer dimensions. This idea that most dudes are unabashedly out nowadays is a fallacy. Therefore, many out guys will experience quite a few dudes hitting on them who are DL or closeted or not overall homo-leaning. It’s really not unusual. It’s especially the case if you live in the States and are in the mid-west or the south. Also, “sexuality” isn’t all that basic. Everyone has their own thing going on. Many people experience fluidity, curiosity, contradictions, fetishes, paraphiliacs, hyper-sexuality, low sex drive, etc. While the gender, sexual, affection, romantic, emotion, commitment spectrum is wide and varied as hell. And we all know how much men are still driven sociology, ego, insecurities and acceptance.

So, yes, mostly getting hit on by men who are not gay-presenting or who are closeted/DL is still common as hell.
 

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Over two-thirds of men with queer dimensions are not homosexual and/or they are DL or closeted. That’s the majority of men with queer dimensions. This idea that most dudes are unabashedly out nowadays is a fallacy. Therefore, many out guys will experience quite a few dudes hitting on them who are DL or closeted or not overall homo-leaning. It’s really not unusual. It’s especially the case if you live in the States and are in the mid-west or the south. Also, “sexuality” isn’t all that basic. Everyone has their own thing going on. Many people experience fluidity, curiosity, contradictions, fetishes, paraphiliacs, hyper-sexuality, low sex drive, etc. While the gender, sexual, affection, romantic, emotion, commitment spectrum is wide and varied as hell. And we all know how much men are still driven sociology, ego, insecurities and acceptance.

So, yes, mostly getting hit on by men who are not gay-presenting or who are closeted/DL is still common as hell.
I think being European has a lot to do with it. Sex is far less taboo here. People are a bit more open and honest about it.
 

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I think being European has a lot to do with it. Sex is far less taboo here. People are a bit more open and honest about it.

Religion, hetero expectations and toxic masculinity is still a thing in Europe, especially in certain countries. Also, I was saying it was more likely to get hit on by straight-presenting, DL, closeted dudes if you live in the south or mid-west of America not less likely.

No matter where you live in the world, straight-presenting, DL, or closeted dudes hitting on guys is not uncommon. It’s just a bit more common in certain areas. Hell, half of the guys on gay dating apps are straight-presenting, closeted or DL in “real life”. At least half of the dudes who regularly post in this forum are probably not unabashedly out/fully direct about their queer aspects in “real life”. We still have a ways to go as far as fully understanding and accepting the dimensions of sexuality, fluidity, curiosity, contradictions, fetish, hyper-sexuality, the gender, sexual, affection, romantic, emotion, commitment spectrum. And a great percentage of men (no matter where they live) will always feel burdened by religion, phobias, insecurities, mental health struggles. The general point is getting hit on by dudes who are not unabashedly queer is regular, degular stuff.
 

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Religion, hetero expectations and toxic masculinity is still a thing in Europe, especially in certain countries. Also, I was saying it was more likely to get hit on by straight-presenting, DL, closeted dudes if you live in the south or mid-west of America not less likely.

No matter where you live in the world, straight-presenting, DL, or closeted dudes hitting on guys is not uncommon. It’s just a bit more common in certain areas. Hell, half of the guys on gay dating apps are straight-presenting, closeted or DL in “real life”. At least half of the dudes who regularly post in this forum are probably not unabashedly out/fully direct about their queer aspects in “real life”. We still have a ways to go as far as fully understanding and accepting the dimensions of sexuality, fluidity, curiosity, contradictions, fetish, hyper-sexuality, the gender, sexual, affection, romantic, emotion, commitment spectrum. And a great percentage of men (no matter where they live) will always feel burdened by religion, phobias, insecurities, mental health struggles. The general point is getting hit on by dudes who are not unabashedly queer is regular, degular stuff.
I presume "straight-presenting" is another way of saying "not straight" or another way of saying bisexual or gay. I'm a fan of "straight-talk" so why not just use the words describing who they are? And if "straight-presenting" means "I claim to be straight but I'm not straight" then why not just call them "liars?"
 

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I presume "straight-presenting" is another way of saying "not straight" or another way of saying bisexual or gay. I'm a fan of "straight-talk" so why not just use the words describing who they are? And if "straight-presenting" means "I claim to be straight but I'm not straight" then why not just call them "liars?"
It's not a way of saying any of the things you suggest. Very harsh to label those battling with their sexual orientation as liars (from my perspective). It actually means gay or bi people who carry themselves in a masculine way rather than conducting themselves in an effeminate manner.
 
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Vertigo1814

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If I had sex with a bio or trans woman for the first time next week, it wouldn’t make me a bi man or a straight man. It would make me a gay man who happened to have sex with a woman once. Loads of gay men have had sex with women and call themselves gay men.

We should extend the same grace to straight men.
 
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geordie-bloke

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nope, i like you bigging yourself up. better than fake humbleness. you sound fun!! i like ya
That's very kind of you to say, Twinkton, but I honestly wasn't trying to big myself up at all. I just saw so much of me in your description.

I mean, having a relatively low sex drive and being romantiocally oriented doesn't exactly make me a catch. I would like to think that I am indeed fun as I too have a completely non-PC sense of humour that targets the puffs as much as anyone ot anything else, often laughing with said target. But I'm as inclusive a Geordie as you're ever likely to meet. Screw that, I'm one of the most kind and inclusive people you could meet, no matter where the competition lies. I also have a massive nob. Huge. But I'm not trying to big myself up here honestly!

PS. Humongous! ;):p
 

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It's not a way of saying any of the things you suggest. Very harsh to label those battling with their sexual orientation as liars (from my perspective). It actually means gay or bi people who carry themselves in a masculine way rather than conducting themselves in an effeminate manner.
It never occurred to me that "gay or bi people" could not carry themselves in a masculine way rather than conducting themselves in an effeminate manner. It is a pity it occurs to them and others. More is the pity a new term has to be concocted to validate their personality among groups who similarly identify sexually. Straight men could care less. Inso far as your statement about "harsh" labeling, I reject your admonition in favor of "keeping it real." I don't think the people you ostentatiously defend are as delicate as you think.