My girlfriend Past

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by D_Elwald Harribum, Jun 29, 2009.

  1. D_Elwald Harribum

    D_Elwald Harribum Account Disabled

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    So my girlfriend and I have been together for about 7 years and have a 4 year old daughter. Our relationship is good and we are love each other very much. Last Saturday we both got really drunk and made the big mistake of talking about our sex lives and past partners. We are both adults and I understand that she has had allot sex in her life, so the idea although somewhat gross to me is what it is. The only issue I have is about six years ago we broke up for about a week. At the time she told me that she had fooled around with a female friend of ours while tripping on ecstasy. We were broken up at the time so what could I say she was a adult and there was no infidelity. Well on Saturday for some drunken this came up again and she told me that there were two other guys involved and after she and our female friend had sex she watched as here friend was fucked by the two guys. I know she had no obligation to tell me anything since we were not together at the time I cannot help, but feel a little weirded out. I have decided never to bring it up again with her. In a way it does turn me on, but it has changed my opinion of her a little. I just want to know what other members think about the situation.
     
  2. Countryguy63

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    Bud, you are either being to hard on her, yourself, or both.

    She was honest with you. You guys had an open discussion. Open communication and discussions like that should totally enhance your relationship, not hinder it.

    Why did it change your opinion of her? You said yourself, there was no infidelity. Don't shove it under the carpet. Look at what is bothering you, and face it. If you need to, a counselor can be a great 3rd party to help sort things out.

    You both love each other and have a great relationship. That's hard to come by these days. Embrace it.
     
  3. ryan25yo

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    My opinion is to leave it alone. Marry her and be done with it.
     
  4. Principessa

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    THANK YOU!! What's with this nonsense of dating for 7 F'g years, having a kid, and NOT getting married?! :confused: That's total bullshit. :mad:

    You're weirded out because she watched a mutual female friend get fucked by two guys? :confused: Or because she admits to a lesbian experience? :confused: Would you feel better if the two guys did her also? :confused:

    Odd how you're a total prude about her sexual past, but you are cool with the whole living in sin thing. :irked: :rolleyes:
     
  5. Wish-4-8

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    Reminds me of a Beavis and Butthead episode where one tells the other, "tell me something I dont know"
    "Ok, the last time you went to the bathroom, I hawked a loogie in your soda, and you drank it"

    Some time passes...
    They start ragging on each other and one asks the other again: "tell me something I dont know" But then he stops himself and says, "Uh, nevermind"

    The moral of the story is that sometimes it is better not to know, so dont ask. You might get an answer.
     
  6. BobLeeSwagger

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    Why would it bother you that she watched someone else have sex?
     
  7. funtimeinbed

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    I agree with njqt, would you feel better if she had sex with the two guys too. She didn't have to tell you anything but she did and she didn't do anything that terrible. I mean ecstasy is what I would be mad about if anything
     
  8. B_FruitFly

    B_FruitFly New Member

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    Seems to me like you are having the right response. If that is what she is being honest about, imagine what she is not telling you. I am losing hope in woman. I always thought them to be better than men, but i am realizing there perversions are on par with ours.
     
  9. D_Jerry_Atric

    D_Jerry_Atric Account Disabled

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    I agree with CG63.

    She has her past and you have your own.
     
  10. vlls

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    I wonder if she also participated with the other guys and is just leaving that part out.... totally sounds possible
     
  11. Pitbull

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    This is not helping.

    Supposed to be a support group
     
  12. bigmanstl

    bigmanstl New Member

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    i don't see the big deal. she had a lesbo fantasy (on X on less). she didn't get pounded by the other guy. no biggie. do a couple of things: (1)you 2 probably should stop drinking to excess and (2) marry her. You 2 have a kid together. It's the right thing to do.
     
  13. bravestarr

    bravestarr New Member

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    You know there's a problem, you know exactly what the problem is, and you understand what can and can not be done to resolve the problem, but you don't possess the desire or maturity to let it go.

    Plain and simple, she doesn't own a time machine. She can't go back in time and change her past, so no matter what opinion you have on her, her past will still be there whether she talks about it or not.

    This is why games like "I Never" and "Truth or Dare" are terrible games to play with girlfriends, boyfriends, or spouses around.

    Get over it. You and her need to stop talking about the past. What she did in the past is none of your business, and vice versa. The day you and her became an item is the day you should judge each other.

    Don't you have better thing to do with her than thinking nonsense in your head ....

    :smile:





     
  14. ranredd

    ranredd New Member

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    Same exact thought I had.....
     
  15. sandiasky9

    sandiasky9 Member

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    I am jealous of you on many levels. First, she is open, very much so. That is so cool. If one is going to stay hooked on just one person for rest of life then open communication is a real plus, if not a necessity. Second, she has a wild side. Oh my am I jealous! Third, all the boring but important stuff, she has been with you for so long so obviously digs ya.
     
  16. Capacity

    Capacity New Member

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    My girlfriend is a very secretive person but every now and again she lets slip details about her sexual past. I don't like it, but it is her past and if you were broken up at the point then you really can't say much about it. Move on and don't mention it again.

    Also, I don't know if these people are kidding but as for the 'living in sin thing', don't listen to them!
     
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