My g/f is scared to have sex

Epsilonchi

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Im in bad shape. the woman and i have been having sex for a few months, then she had to go home for a month (we have apartments right by school) now that she's back, she's afraid to have sed! she says that it hurt sometimes, and since we havent had sex in such a long time, it will hurt her. :-( ive talked to her abou this several times, and she's not convinced that there is a way that we could have sex without it hurting. this is starting to piss me off, frankly. is there something i could tell her, or somthing i could try out (besides lube) that can help out here? my "problem" is girth, not lengh, btw.
 

Pecker

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Looks like she's givin' ya the old heave ho. There's another dick in the mix.

The 'hurts when we have sex' thing is just an excuse to end the relationship.
 

Epsilonchi

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Originally posted by Pecker@Jul 12 2005, 08:12 PM
Looks like she's givin' ya the old heave ho. There's another dick in the mix.

The 'hurts when we have sex' thing is just an excuse to end the relationship.
[post=328611]Quoted post[/post]​

um, what? when she was home, she had breast reduction surgery.(she still has D's) AND ive seen her every weekend when she was home. so the theory of there being another "dick in the mix" is very unlikely
 

Dr Rock

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Originally posted by Epsilonchi@Jul 12 2005, 07:22 PM
is there something i could tell her, or somthing i could try out (besides lube) that can help out here?
[post=328600]Quoted post[/post]​
not really, no. if she don't wanna do it, she don't wanna do it. there are plenty of things you could "try out" which are guaranteed to piss her off, but nothing that will help resolve your problem. it's her decision; if it bothers you that much, there are plenty of folks out there who DO wanna have sex, so go do it with some of them instead.
 

Karen M

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Epsilonchi, I have to ask this because I've seen it before. Has your girlfriend lost all the sensitivity in her nipples because of her surgery? I can only speak for myself, but for me sex is unsatisfying without nipple stimulation, and reduction surgery frequently causes loss of feeling there. I have a cousin who had it happen to her and she's told me that her sex life has never been the same. Some women do get the feeling back eventually, but there's no way to predict whether that will happen or not.

I'm only suggesting this as one possibility.

Karen
 

Aruba 1st

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[post=328600]Quoted post[/post]​

1st of all,
Try to not waste your time commanding God.

2nd of all,
Cool it, Ace !
This probably won't be the first time a LadyBud will disappoint you - they're special.
Now, you were saying.........

I'm in bad shape. The woman and I have been having sex for a few months. She says that it hurt sometimes, and since we haven't had sex in such a long time, it will hurt her.
:-(
I've talked to her about this several times, and she's not convinced that there is a way that we could have sex without it hurting.

Good thing you don't love her; that you're simply using her for relief.

Now that she's had alone-time to give your (you two's) situation some thought - a relationship with you, Epsilonchi - may not be in her best interest.

This is starting to piss me off, frankly.

Being "PO'd" is not healthy, find another and exercise more strenuously.
There are two many "unknowns".
H-m-m-m-m-m.
Now that you've mentioned Frank.....

Is there something that can help out ?

Probably not.

My "problem" is girth, not length.
[post=328600]Quoted post[/post]​

[quote[She had breast reduction surgery[/quote]

There are many valid reasons for a woman to Not Want To have Sex.
Accept it.

Not related to your girth; but the surgery may have opened her eyes to a new "I Feel Fine !" world. She may not be as stressed - induced by carrying the prior load, she may see herself in a more positive light, may have reviewed her goals and determined to reach Higher !
Who knows.

Your best option would be to follow her lead and help her in any way you can.
If she asks - and it sounds as if she is doing so - you to bug off, make it so.
There's always the possibility of your getting back together.

Your future is up to You.
Hers is up to Her
 

citygirl

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I'm sorry to hear about your frustration, my guess is the surgery may have affected her sex drive. It sounds like you really love her, so you'll be willing to try and do whatever it takes to convince her. And given that you were already having sex with her for a few months, something you did back then worked!

Talking to her (during foreplay) and sensual touching (that means no mauling of the breasts) is half the battle, you have to get her in the mood so that she WANTS to have sex. Get her so worked up that she will beg you "Please fuck me!" This works for me - sometimes I'm too tired or not in the mood but my man really turns it up a notch and pretty soon I'll be begging for sex, its a game for him. ;)

Try not to be frustrated, it will only make it harder!
 

Epsilonchi

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she still ha feeling up there,it's actually more sensitive because the skin is tighter. (that will get better after a few weeks).We actually did have sex yesterday night :9
lots of foreplay helped immensely. After she was wet, i put some lube on me, and started slow. it did hurt her a little n the begining, but it went away after a minute or so. She loved it! Now she cant wait to have sex again B)
 

Shamrock

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[post=328600]Quoted post[/post]​

1st of all,
Try to not waste your time commanding God.

2nd of all,
Cool it, Ace !
This probably won't be the first time a LadyBud will disappoint you - they're special.
Now, you were saying.........

I'm in bad shape. The woman and I have been having sex for a few months. She says that it hurt sometimes, and since we haven't had sex in such a long time, it will hurt her.
:-(
I've talked to her about this several times, and she's not convinced that there is a way that we could have sex without it hurting.

Good thing you don't love her; that you're simply using her for relief.

Now that she's had alone-time to give your (you two's) situation some thought - a relationship with you, Epsilonchi - may not be in her best interest.

This is starting to piss me off, frankly.

Being "PO'd" is not healthy, find another and exercise more strenuously.
There are two many "unknowns".
H-m-m-m-m-m.
Now that you've mentioned Frank.....

Is there something that can help out ?

Probably not.

My "problem" is girth, not length.
[post=328600]Quoted post[/post]​

[quote[She had breast reduction surgery

There are many valid reasons for a woman to Not Want To have Sex.
Accept it.

Not related to your girth; but the surgery may have opened her eyes to a new "I Feel Fine !" world. She may not be as stressed - induced by carrying the prior load, she may see herself in a more positive light, may have reviewed her goals and determined to reach Higher !
Who knows.

Your best option would be to follow her lead and help her in any way you can.
If she asks - and it sounds as if she is doing so - you to bug off, make it so.
There's always the possibility of your getting back together.

Your future is up to You.
Hers is up to Her
[post=328691]Quoted post[/post]​
[/quote]

Listen Epsilonchi. Relationships are about discussing and
resolvingthings if there is a problem, not following leads like a dog. That's not
equal. You have a right to be pissed off if she's stone-walling you. Just saying
" I don't want to cause it will hurt." is just a lame excuse. If you're willing to try
and make the experience as easy as possible, which isn't hard. Lube, time, lots of
foreplay, and she still says no and won't discuss other options, then give her a choice: Talk and work this out, or bye bye. Simple.

I believe sexual compatibility is 50% of what makes a relationship work.
It its not working, move on!
 

Aruba 1st

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Originally posted by Madame_Zora@Jul 13 2005, 10:58 PM
Shamrock, read the above post, they already worked it out.
It would help to read the whole thread before replying, okay ?
[post=328996]Quoted post[/post]​

Excellent advice Madame_Zora.

However.
I believe Shamrock - as have others - feels challenged by
a perceived ‘attitude’ communicated by another LPSG Male
within his posts - which rankles, and resulted in a quick,
premature discharge. The Standard, Old, Everyday, Married
Gringo is familiar with the reaction and at ease with it.

By now he has caught up with this positively resolved
Thread Topic.

Every One of the helpful comments received here has
value and/or offers insight.
 

iggy

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Originally posted by Epsilonchi@Jul 13 2005, 09:58 PM
she still ha feeling up there,it's actually more sensitive because the skin is tighter. (that will get better after a few weeks).We actually did have sex yesterday night :9
lots of foreplay helped immensely. After she was wet, i put some lube on me, and started slow. it did hurt her a little n the begining, but it went away after a minute or so. She loved it! Now she cant wait to have sex again B)
[post=328788]Quoted post[/post]​


thats very nice to hear...
good luck and enjoy...