My Man Wants To Use A Strap On (Women Reponses Only Please)

[Drifterwood]

The first toy any man should buy is a gag. :crucified:

 

[petite]

Bloody hell Petite! You've finally shocked me!

No DP? What have you been doing with your life! Lol.

Being as you have no qualms in unitary penetration in either cavern of love, I think you'd take to it like a natural.

I'm still new to "unitary penetration in either cavern of love." :lmao:

Before July, we hadn't had what I would call "successful anal sex" because all the anal sex we had had or attempted before then was either painful and short, or uncomfortable but bearable, or weird feeling with no orgasm for me, or mostly weird feeling with just a little bit of bearable pain and a weak orgasm for me. It wasn't good for me, but I very badly wanted to be able to do that with TheBF, and I refused to give up. I can be stubborn like that about certain things.

Then finally in July, I first really enjoyed anal sex and had my first amazing anal orgasm, after I finally figured out how to prepare properly for anal sex and I figured out what one of the problems we were having was, and we learned about a really good penetration technique. Plus, after I prepare properly, he actually fits much better back there, which we both like. Now the orgasms really are so incredibly good that I suggest anal sex more often than he does.

So, it hasn't been that long really since we've started with the anal sex. It still feels like a "new" thing to me.

So yeah, we haven't tried DP yet. YET. :smile:

I look forward to trying it. :biggrin1:

 

[Drifterwood]

So Lauraneeds, have you reconciled your "love" for this man, your acceptnce of what is possible with him naturally and your "needs" for a good hard fucking from a big cock?

 

[greyman36]

Okay. Back to the original question: Toys are toys. And everyone is insecure about something or another. I don't think there's anything wrong with him asking you to try something new if it will help him feel better, plus it will probably provide you with some pleasure. On the other hand, you seem very uncomfortable with it. Since he was open to ask you about it a few times, you should answer him one way or the other.

I personally don't really see much difference between a "PE" and a dildo. The PE does leave him hands free tho

Well said. At last someone actually addressing the question. It must be important to him so if he is important to her she should give it a try. What's to lose ?. Could be win win and both will then be happy !!.

 

[B_lauaraneeds]

We have gone back and forth. There's more to sex in a loving relationship than his penis size! It's ridiculous to think he needs a strap on to please me. We have played with toys and that's fine.

This is a whole new can of worms in my eyes and he seems to not want to take no for an answer. I HAVE NO NEED FOR A GUY WITH A STRAP ON! He seems to not understand this.

Why do men get so damn locked in to their penis size any way. So what I had bigger before him. I'm sure he had a tighter women before me... Geeezzz

I tried to sit down and discuss why he feels he needs a strap on and he gets pissed. I'm starting to think he watch some porno or something. I could understand the dp thing where the guy sticks his REAL penis through and there's a second thing for the other hole. I really think his sexuality is taking a hit from his self confidence and size.

The sad part is, he's becoming a person I do not like right now...

As far as my "NEED", for me to know and well ......

 

[petite]

We have gone back and forth. There's more to sex in a loving relationship than his penis size! It's ridiculous to think he needs a strap on to please me. We have played with toys and that's fine.

This is a whole new can of worms in my eyes and he seems to not want to take no for an answer. I HAVE NO NEED FOR A GUY WITH A STRAP ON! He seems to not understand this.

Why do men get so damn locked in to their penis size any way. So what I had bigger before him. I'm sure he had a tighter women before me... Geeezzz

I tried to sit down and discuss why he feels he needs a strap on and he gets pissed. I'm starting to think he watch some porno or something. I could understand the dp thing where the guy sticks his REAL penis through and there's a second thing for the other hole. I really think his sexuality is taking a hit from his self confidence and size.

The sad part is, he's becoming a person I do not like right now...

As far as my "NEED", for me to know and well ......

I'm sorry that talking about it has gone so badly. Do you understand why he got angry? Has he explained what his interest in it is?

Maybe you can compromise and agree to explore using the DP strap-on instead since that is something that you are interested in?

 

[mmjr]

He wants to see how you would react to a larger size. This will either elleviate his fears of inadequecy or compensate for a wish he has had all his life. In any case this desire precedes him ever knowing you. In this case it is not a turn-on for you but rather for him. Cant you go along with his needs?

 

[paigexox]

Haven't read any of the above, but I would have an open discussion with him and voice your concerns/hear his rationale. From there you should be able to choose a path that you feel is most mutually beneficial.

 

[petite]

He wants to see how you would react to a larger size. This will either elleviate his fears of inadequecy or compensate for a wish he has had all his life. In any case this desire precedes him ever knowing you. In this case it is not a turn-on for you but rather for him. Cant you go along with his needs?

From my reading, it appears that she's afraid that this doesn't have to do with a turn-on, but with an inadequacy, and she's not personally interested in doing it because she considers it a turn-off.

Since you expressed that you think it has to do with both a turn-on and and inadequacy, I'm assuming that you're into SPH? What if he's not into SPH and he just feels inadequate? He could be one of those men who aren't turned on by feelings inadequate. You and the last man who have answered have both assumed that he thinks what you think, that feeling inadequate turns him on. It might not. We don't know what her guy is thinking. Trying the strap-on might make the situation worse with her guy instead of better, which is a concern that she's expressed, in addition to the fact that she's turned off by the idea.

If he just feels inadequate and it's not really about a turn-on, then she might be "meeting his needs" by stubbornly refusing to go along with the strap-on idea, if in the end it drives home the point that she isn't interested in larger penises and that reassures him that she really means what she says about preferring his cock over any toy. Besides, it's also the choice that remains true to her feelings. She really isn't interested in the strap-on, so maybe she should stand her ground about it.

We really don't know what the best way to get the best outcome will be, but finding out what's on her guy's mind would probably help make the best decision.

 

[bid6555]

Refer to my original post for the highlighted quote. You will lose respect and the relationship will be doomed. Be a little mean on this issue and direct. Say something like I don't want a strapon, never will I love your cock and drop this forever.

WR

We have gone back and forth. There's more to sex in a loving relationship than his penis size! It's ridiculous to think he needs a strap on to please me. We have played with toys and that's fine.

This is a whole new can of worms in my eyes and he seems to not want to take no for an answer. I HAVE NO NEED FOR A GUY WITH A STRAP ON! He seems to not understand this.

Why do men get so damn locked in to their penis size any way. So what I had bigger before him. I'm sure he had a tighter women before me... Geeezzz

I tried to sit down and discuss why he feels he needs a strap on and he gets pissed. I'm starting to think he watch some porno or something. I could understand the dp thing where the guy sticks his REAL penis through and there's a second thing for the other hole. I really think his sexuality is taking a hit from his self confidence and size.

The sad part is, he's becoming a person I do not like right now...

As far as my "NEED", for me to know and well ......

 

[Drifterwood]

I HAVE NO NEED FOR A GUY WITH A STRAP ON! He seems to not understand this......

Cant you go along with his needs?

Apparently not.

This isn't personal, Laura, I just don't like exclusive threads. To me they are asking for reinforcement rather than objectivity. It appears that you don't want to understand his needs, you feel that they should be subordinated to yours.

I agree that penis size obsession is boring and destructive, but you are dealing with it badly. Listen to Altered Ego.

 

[SpiceFromIndia]

I have been in your situation! My husband had a complex for a long time about his penis, even though it is average and quite serviceable. He had a couple of ex-girlfriends shred his confidence and tell him in anger that he had a little penis. Despite years of a satisfactory sex life, he made the same suggestion about using a sleeve when we were in a "toy" store. I wanted to argue and reassure him that his size was just fine for me but I decided to just go with the flow and agree, figuring it's just an experiment and we'll see what happens. We selected one, took it home with the rest of our goodies and tried it out that night. While it wasn't terrible, it wasn't all that great, either. I got very frustrated at how cumbersome it was to maneuver, I didn't like the feel of it, plus it wasn't going all that great in general so I just removed it myself and told him that I wanted to feel him, not the sleeve. We proceeded from there and he has never asked to use it again since. While we haven't thrown it out yet, it's been years since we used it that one time. The fact that we've forgotten to throw it out so many times is a testament to how we'd long forgotten that experiment until today. It sounds to me like your man really cares about you and just wants you to be happy. I can't give you advice on whether you should do it or not, I can only tell you my experience, take what you will from it. Good luck!

I liked this approach. Play a reverse psychology, let him buy it, let him use it and when he uses it, after sometime tell him that it is not feeling good ...because you want to feel him and its nothing like him.
I am sure, this will work....Do not bring big dick again ... or he might become cuckold . and that would be even worse (or may be not that depends on you)..lol
best of luck ...

 

[bid6555]

Maybe to OP wants the guy to be a man not a whinney basket case. May be a turn off.

WR

 

[D_Rosalind Mussell]

I liked this approach. Play a reverse psychology, let him buy it, let him use it and when he uses it, after sometime tell him that it is not feeling good ...because you want to feel him and its nothing like him.
I am sure, this will work....Do not bring big dick again ... or he might become cuckold . and that would be even worse (or may be not that depends on you)..lol
best of luck ...

I can understand why she finds it a turn-off, as I did too. It seems like the man is shouting "I'm inferior", which isn't sexy. However, if you think about it, a man's willingness to do this speaks volumes about his self-assurance. Most men probably couldn't handle the very thought of putting one on, nevermind suggesting it to their partner. I don't know her SO, but I have an immense amount of respect for him. He sounds selfless and concerned for her pleasure, both wonderful qualities to have in a SO.

It doesn't have to be reverse psychology, either. If she agrees to do it despite her protests he will see that she's doing it for him, not herself. Even if he doesn't see that right away he will see it. I did it because I love my husband and didn't want to make a big deal out of it.....it is just sex, after all. To my credit I've never been a faker in bed so he knew I was telling the truth when I said I didn't want it. I'm actually glad we did it now because we did that he was able to move on from those old feelings.

 

[SpiceFromIndia]

I can understand why she finds it a turn-off, as I did too. It seems like the man is shouting "I'm inferior", which isn't sexy. However, if you think about it, a man's willingness to do this speaks volumes about his self-assurance. Most men probably couldn't handle the very thought of putting one on, nevermind suggesting it to their partner. I don't know her SO, but I have an immense amount of respect for him. He sounds selfless and concerned for her pleasure, both wonderful qualities to have in a SO.

It doesn't have to be reverse psychology, either. If she agrees to do it despite her protests he will see that she's doing it for him, not herself. Even if he doesn't see that right away he will see it. I did it because I love my husband and didn't want to make a big deal out of it.....it is just sex, after all. To my credit I've never been a faker in bed so he knew I was telling the truth when I said I didn't want it. I'm actually glad we did it now because we did that he was able to move on from those old feelings.

Sometimes actions do the better job. All I am saying that this way she can get rid of his insecurities forever.

 

[bid6555]

Probably not her job to get rid of his insecurities. Not being mean just truthful.

WR

Sometimes actions do the better job. All I am saying that this way she can get rid of his insecurities forever.

 

[AlteredEgo]

Why should anyone have to do any sex act that they don't like?

 

[D_Hammond Happydipper]

If he has some fat on him, have him start losing weight. I read once that the less fat a man has the bigger his dick is. You could try that. I dont know how fit he is thou.

Still have a 1 inch fat pad.

I went from about 215 to 155 no change in fat pad size.
But I do look a hell of a lot better over all.

 

[D_Hammond Happydipper]

Yeah, thats understandable. But did you dick get bigger? I wanna know if its true.

no change in size
I am not worry about it anymore, as I shifted my attention towards gaining some muscle mass and getting ripped.

 

[B_subgirrl]

Yeah, thats understandable. But did you dick get bigger? I wanna know if its true.

The dick itself does not change size. It just APPEARS bigger because of the lower amount of fat at its base.