My friends' sexuality.

Discussion in 'Show Off' started by Vigilante, Jan 6, 2007.

  1. Vigilante

    Vigilante New Member

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    Well, this has boggled me since it has happened. First off, I am openly bisexual with my friends. I have this one friend who has a very nice package, which I have sucked on one occassion and gave him a handjob on another. He claims he isn't gay, or not even bi, but sometimes he just acts soo freaking gay, it makes me straight. Do you think its possible he is bisexual? I mean, he has a gorgeous girlfriend, but even when we just hang out, hes said this as we were driving down to Milwaukee. " What would you do if I pulled down my pants right now." He just does stuff like this all the time. I honestly don't think hes just horny, but maybe he has a thing for me. I don't want to hit on him if he isn't gay, so do you guys think hes a closet case or something? If something could happen, I want it too, but if he is straight, I don't want to bother, although fooling around is fun with him though.
     
  2. missbec

    missbec New Member

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    wow, you even gave him hand and head. impressive to be a friend i dare say. If he has let you do that then there is definately a sign of bi curiousness. He's figuring out whether he likes it or not. Most other guys who are straight woudnt even joke about that stuff let alone allow your male friend to do it! Have some fun and next time he cheekily remarks about his dick... you tell him what you'll do!
     
  3. Vigilante

    Vigilante New Member

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    Lol, alright I will do that.

    Also, the two times when I did those things to him, he said it was weird, and I dunno, I do think he liked it. I always say to myself though, time will tell.
     
  4. missbec

    missbec New Member

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    hes amazingly open about his sexuality though! you're a lucky guy...or maybe hes the lucky one for having you... As you did say, time will tell! Good luck!
     
  5. fortiesfun

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    If it looks like a duck, and it quacks like a duck...
     
  6. jeff black

    jeff black <img border="0" src="/images/badges/gold_member.gi

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    Isn't it possible he is just a guy who likes getting off? I mean, his friend is giving him a blowjob. Perhaps he is comfortable enough to just sit back and enjoy it.

    He doesn't seem to have a problem with Bisexuals as he is close to the OP. It is possible he is just seeing how far he can push his boundaries.
     
  7. dreamer20

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    Don't be so obsessed with labels Vigilante.
    If fooling around with him is fun, then get to it lad!:biggrin1:
     
  8. Mr. Snakey

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    Dont question it. Be happy and enjoy your friend. You are a lucky man:wink:
     
  9. Principessa

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    Oh please! He is on the down low or bi. Most likely DL.


    As a straight woman this 20%, 30%, 40% gay man thing is
    kinda odd; and definetely confusing. Just say you are bi!
    Or say you or gay! The waffling back and forth when you are in an
    allegedly, committed relationship with a woman is ridiculous.

    njqt466


     
  10. jeff black

    jeff black <img border="0" src="/images/badges/gold_member.gi

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    I wasn't excusing his choices, or agreeing with them NjQt. I was just informing you that there are guys out there who just want to get off. They don't care who, they dont' care how.
     
  11. Principessa

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    Point taken. In Jersey we call these guys himbo's or manwhores'.


     
  12. jason_els

    jason_els <img border="0" src="/images/badges/gold_member.gi

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    Hi Vig, welcome to LPSG!

    I think your friend could use some help.

    Your friend sounds like he has some serious conflicts going on within him. He may be gay or bi but unable to admit it to himself. That happened to me. It was really confusing and I couldn't admit it to anyone because I'm very straight-acting and nobody remotely suspected.

    It took me forever to work it out. Maybe it did for you too but you're younger and things are more open these days. See, I had sex with a girl and thought I was straight. Then I had sex with a guy and thought I was experimenting. Then I had more sex with guys while having sex with girls. Huh??

    Well am I straight or am I gay? Which is it?? Why can't I tell? I went to a gay bar and realized this isn't me at all. Then I went to a straight pick-up bar and that wasn't me either. Seems conservative-looking, preppy Jason was pusuing an alternative lifestyle before it was fashionable. I didn't feel comfortable with ANY label I was stuck with and it took me a long time to figure out it was the labelers who were screwy, not me.

    You're not like your friend. Maybe you had a more accepting family or just more self-esteem. Maybe it's your sign of the zodiac. Whatever the reason, your friend is going through some very deeply personal issues that are extremely difficult to face. You can bet he's wondering what's going on too. He's got a hot girlfriend, admiration from his friends for it, probably his family too. What if he walked in the door with you on his arm?

    If he's one of your best friends, someone you know very well, then find a time when you're alone together and just tell him that you appreciate him and that you appreciate him too. Then tell him all about how you discovered you were bi, what it felt like, what you went through with your family, and you're happy you have friends who accept that. Tell him what it felt like, how difficult or easy it was, and how important it was to have friends who care about you and how you don't have to front for them.

    That's all. Doing this tells him he's important to you and he doesn't have to pretend he's something he's not. But it will also tell him that the feelings of confusion are common and he's not alone either. Some people have a very hard time admitting their sexuality to themselves because they feel they're letting themselves down, not just their family and friends. Admitting that to another person is exceptionally difficult but you may want to say that's what you felt like too so he doesn't feel alone. It also helps to know that being bi isn't a switch. It doesn't mean you're straight one day or gay the next. You won't suddenly go from watching boxing matches to watching Design On A Dime. That being bi doesn't mean you necessarily want to engage in every straight or gay sex act there is. Some completely gay guys won't have anal sex, or will only have anal sex if they're in a particular position. Some completely straight guys won't go down on chicks. Let him know it doesn't work like that.

    This may be really hard for you and he may panic a bit or get upset, but reinforce, you're just talking about you. Either he'll break like an overwhelmed dam or he'll get angry and stomp off for a bit, or he'll just nod and think OK. At some point however, he'll appreciate how much you care and realize what a special friend he has in you.
     
  13. BiItalianBro

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    I said this in another post. I am bi....i admit it after allot of soul searching. He may just be comfortable with getting off with you or he may be into you. Dont get worked up over it.....we are animals and our sexuality is fluid. Just roll with it and dont get uptight over it.
     
  14. novice_btm

    Staff Member Moderator Gold Member

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    If it's confusing to you, think about how confusing it is to the people living it.

    Look, the guy could be a 100% flaming queen, but if he's not ready to deal with it, forcing him to choose a label is both detrimental, and just plain cruel. Between black and white, there are infinite shades of gray, yet people still insist that you choose BLACK, 50/50 GRAY, or WHITE, and with guys, there's often the additional insult of not being able to choose the GRAY, because others insist that there's no such thing. Whether people like it or not, sexuality is on this same wildly varying scale.
     
  15. novice_btm

    Staff Member Moderator Gold Member

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    Whoops, back to the original post...

    Just be what you are, a good friend. Be open, be understanding, but don't force the issue. That's not saying that you shouldn't answer what you'd do if he whipped it out, that's fine. What I mean is, don't insist on labeling the guy, don't make him say things he's not ready to say. Pressing the issues will probably make him push whatever feelings he's having even deeper down, and hiding them, ignoring them, and that's not healthy. These feelings could just be a passing curiousity, and he could decide that none of it is for him, or they could lead to an awareness of something he never considered before. Just go with the flow, and continue being a good friend.

    Look at it this way, every once in a while, I try Brussel sprouts. They just look like cute little cabbages, and I love cabbage. But try as I might, I don't like Brussel sprouts. I keep trying, but I still don't like them. And just because I've tried a vegetable, or two, also doesn't mean "oh, he must be vegan". People try things. We're curious. Sometimes we like them, sometimes we don't.
     
  16. jason_els

    jason_els <img border="0" src="/images/badges/gold_member.gi

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    Agreed, Brussels sprouts look much better than they are. I can't take more than three at a single sitting.
     
  17. D_Bob_Crotchitch

    D_Bob_Crotchitch New Member

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    Who knows what is going on in your friend's mind? He may not even know himself. Let it take it's course and be patient. These things take time. If you push too hard, you may lose him as a friend.

    Contrary to an earlier post, I know straight guys that do gay joking stuff. They aren't bi, they are just joking. Personally, I think we may have a natural dominant sexual leaning but the potential to be bi is there.
     
  18. Vigilante

    Vigilante New Member

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    Well, I have found out, even straight guys that joke around to be gay, have experimented with other guys. It is just something weird like that, when I joke around with real straight guys, they don't joke about gay things at all, where as the fake str8s joke all the time.

    Thnx for your help all. Greatly appreciated.
     
  19. contortionist

    contortionist New Member

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    I had a friend who was always ready to masturbate me when we were younger. As far as I was concerned a hand is a hand and a mouth is a mouth and I've had a few guys jerk me off. any more than that is a complete no-no. If my friend was gay he had to realise the action stopped with my penis!
     
  20. NIMBUS

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    I'm exactly the same. Trading a hand job with a mate, for instant relief, doesn't mean (a) that I want to kiss them or (b) that I want to have sex with them. A bit of fooling around can be fun, as long as you both understand the boundaries.
     
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