My gf wants to have a threesome with my big dicked friend....and I do too?

Viking_UK

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Despite the tone of some of the posts, I think you'll find most people on this site are genuinely friendly and some have genuinely good perspectives on a variety of topics from either life experience, personal knowledge, or professional studies.



So, you do have friends.

Now... there is one unwritten rule on how to make this type of site work for you: you should be truthful. I'm not saying that because you sound untruthful; I'm saying that because there are a handful of posts you can find where it is clear the OP was trying to incite an electronic riot by offending common sensibilities. Likewise, there are a handful of posts that were probably 'one-handed typing' exercises merely posted to satisfy the prurient interests of the OP while he rubbed one out.



Personally, I don't think that she just wants a bigger dick. I think she's bored. You haven't captured her imagination. There is a great blog post by member BBW36 called 'The Numbers Game' that you should read. You can find the entry here. It will make you think twice about size as a determiner of happiness (hers or yours).

You should also do away with the myths that "bigger" gives better orgasms or better feelings from sex. I have a friend who is seriously hung (at least 10") and he told me that he can count on one hand the number of women he has had sex with simply because he lacks the ability to understand how to make them happy sexually. I read that this way: he has no game, no technique, no mojo -- the je nais sais quoi quality necessary to understand how to please a woman.

Guys who believe "big dick" = "great sex" are thinking more about how cool it is to have a big dick and are engaging in one-sided thinking. There are women who LOVE big dicks, but in my experience, they actually love the ideal of a big dick more than a big dick. I do not know a single woman who will put a big cock ahead of good sex when it comes to selecting a partner. They may be out there, but I don't know them.

Finally, most woman don't leave a man over the size of his dick... women select mates / partners / potential husbands from a whole host of checklist items. If she does leave you, it wasn't about your dick. And if you do leave her, it won't be about your dick... it will be about insecurity, anxiety, distrust or something else. You can blame your dick, but the problem is in your head.



Sorry, but this seems like pointless self-pity. Are you telling me that you'd actually buy stock in the opinion of an ex? Of course she's going to say something hurtful like that; exes rarely possess the maturity to accept part of the blame, move on, and reflect positively on the experience. But don't be an idiot and buy into it. You should move on, too.



It seems to me that you have an excellent opportunity to engage one of your girlfriend's fantasies and maybe address some of your own. I can't imagine that her walking up behind you while you check out dick didn't generate a conversation. Use that kind of a situation to your advantage and tell her (honestly) why you were looking at it...



Forget about 'doing him' for a second... is that the reason you want to engage in this 3way? If so, you're doing it for the wrong reasons. That's just you using your girlfriend's pussy to justify your own selfish actions. Selfishness isn't allowed unless you're honest about it. Also, MFM liaisons rarely break out into porn-worthy man on man action. Most guys engaging in a MFM liaison are doing so because there is a female in the mix. That doesn't mean that your equipment isn't going to touch his at some point or that he will reject you offering up a little oral assistance while he's engaging some part of your girlfriend's anatomy. But -- generally -- most women assume that they are the center of the attention and I think a woman would be put off if she were gradually worked out of the picture during a MFM encounter. Likewise, most men would be freaked out if you started paying more attention to them than the woman in bed with you. A little contact is to be expected... a lot is not cool for anybody.



Good for you; however, you should recognize those experiences do tend to color your interests and you should be honest about them with your girlfriend. And here's why: it is your responsibility to make sure you are engaging in safe sex activities and NOT potentially exposing your girlfriend to STDs you may or may not have picked up along the way. Your "on the down low" activities can affect more than you and your "secret" partners. You're a grown-up, you ought to act like it.



Alcohol is not necessary for consensual sexual activity. If you want to risk your friendship with this guy, go ahead. But that whole idea of plying him with alcohol just seems stupid and fraught with potential risks.



If you are that good of friends, I would think you could broach this subject with him directly. I've had friends do that... in some cases, I knew that their interest was more about me than it was for their girlfriends/wives. But, the direct approach (for me, anyway) is the only approach I want to be involved in. Misreading or mistaking visual, verbal, or physical "cues" just have too many bad outcomes to follow up on them.

I really hope you're able to take my perspective, weight it, and use it to help make up your mind. But I see a lot of 'yellow flags' in your discussion of this topic that make me think you have more to tell your girlfriend before you approach your friend. There will be some people who will disagree with these points (and believe me, you'll hear from them) but I've had a few 3ways during my lifetime and the best ones were the ones that started off with everybody understanding up front what everybody else wanted out of the deal.

Good luck, samfro.

Great post. It sums up pretty much everything I'd have said.

Another thing to bear in mind is that engaging in sexual activity with your friends, whether or not there's any direct contact between you, does change the nature of your relationship with them. If you go ahead with a threesome, you risk losing both him and your girl, or becoming even closer. I'd say the best thing you can do to start with is to talk to your girl. Be honest. Find out what you both want. Try to spice up your relationship without introducing someone else. If she just wants to know what it feels like to have a humongous dick in her, get her a big dildo and take it from there.
However, if a threesome is what you both want, go for it, but, as I say, be sure you know what you're letting yourselves in for before you do it. Oh, and stay off the booze. You want everyone to be sober from the point of view of being fully aware of what they're doing so there's no comeback later and you also want to be able to enjoy the full experience (and remember it clearly).
 

D_Tim McGnaw

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Why? Things like that work for some people. If you don't feel ownership.


I'm not saying they don't but I'm saying there's an extremely high chance that the situation could turn to rat shit. The guy admits to being insecure and jealous about his GF. The attraction to the friend and all the rest is a recipe for disaster. I'm sure plenty of people could pull this off, but considering the facts in evidence and the strong likelihood it could go tits up I think they'd be better off inviting a stranger in if they want a threesome.
 

B_dxjnorto

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The attraction to the friend
Well, he hasn't talked about whether the friend would be into him or not, but honestly if a dude is willing to have a MFM, there's got to be some level of comfortability there. But I guess it hasn't been suggested to the friend yet. I'm losing track of the story here.
 

D_Tim McGnaw

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Well, he hasn't talked about whether the friend would be into him or not, but honestly if a dude is willing to have a MFM, there's got to be some level of comfortability there. But I guess it hasn't been suggested to the friend yet. I'm losing track of the story here.


Yeah it's not really a mechanics or logistics thing, I'm sure they can all fuck each other if they want, it's about how everyone feels about it, themselves and one another afterwards that matters. And considering some of the variables the OP mentions it just sounds like a post-coital headfuck waiting to happen.
 

8wayup

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It could work if you are into on open relationship or are into the lifestyle. She is interested in him physically so at some point she will sleep with him whether you are involved or not. If you are attracted to him and he is not interested you will alienate him. More often than not these end poorly and you will be talking to yourself for a few months after it goes south.
 

B_dxjnorto

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It could work if you are into on open relationship or are into the lifestyle. She is interested in him physically so at some point she will sleep with him whether you are involved or not. If you are attracted to him and he is not interested you will alienate him. More often than not these end poorly and you will be talking to yourself for a few months after it goes south.
If it's going to happen anyway, may as well be involved, set aside guilt, mindfuck, regrets - go in eyes open.
 

Viking_UK

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She is interested in him physically so at some point she will sleep with him whether you are involved or not.

Not necessarily. Some people have morals and/or can exercise restraint. Just because you're attracted to someone, it doesn't necessarily follow that you will have sex with them.

Controlling impulses and taking responsibility for your own actions and behaviour is part of being an adult.
 

ColoradoGuy

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Not necessarily. Some people have morals and/or can exercise restraint. Just because you're attracted to someone, it doesn't necessarily follow that you will have sex with them.

Controlling impulses and taking responsibility for your own actions and behaviour is part of being an adult.

I agree with Viking_UK here and I've said it before on this site in other contexts: just because you can, doesn't mean you should. However, it should be noted that adults do take part in activities like three-ways and that type of activity can be part of someone's responsible actions.
 

samfro

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pm me if you are interested in an update
 
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