Xavian
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Thanks you two..
It's just tough. I'm really fearful of becoming that person that just unloads on everyone and claims he isn't responsible for his actions. Guess I need to shut up and let people closer already.
I don't know if this is my greatest flaw but i'll admit my sensitivity is both my blessing and curse in this life. On one hand, i've been told my ability to empathize with others appears to have no limitations. On the other hand, I find that some are idiot enough to think my tolerance of their unkindness, ignorance, and stupidity because i'm "sensitive" knows no boundaries. MZ mentioned the IQ factor and I must agree. I find that many who would be unkind or attempt to take advantage of others are those who are of above average intelligence and I find this more deplorable than if/when those same actions are from those who are more ignorant and foolish and mistakenly think they can pull a fast one on you.
The world is full of intelligent people. It's what they decide to do with their intelligence that makes all the difference in the world. Some of them are only concerned with themselves and not with the rest of the human race and they often display two traits I detest most in humans: dishonesty and unkindness. They're unnecessary, destructive, and ironically, require more work than their polar opposites.
I'm not advocating Precious Moments scenarios (insert teardrop eyes here) but reaching out to your fellow man or woman in need. I see too little of this and too many people who are disengenous, willfully ignorant, and malevolent. Open doors the for the elderly and pregnant. When someone asks your honest opinion, give it, even though your answer may seem harsh at first. Give an insecure person a heartfelt compliment. If someone is clearly struggling with a problem and you know you can help them, for fuck's sake, please do so. When someone has a different opinion than yours, listen, instead of becoming defensive. You might actually learn something.
Now if you'll excuse me, I need to channel my sensitivity productively and work on putting the above into practice for myself....
MB, I said that about intelligence ! LOL! Amen, Sister! Preach it, Preach it!
The world is full of intelligent people. It's what they decide to do with their intelligence that makes all the difference in the world. Some of them are only concerned with themselves and not with the rest of the human race and they often display two traits I detest most in humans: dishonesty and unkindness. They're unnecessary, destructive, and ironically, require more work than their polar opposites.
Gosh, talk about vulnerability here! Like MB, my flaw(s) can be a gift, as well.
My compassion. Often leads to enabling dependent behaviours in others. The worst thing is, sometimes I see myself doing it but don't stop. I do it a lot with men. I truly do feel compassion and caring for guys who are insecure, or feeling low- kicked around, beat up- you name it. I will comfort them and heal their wounds and try to make their pain mine. WAIT!! You see, THAT is what I do. I try to take everything upon myself- I am the "rescuer"-
Now, how can you not fall in love with me?
See where I've gone with this? And thats why I am single currently, and in therapy. The madness must stop.
YOu need to email me.There are lessons to be learned. Good girls dont have to finish last....
He is pretty modest, for a woman.
What a load of tripe. Obviously the OPs greatest flaw is his excessive modesty.
I share this flaw, and you described it with perfection.
While I have not yet arrived at being able to control it, to ANY degree, I do think I know its origin, and it is fear. Not fear of other people's stupidity, but fear of our own. No amount of testing, scholastic performance or job performance can seem to assuage our fear that we may look as stupid as Asshat to another onlooker. ...
I'm not advocating Precious Moments scenarios (insert teardrop eyes here) but reaching out to your fellow man or woman in need. I see too little of this and too many people who are disengenous, willfully ignorant, and malevolent. Open doors the for the elderly and pregnant. When someone asks your honest opinion, give it, even though your answer may seem harsh at first. Give an insecure person a heartfelt compliment. If someone is clearly struggling with a problem and you know you can help them, for fuck's sake, please do so. When someone has a different opinion than yours, listen, instead of becoming defensive. You might actually learn something.
Yes! Clearly this is it. You know, my mother always said that allnegative adult responses can be traced back either to fear, embarrassment, or both. I should have been able to see this.
So if the issue is fear of appearing stupid-by-association, or fear of never being smart enough, then I won't have as hard a time dropping this habit as I thought. I just need to remoind myself that I don't want to care about other people's perception of me. I have to remind myself that I don't want other people's opinions to dictate my actions. I can do this, it just won't be easy. At the same time, it's going to be easier than I thought.
I think I love you! Honestly, that line really made my heart swell up.
Give a goddamned homeless beggar a dollar and don't worry about what they do with it. It you "give" it to them, it's not yours anymore!
If your dear friend is crying and sad, take time off work and take them to lunch. Your job of meaningless bullshit will be there tomorrow.
Elderly people are lonely. Their kids treat them like dottering fools, or ignore them completely and no one's asked them their opinion on anything in a long time. Go make a friend, and let THEM do the talking. You'll be amazed.
Kids have "seen God" more recently than you have. They've been closer to whatever's on "the other side" of this life, at any rate. Ask a kid a grown up question, and watch them step up to the plate to answer. You might start having better days. I like to get kids away from their parents and ask them thing like if they have a boyfriend/girlfriend, have they ever stolen anything, or how they feel about the president, or war. Be a conspirator with a kid, they need to know someone is on their side. They don't have to be your kids, but pick one that you will be able to see regularly enough to get to know.
Young people are scared to make decisions. Empower them to trust themselves more fully.
Give something frivolous you own away to someone you don't know, and don't worry about what happens to it. Make sure that it is something you care about. Then, stop caring about things. This is a big one.
MB, you made my fucking day!
I think I love you! Honestly, that line really made my heart swell up.
Give a goddamned homeless beggar a dollar and don't worry about what they do with it. It you "give" it to them, it's not yours anymore!
If your dear friend is crying and sad, take time off work and take them to lunch. Your job of meaningless bullshit will be there tomorrow.
Elderly people are lonely. Their kids treat them like dottering fools, or ignore them completely and no one's asked them their opinion on anything in a long time. Go make a friend, and let THEM do the talking. You'll be amazed.
Kids have "seen God" more recently than you have. They've been closer to whatever's on "the other side" of this life, at any rate. Ask a kid a grown up question, and watch them step up to the plate to answer. You might start having better days. I like to get kids away from their parents and ask them thing like if they have a boyfriend/girlfriend, have they ever stolen anything, or how they feel about the president, or war. Be a conspirator with a kid, they need to know someone is on their side. They don't have to be your kids, but pick one that you will be able to see regularly enough to get to know.
Young people are scared to make decisions. Empower them to trust themselves more fully.
Give something frivolous you own away to someone you don't know, and don't worry about what happens to it. Make sure that it is something you care about. Then, stop caring about things. This is a big one.
MB, you made my fucking day!
I am going to print your post and frame it then stick it on my fridge. It will serve as a reminder every morning when I fix breakfast.
Some of the things you suggest are not easy, but you are so right and they are worthy of being reminded of regularly.