My friend is more beautiful than me

[culattona]

Hi, I don’t know why I’m posting this but I need to just vent about this situation.
My friend is more beautiful than me. He’s muscular, has a prettier face and a better personality. I’m just a skinny twink with no masculine energy.
Every time we go out everyone just keeps looking at him and trying to flirt with him. I feel invisible and I try to sabotage his flirting success.
Tonight I broke down and told him about how I feel. I felt really bad. I don’t want to ruin our friendship just because I’m jealous of the attention he gets. What can I do? I thought about breaking our friendship but he’s the only friend I have and I honestly love talking and having fun with him.
He told me that I shouldn’t care about the attention I’m not getting and that he felt the same way years ago and decided to go the gym to be a better version of himself.
I agreed with him just to not discuss but I don’t think the body has to do anything with the situation. I feel like shit. I just want to be at the center of the attention for once. I feel ashamed for letting this emotions ruin this night.
I always feel ugly and try to get validation from other people. And when I see him getting all the attention I get depressed. Please, tell me what can I do.

 

[erpap]

Wish I had words of advice. I alway feel my partner gets more attention than I do and it takes my confidence to a low level. I hope you can find peace with this. It’s hard.

 

[Brodie888]

There are always those who are more and less gifted in the world than what we are. Sometimes we need to remember to be grateful for what we have, even if it's as simple as having our health or not being born in a third world country.

There's no point being jealous about guys attracted to your friend because the guys he is attracting are in a different lane than you. As a friend you should be happy for him.

You need to understand that you are someone's type probably many people's type and they will want you over your friend. Being more niche takes more time but usually the connection will be less superficial.

Work on your strengths rather than your weaknesses. Once you get to know your strengths and use them, others will notice them and be drawn to that.

 

[Sagittarius84]

Please, tell me what can I do.

He told me that I shouldn’t care about the attention I’m not getting and that he felt the same way years ago and decided to go the gym to be a better version of himself.

I agreed with him just to not discuss but I don’t think the body has to do anything with the situation. I feel like shit.

You asked, he answered, but you don't like the solution?
People get really hung up on the bodybuilding aspect of going to the gym, cognitively dissonant that bigger muscles and "better looking" bodies are consolation prizes, more often a happy accident of the process.
This might not translate over to gay world as much, but amongst most straight men, already aesthetically rated as about 85% physically unattractive as per straight women, other traditionally masculine aspects are things you want to wallow in in order to perhaps trip other attraction triggers that speak to a sensual and desirable masculinity. Discipline is sexy, adherence to productive structure is sexy, even how we stand or walk ,our posture, signals desirable masculine traits....I too in my early 20's got wrangled into the gym by a coworker, took a very long time to gain visible muscle...took one month of consistency to have my posture and walk start getting unsolicited interest from female coworkers and superiors alike, in two months gay coworkers/superiors(fully aware of my strict heterosexuality) were shooting their shot in subtle ways. If the coworker I started cheating on my gf with hadn't turned out to be such a kindred spirit, I was on the way to developing a veritable harem of available hookups within a year and I maybe had gained 5lb of muscle(probably more water weight actually).
Your friend has offered you the solution, your real question should be why you don't want to take it.

 

[rudi13]

That happens to all of us, everyone has a friend who is better looking and get the attention.

So you can ask your friend to help you start gym and also focus what is your strong point to get the attention.

ALso i had a slim body, twink so i use my strong points, I speak more about technology, sport, astronomy things that i know that other didn't follow and so i use my intelligence to get more attention

Also make jokes because that attract people more.


Does it works with girls? Not with all because they like good looking guy, but guys like me a lot.

 

[Snakebyte]

I mean your friend literally told you one way to get more attention. And yes, working out definitely helps.
On the other hand you need to work on your self-esteem since right now you link your worth to external validation. That's never healthy. Then again the gym could help you with exactly that.

 

[thenart88]

I was in a similar and in fact in a worse situation. I was basically my friends pet. I ended the friendship, I don't regret it

 

[chrisrobin]

Hi, I don’t know why I’m posting this but I need to just vent about this situation.
My friend is more beautiful than me. He’s muscular, has a prettier face and a better personality. I’m just a skinny twink with no masculine energy.
Every time we go out everyone just keeps looking at him and trying to flirt with him. I feel invisible and I try to sabotage his flirting success.
Tonight I broke down and told him about how I feel. I felt really bad. I don’t want to ruin our friendship just because I’m jealous of the attention he gets. What can I do? I thought about breaking our friendship but he’s the only friend I have and I honestly love talking and having fun with him.
He told me that I shouldn’t care about the attention I’m not getting and that he felt the same way years ago and decided to go the gym to be a better version of himself.
I agreed with him just to not discuss but I don’t think the body has to do anything with the situation. I feel like shit. I just want to be at the center of the attention for once. I feel ashamed for letting this emotions ruin this night.
I always feel ugly and try to get validation from other people. And when I see him getting all the attention I get depressed. Please, tell me what can I do.

Just think ahead to when he gets old and his hair falls out, his muscles go and his belly sags and mastodon tracks where most people end up with crows feet - while you have a full head of hair nd a nice slight perfect figure.