My head is screwed...

Discussion in 'The Healthy Penis' started by Kodak101, Apr 1, 2009.

  1. Kodak101

    Kodak101 Member

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    Well, at least sexually.

    Let me just share some backstory:

    My first relationship started in my senior year of highschool, ~half way through the year. Life was great, going to college, leading a somewhat sexual life, except in those days we never had sex, I just got a blow job at least once every other day. I was happy, she was reluctant to have sex, but that didn't matter, I was sexually satisfied for now.

    College rolls around, she stays home, I go to UCF (about a 2~3 hour drive from my home). So of course, we see each other ALOT less, but we work it out and we see each other every other weekend. This is when things got into sex. But the problem was, she was DEATHLY scared of getting pregnant. She didn't have birth control, and even when I had a condom on, she would freak after sex, and I NEVER came inside her. Never ever. She would have me check the condom after every sexual encounter just to make sure the shit didn't break.

    Ok, sure, weird right? I still got a blow job to finish, so I didn't really mind. Then, after sex, sometimes she would start to cry. This really fucked with my head. After asking why she was crying, she always gave bullshit answers or just said she was really emotional. After these few times (in a two and a half year relationship, we maybe had sex ~20 times), I got turned off from sex. So did she. She never got on birth control, and to this day hasn't seen a gynocologist (she's 21 right now).

    So, we end up broken up. A little less then a month of semi-depression, and bam, I find someone new. Someone much better for me. I've come to the conclusion that my first relationship was just to be in a relationship, and I was stupid to stay in it for so long. This girl though, EXTREMELY sexual (not in a slut way). She's on birth control, wants sex, no condoms needed, etc... faithful, good sense of humor, perfect imo.

    Now, when the sex comes up, I just can't perform. My head is so fucked from my first relationship that I just lose my boner. I don't have ED, I can maintain an erection easily, but whenever SEX comes up, I just start to think and it fucks me over.

    So, I come here asking advice, or maybe just sharing this anonymously will help me in some way. I just wish this problem never happened. Last night for example, we were just in bed doing a little foreplay with no intention of sex, I popped a huge boner, and right when she was about to get on top of me to ride me, I lost it due to my nervousness / mind thinking.

    Sorry to rant, but this shit is SO annoying. I wish I never met my ex, would never have this problem otherwise :(
     
  2. johnjacobs

    johnjacobs New Member

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    No worries, mate! A)I've been in the same situation as you with a couple of things here specifically the whole 'checking the condom' afterward deal. All I can really say to that is it's annoying as hell, BUT better safe than sorry. B)My advice for when you're getting down and dirty with your girlfriend is to just try and clear your mind as much as possible and think how you want her pleased and happy and how good you'll be making her feel when you're doing all that. I hope this helps.
     
  3. johnjacobs

    johnjacobs New Member

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    Also your head is not screwed up, you just have some sexual anxiety. Nothing more than an annoyance! Just try and concentrate on having fun and you'll get over it.
     
  4. Wish-4-8

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    It sounds like you developed a bad habit.
    The only way to get rid of a bad habit is by replacing it with another, or in this case, a good one.
    I guess you have to figure out what that is.
     
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