Hey, I've posted a couple of topics before on the subject long ago, but at the very least I just kind of feel like venting, not necessarily looking for great advice. Sorry if this is kind of long. So, my entire sex life, which began two years ago at 18 up until now has been plagued by pretty severe ED. Being a young man makes it all the more frustrating, humiliating, and shameful. I can't really remember how things were when I was 12 or anything, but from my very first sexual encounter, I couldn't get an erection. From that very first time I have been unable to completely clear my mind of that worry. That incessant thought in my head, no matter what else is going on, somewhere in my mind I'm focused on my dick and it's state of arousal. Now, normally this would be easy to diagnose as merely a psychological problem, but it's not that simple. All of these things I've noticed, keep in mind, where after I first attempted sexual activity and noticed my problem, before I didn't know the difference. First of all, I don't get morning erections, ever. Not at all. I wake up every morning almost completely flaccid, and I always have for as long as I can remember. I can get an erection through masturbation, but it takes quite a bit of manual stimulation, and then once it is achieved, it is not particularly hard and is quick to dissipate without constant stimulation. Once again, when I would just masturbate before I had any partners I truly didn't realize this wasn't normal, it's just what I knew. I also do not get random, spontaenous erections, sometimes it will swell a little throughout the course of the day, but not much. So my problem seems twofold. Yes, I do have a psychological problem with this, but I don't know how much that really matters, because I know there is a physical problem as well. I just don't even know where to begin in terms of bettering myself on this. I have somehow managed to have sexual intercouse with several girls in the past two years, and it's always an embarrasing experience of having to stop everything, masturbate myself to a half hard state and then trying to cram it in there, sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. I can safely say I have not had a sexual experience in my life without worrying about my dick, and it makes me sad and depressed and it definitely carries over into my general wellbeing. I know there is more to life than sex but it's tough to get over. I can't imagine not thinking about it, because for me, say I'm with a girl and I'm trying to relax and stay in the moment, not think about it, well, all of those thoughts still have that undercurrent with the focus on my erection. Like I'll try to focus on her, but it's still in my head because I know the main source of my thoughts are an attempt to not think about my dick, which in turn, just makes me think about my dick. I have been to doctors and have been told repeatedly that I "shouldn't have this problem" because of my age and that just makes me feel even shittier. I've also been told I am gay, which, no offense at all, I have nothing against people who are gay, but I am not. Some people try to reason that if you have a naked girl in front of you and they want to have sex, and you're a young healthy male and you can't get it up, then you're gay. Well, that's my life, and I love and am attracted to women, but I guess my dick isn't. Now, to clarify on my health. I am 20 years old, have no major illnesses or health conditions, have normal blood pressure, no diabetes, hormone or testosterone imbalance or anything of the sort. I do drink alcohol and smoke weed, but I've only been doing that for a year at most and I've had the problem much longer, it really hasn't affected things either way. Yeah I probably shouldn't do those things just to be on the safe side, but I feel it's largely irrelevant. I don't know, I'm just really messed up in the head when it comes to sex now and I feel weak for letting it get to me that bad. I envy people who have normal functioning sex lives but I guess it can always be worse and people are much worse off than me. I just wonder what it's like sometimes to function correctly, to be able to enjoy such a wonderful act with complete abandon and pleasure. As such, I don't see how I'll ever get over this issue.