My husband likes me getting fucked

[Fredneck1951]

Jeanrose, any time you pursue a non-standard lifestyle you put stress on yourself, your spouse, your children, your extended family, your neighbors, etc. That means you have to be capable of withstanding all that stress. Since you've already embarked on this path, I hope you've got the means to deal with it, but since you're posting here on a public forum my guess is things are confused and getting more so. The first thing that gets thrown overboard, no surprise, is the niceties, the small things, the back rub, the foot massage, the kind words between two people, the things you're saying you're missing. You're developing some big appetites, sounds like he's developing an increasingly fetishistic approach to sex and whoa were did the love go?

From my own experience, back before you were born (if that's the 1978 reference in your handle), my wife and I discussed pursuing a similar lifestyle to the one you're into now. We didn't do it. I have to admit that for a while I thought I was missing something, maybe she thought she was missing something. Thirty years later, we both realize that we didn't miss anything at all.

I wish you courage and strength as you explore your life. If you and your husband are still together thirty years from now, I will be impressed.

 

[madame_zora]

Fredneck, that was an amazing post, thanks for sharing those very personal insights.

Jeanrose, I think the entire world of swingers exists for this very reason, open sexual relations within a marriage,you are certainly not alone. Many of our endowed members here have shared stories at some point about participating in such a scenario and having been chosen for their endowment. Oddly enough the reverse is very rarely true, ie women fantasing about seeing their husband fuck a big breasted woman. Men!

The thing about open relationships is that it has to be mutually consentual. If that is not YOUR definition of marriage, or if you find it disagreeable once you get into it, it is imperative that your relay those feelings to your spouse. Just the same, if it works for the two of you, then you have to be prepared for the aditional emotional and physical responsibilities such a decision will cause, but enjoy your life either way.

 

[amhersthungboi]

Okay, first Jean, I'll give you my regrets for thinking your post was fiction, and not taking it seriously. I think it is a real testament to your love of your husband that you are considering this issue at all, and seeking advice. Good for you.

I'll add a perspective that I don't think has been addressed. You mentioned that you have several children, and are concerned about the stress you might endure as a result of keeping your liasons a secret from your children. I think that's a legitimate concern. If one of your children were to find out about your "swinging" -- catch you in the act with one of the men, see his car in the driveway, or asks you where you're going at night, what would you say to him/her? Do you think you could honestly answer and be proud of yourself? It reminds me of a notion by a psychologist named David Elkind, who discussing "hurrying". Hurrying is a phenomenon when children are forced to face adult issues and consider adult situations and problems too soon; "hurried" children often endure considerable psychological stress. It seems that by indulging in your husband's fantasies -- out of love of your husband and concern for your marriage -- you might be opening a Pandora's box. Are you willing to take the risk that your children might find out about these rendez-vous, and be prepared to explain it to them? Might that be an example of rushing?

Be mindful of your husband and his desires, and the strength of your relationship; but, so too be mindful of your life's greatest charges: Your children. It seems like a careful balancing act to me.

 

[jeanrose1978]

There is a man who thinks he would like to be my husband if I can fulfil this very fantasy for him. He is especially interested in my gross expenditure of his money with the men I would be slutting around with. It's very important to him that I be very well dressed, and that I wear a very flashy wedding set on my left hand, even before we get married. Outside of this, he is a very sweet and vulnerable man. One I like very much and would like to date. The jury is out on the whole sleeping around part. Who knows?

Over the phone, tons of my clients have this fantasy. I'd say it's the second most popular request after corporal punnishment, and followed by forced feminization.

I don't think that automatically rejecting newbies, even suspicious ones is a good policy. People should be given the benefit of of the doubt. This is a

support group. Err on the side of showing support, yesno? Worst case scenario, you gave some attention to someone who obviously really needs it. I think it especially unwise/unkind to reject a public post based on gramatical errors and poor spelling. Most people do not speak or write english well- especially those for whom it is a primary language. Just ask any college professor or TA. I'm damn' near a genius, but I can't spell worth a damn'. I even mispell words I know very well. Sometimes I catch my errors, sometimes, I do not.

jeanrose,
Don't do anything that makes you uncomfortable. Communicate. Tell your husband what you are feeling and how much you love him. Don't assume that he knows how you feel. He's not as unusual as you might think. Do a google search for cuckhold. Read fiction stories and really accounts of people engaging in this fantasy. You may be able to come up with ideas for a compromise, things that will excite you both, and keep you from feeling unpleasantly. But the most important thing is to talk about how you feel with him. Good luck!

Thanks for the input I shall look it up. I am just curious of how many people are open to this subject. What I will expect to hear from other people in my community and what type of regection this may inflict. When my research has been well done I will make a thorough desision, thanks everyone for your point of views.

 

[jeanrose1978]

Okay, first Jean, I'll give you my regrets for thinking your post was fiction, and not taking it seriously. I think it is a real testament to your love of your husband that you are considering this issue at all, and seeking advice. Good for you.

I'll add a perspective that I don't think has been addressed. You mentioned that you have several children, and are concerned about the stress you might endure as a result of keeping your liasons a secret from your children. I think that's a legitimate concern. If one of your children were to find out about your "swinging" -- catch you in the act with one of the men, see his car in the driveway, or asks you where you're going at night, what would you say to him/her? Do you think you could honestly answer and be proud of yourself? It reminds me of a notion by a psychologist named David Elkind, who discussing "hurrying". Hurrying is a phenomenon when children are forced to face adult issues and consider adult situations and problems too soon; "hurried" children often endure considerable psychological stress. It seems that by indulging in your husband's fantasies -- out of love of your husband and concern for your marriage -- you might be opening a Pandora's box. Are you willing to take the risk that your children might find out about these rendez-vous, and be prepared to explain it to them? Might that be an example of rushing?

Be mindful of your husband and his desires, and the strength of your relationship; but, so too be mindful of your life's greatest charges: Your children. It seems like a careful balancing act to me.

That was very well put. I am conserned about my kids and without a doupt it is what holds me back. Children are a godsent and to me their approval and respect is more important than my husbands, and the people around me. They are quite young 3,5,6 but I know how much I remember as a child and things that I had seen when I was young clicked in over the years. I am glad you had shared this with me, it helps alot.

 

[jeanrose1978]

I wouldnt be so quick to discount it - there are some details in there that are true for a lot of us:




JeanRose, Do you feel pressure to get involved in this because maybe in the back of your mind you fear losing your husband if you dont? I dont want to be too intrusive (or presumptuous either) - but I have seen the results of women and men pandering to a partner for the sake of hoping that its enough to keep the relationship going and getting the fulfillment they hope will come of it. The things that are wrong with the relationship are not going to be resolved catering to fantasies and cheating.

For me - great sex between two people in a committed relationship should
not have to be about introducing someone else into the relationship even casually. In all honesty - I dont see the point in being married if sex with other people is high on the agenda...

It sounds like the two of you need to have a heart-to-heart about things that are perhaps not being discussed and I am with BronxBombshell:



Good luck and I hope things get sorted out in a way that you are comfortable with.

For the most part yes I feel pressured. I am a committed person and did have these feelings from the beginning of our relationship. After awhile I became used to the idea the more I read and heard about it, mostly from him, but now I want to see for myself whats really going on in other peoples minds.
When you only hear from one man's point of view your deception of things can become twisted. I know what swingers think but that is entirely different then a man enjoying the act of watching their wives getting it, or wanting them to go out and sleep with other men.

 

[B_insideoutside]

.

 

[Lordpendragon]

I have been with the same parter / monogamous for 15+ years now. Prior to this I had a very active multiple partner sex life.

When you make a committment with someone, you just don't know how you are going to deal with all the changes that it will bring, particularly the responsibility and loss of freedom that kids brings. It really is a blind leap of faith and you need a strong and sympathetic partner to help you.

I did hanker after the vairety and spice of my previous lifestyle and did mention this to my partner for whom it was and remains a definite no-no. We've always had a great sex life together and though I know she did just wonder how much she could take, this was more an inquisitiveness than a fundamental sexual need.

I on the other hand was just wanting the ego boost of being desired by many women and being able to perform with pretty good tackle.

I wonder how many women with endowed partners are into the swinging scene?

My experience would be that smaller men can presume that their partners need more cock to be really happy - but this assumption can be wrong. In conclusion I think that the lifestyle only works if you are sure that you have a fundamental sexual need that has to be filled with other people, with both partners in agreement. Otherwise you can be taking this decision for reasons that may endanger your ongoing relationship.

Of course multiple partners in a relationship could be your complete norm - so what do I know?

 

[b.c.]

I think that you have to figure out if you are willing to go along with his need, if you can't get comfortable with it, get out.

I have had the experience of being one of the guys that the husband picked out to watch fuck his wife, it was the most disconcerting sexual experience I've ever had.

ditto...some couples it works quite well for, while others, who thought it would make for a better relationship, found out that it didn't.

Contrary to what swingers would have u believe, there can still be a lot of uncertainty, dishonesty, jealousies, insecurities, the whole bit, even in a so-called "open" relationship. I would think that a couple would really have to have their act together (as individuals and as a couple) to survive that kind of emotional turmoil. Many have not. The primary question to ask yourself is, "Is this something I want to do?"

 

[jeanrose1978]

Contrary to what swingers would have u believe, there can still be a lot of uncertainty, dishonesty, jealousies, insecurities, the whole bit, even in a so-called "open" relationship. I would think that a couple would really have to have their act together (as individuals and as a couple) to survive that kind of emotional turmoil. Many have not. The primary question to ask yourself is, "Is this something I want to do?"

That is just the thing. Real people have real feelings, and sometimes we cannot control those feelings even when we try to. The couples that do look like they are into it hide their true feelings until they are in the car on the way home. Then they start questioning was she/he better, nicer looking, did you get more intimate,I wish you would do stuff like that to me too,etc. I know this happened with another couple we were with and they complained to us over the net.

 

[jdoe86]

Back when I used to run ads in swinger's mags and on swinger's web sites, I hooked up with a lot of couples for one night of me fucking the wife silly while the husband watched or took pics. I've also had a number of wives who wanted to watch me fuck their husbands while they watched. Most of these were one nighters and I've never seen or heard from them again. Of the couples where I meet up with them more than once, it was a regular thing that happened once or twice a month. Most of the husbands were of average size or smaller (thought one couple who I still meet up with the husband is endowed more than me).

 

[jeanrose1978]

Back when I used to run ads in swinger's mags and on swinger's web sites, I hooked up with a lot of couples for one night of me fucking the wife silly while the husband watched or took pics. I've also had a number of wives who wanted to watch me fuck their husbands while they watched. Most of these were one nighters and I've never seen or heard from them again. Of the couples where I meet up with them more than once, it was a regular thing that happened once or twice a month. Most of the husbands were of average size or smaller (thought one couple who I still meet up with the husband is endowed more than me).

That is pretty cool. If I were single and knew about stuff like this before I would have loved to be another couples sex toy!

 

[jeanrose1978]

I think that you have to figure out if you are willing to go along with his need, if you can't get comfortable with it, get out.

I have had the experience of being one of the guys that the husband picked out to watch fuck his wife, it was the most disconcerting sexual experience I've ever had.

It is not the act in itself that is the problem it is the people whom you do it with. Some can make it relaxing and enjoyable while others can make your skin crall like their sick in the head. I just think that its the intimacy in our relationship that is lacking. I don't know how many people feel a void within after having even the greatest of sex but what we want as children we tend to need as an adult.

 

[Lordpendragon]

It is not the act in itself that is the problem it is the people whom you do it with.

This premise should not be treated lightly even though it may be correct. Personally I think that there is a lot of grey, but not to the total exclusion of black and white. If you exclude the black and white you will most likely loose the ability to understand the grey. This I think causes much of the dumbed down easy throw away opinions that lack intellectual rigour.

 

[B_Spladle]

How many men enjoy watching their wives get screwed or have fantisized having a 2 man one women ratio, in a domestic invironment.

How many women would or would not enjoy this or have had this experience? How does it make you feel if you have?

It doesn't really help to edit the original post after people have already quoted it, stupid.

 

[Shelby]

It doesn't really help to edit the original post after people have already quoted it, stupid.

I disagree. It helps me laugh my ass off.

 

[Lex]

It doesn't really help to edit the original post after people have already quoted it, stupid.

Now Now... Play nice or I'll have to SPANK you!

 

[jeanrose1978]

It doesn't really help to edit the original post after people have already quoted it, stupid.

Well thats just the thing people can see what I origanally posted in some of the replies. Now instead of looking at it as a help topic people can post their ideas in a more direct fasion. It may seem stupid to you that is your right, but I would like to know how namy men and women enjoy this scene. I may not get the response that im looking for in this forum because it is always the less endowed males that want to include a very well endowed male into the act.

 

[Rob_E]

Why not just start a new thread?

 

[yngwife]

sorry to see so many skeptics, yes this is not a common fantasy but have heard about it and experienced it on more than one occasion it is awesome