my man has a big member and sometimes doesn't come for a really long time..

Discussion in 'Women's Issues' started by D_Dkjhgbk, Dec 21, 2010.

  1. D_Dkjhgbk

    D_Dkjhgbk New Member

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    we are both in our early twenties. sometimes he can come in 30 minutes (shortest record). longest he can go for 3 hours with a condom. but by then, i serioulsy am not feeling it anymore and its hard to accomodate his size when im not feeling it. and mentally its hard too.

    would u keep on having the sex session and finish it if you were me?

    or would u turn into "helping" him.. like giving him a HJ or something..

    if he begs to keep fucking when its been hours and i dont feel it anymore.. wat would u do?
     
  2. matrix_cock

    matrix_cock Member

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    i would by some cream to make him more sensitive
     
  3. Drifterwood

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    I'm a man but I would definitely stop when you cease to enjoy it. If he is any sort of decent guy, he won't want to be fucking you whilst you are not enjoying it.

    You need to be open about it with him and then try all the tricks of the trade to time your intercourse in line with how long you like it and getting him ready to come.
     
  4. mexdude

    mexdude New Member

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    Yea, the his focus should be on making u feel pleasure, not just a sleeve to put his thing in, he is being selfish in just seeking his own pleasure, talk to him, and tell him what u feel, and how do u like it
     
  5. B_subgirrl

    B_subgirrl New Member

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    Is he aware that you aren't enjoying it? When we feel we're sending them sledgehammer signals, sometimes they still haven't realised we're sending a signal at all.

    Have a chat to him and be honest, and you should be able to figure out something that works for you both.
     
  6. cwj88

    cwj88 New Member

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    From a man's point of view, cuming is all mental, if he takes that long then his mind is wondering or he has some fetish that he needs satisfied to cum.
     
  7. RawDog

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    The thing that sucks about being in perma-hard mode for me is that it ceases to be fun if she's not enjoying it as well. In a way, I do wish sometimes I can be insensitive and uncaring like your boyfriend. Maybe that's why the sex with my ex could go on for hours; I really didn't like her much as a person. Fucking her was closer to a competetive sport than anything else. It was a, "who could outfuck who" contest nearly every time. It was fun, but not very conducive to a long lasting healthy relationship.

    Anyway, I'm sure that's not what you wanted to hear, but you could turn the tables around and just express your sincere displeasure when it ceases to be fun. I know that's pretty simplistic, but when I first started getting into perma-hard mode with my wife, she had to hit me over the head with a brick and say, "Can you cum already, please?" Nowadays, just the slightest grimace gives me my cue.

    If he chooses not to listen to you, then the problem lies way beyond sex.
     
  8. marriedasian

    marriedasian Member

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    tell him what is going on and be sincere but honest about it. and if he's taking that long to cum then he's either an over-achiever (as far as trying to please you) or he has some sort of mental block that is required for him to cum. we all have our own kinks. find out what his is.
     
  9. D_Harry_Pitz

    D_Harry_Pitz New Member

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    Like most people said: talk about it.
     
  10. Lampwick

    Lampwick New Member

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    From a man's point of view, cumming is not all mental. Some of it is physiological and biochemical as well.

    And one thing that women should know about men - I've seen it reported more than once that if a guy doesn't come right away (and he's keeping his erection), it can be tougher for him to come the longer things go. The penis may just not be as sensitive after prolonged stimulation.

    OP, you may want to Google "anorgasmia" or "delayed ejaculation". An older term is "retarded ejaculation".
     
  11. Brock Rockington

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    I totally had a similar issue. He should use lube when he masturbates, if he doesn't already. That helped me. Both that and the fact that my current GF is on birth control and I dont have to cap it. Of course not using protection is not a decision to be made lightly.
     
  12. mwealex

    mwealex New Member

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    Thanks for making that point. It is really scary how little men actually know about their bodies.

    As most people have said, just talk to him about it, based in his response(s) you'll know what to do next.
     
  13. jtmony08

    jtmony08 Member

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    I don't believe the size of your BF is the real issue. You're not enjoying it and that is the real issue. You never mentioned whether you had discussed your lack of pleasure with your BF, so I'll assume you have. Verbally or non-verbally, you have. It's pretty hard not to catch on to a bored lover. And three hours is quite a long time to be bored. If you really care for each other, seek medical attention. Just like there are men out there who cum too fast, there are men who simply have a difficult time cumming. If he's taking PE meds (viagra and the likes) ask him to stop. Or come to an agreement of what's acceptable after you've reached your max. Communicate that to him and if he's worth being with, he'll understand.
     
  14. D_Ernest Porknine

    D_Ernest Porknine New Member

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    I've heard of cream to make a guy less sensitive but never a cream to make a guy more sensitive. If you know of such a cream I would be interested. As I've gotten older I have lose some sensitivity in my cock and I too can fuck for hours at end which also becomes frustrating for me as well as my partner because after awhile they do tend to become quite sore.
     
  15. blackguy1

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    focus on the head
     
  16. D_Etienne Neerdowell

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    The solution to all ails in an intimate relationship is to talk about things. As soon as you can't (or worse don't want to) communicate your fears, concerns, hopes etc. then it's time to split.
     
  17. helgaleena

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    Cheers, so many men think it's all about duration, like how long it takes to climax is some sort of graph chart. I have always been a hair-trigger sort of person, possibly because so much of the pleasure is in my own head :tongue: and a partner who can't come when I am all worn out from so many orgasms I want to go to sleep is OBVIOUSLY not enjoying himself or herself as much as they should.

    Your man is in a rut. He thinks 1)there's only one way to orgasm and 2)that your enjoyment has no weight in the equation. This has to change, for both your sakes. 'Focus on the head' is good advice both in stimulating his penis and your minds.
     
  18. Ron Wilson

    Ron Wilson Member

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    Yeah, unfortunately for me I am on this medication which makes it nearly impossible for me to reach orgasm. And I get tired and bored and it's just a terrible feeling when you realize that sex has become nearly pointless for yourself.
     
  19. mattflanders

    mattflanders Member

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    Here's a personal experience of mine: for me it's also very difficult to come from fucking and even when someone gives me a handjob or a blowjob it takes me a long time to orgasm.
    I've tried abstaining from masturbating to maybe make it all a bit more sensitive down there but it didn't really help.
    The thing was that I was focusing to much on coming that I couldn't come anymore.

    I would definitely talk to him about it, but it usually takes a while to figure out what's "wrong".

    And one more thing: he's (probably) not an insensitive asshole. It's incredibly frustrating and you don't want to hurt the other's feelings by not coming. My ex was usually really down when he couldn't get me to come, putting even more pressure on me...
     
  20. helgaleena

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    Definitely good advice. Relax and have fun! You don't have to come if you don't want to.
     
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