I'm telling this story cuz its funny, not because I have questions. This friend I have, we'll call him T, is my next door neighbor. He's kind of a prick but mostly okay. He has always considered me a super nerd and has on occasion tried to make himself feel better at my expense. However he's discovered that I've gotten laid way more than he has since we met a couple years back, and that bothers him in general. That's just some background info. About a year ago, T, a friend of his, and I were at a local club. I am not into picking up women at bars, that's just not my style. In fact I find a lot of the tactics stupid and funny. Anyways they're talking to these older women at the bar, T says he's a DJ (he is, but an awful one) and our friend says he's a drummer (he is, but that's not how he makes his living). I am finding this all amusing because its obvious these claims are their versions of "I have a bigger cock than what's actually true." The two women, neither of whom I'm attracted to, ask me "so he's a DJ and he's a drummer, what do you got?" My reply? "I've got a big cock." maybe I'm an asshole for saying that but I figure I was in similar company anyways. The two women dismissed us all, which was fine with me. Little did I know, my big cock statement made T jealous. He was already jealous I got more action than him and this was just one more thing. The other day the three of us are hanging out again and T days something fantastically stupid to me, "hey, I just discovered the condoms I was using don't fit, so I had to get bigger ones. Do you want my old ones?" Yeah, right. That was a total my-dick-is-bigger-than-yours statement. The guy is 36. He can't possibly have been using the wrong sized condoms all these years. Dude has issues. All I could say was, "I don't need your pinky condoms you never use cuz you try way too hard to get laid." I really hope the douchebag tries to use magnums to make himself feel better only to have it slip off his dick or just not fit snug at all and the girl laughs at him. Man some people can be pathetic!