- pirc,
Don't know if this the right place, and this will be rambling, but here goes.
I am insecure about my penis size. To flesh out this topic I will provide information about myself, my experiences and some thoughts.
1) I am 41 and 100% straight. I'm 5'10", of slim, athletic build, of average attractiveness. My penis measures exactly 6.5", measured along the top, bone-pressed. My girth is 4.75". In other words, just about exactly average. I sure don't feel that way, though. I have been in sports all my life and I suspect I'm a grower, as it seemed like the majority of the guys around me were bigger. Maybe they felt the same way about me. Perhaps being in sports I'm in a selected group and the guys I saw were bigger physically than average (this is definitely true) so maybe their penises are going to be among the bigger, compared to a random Joe off the street. Don't know.
2) I have had some bad penis experiences and some good ones. Bad ones first.
a) On two separate occasions I have been in a bar/pick-up situation and the girl decided to size me up. Both asked if I wanted a BJ, one in a bar in and one on top of a nightclub roof in Singapore (cool, huh?). Both went down, came up a minute later, and I closed the deal on neither. One reported that she "couldn't accommodate my penis size." You could construe that to mean I was too big, but that stretches the imagination. These two experiences have haunted me my whole life, even though they both happened when I about 20 years old.
b) On the good side, I have had a girl say "oooh, a big one!" when she first saw it, flaccid, and later in the relationship she randomly yelled to a passing motorist "do you want a big one?" Weird, I know, but it happened. She was experienced.
I have also had a one-night stand where the girl sized me up by feeling my crotch. I was semi hard so apparently she liked what she felt and I "closed the deal." When we had sex we were both clothed and she said "what do you want" and I leaned back and took my penis out and she started sucking, no reaction at all. During sex she did say "it feels so good" and when we were finished, I was standing above her and she looked at my penis, not hard but relaxed and hanging, and she said "damn!" I said "what?" as if I didn't understand but she just leaned up and gave it a kiss.
I'm now married and have been with same girl for around 15 years, but before that have never, to my knowledge, had any issues with size other than the two nightclub experiences noted above. At least none that any girl has ever reported to me.
So, given those experiences, does it make sense for me to be just completely depressed about penis size? In my real life, it simply doesn't matter. I'm happily married, and it's a non-issue for my wife, though she does appreciate the visual appearance of a big penis. But in my mind, I just feel terrible about what I have.
Here are some thoughts I have about the topic.
1) When women say penis size is not important in a relationship, I think they are missing a point that is important to me, and likely to a lot of other men. Look, we intuitively know that in a long-term relationship, and especially in a marriage, penis size is of little importance. Just like I couldn't imagine a guy divorcing or ending a long-term relationship with a woman over her breast size, I can't imagine a woman doing so over a penis size. It wouldn't get that far if it was truly an issue.
But we guys are interested not so much in the importance of penis size in a long-term relationship, but rather in a short-term relationship. Women reward men they like with sex and companionship. I was denied that on at least two occasions based solely on what seemed to be my penis size. That is extremely hurtful.
Further, in a bar/pick-up situation, a LTR is not at issue. What is at issue is someone's acceptance of your body for the physical pleasure of a one-night stand. In that situation, is penis size important? That is the question most men, IMO, have. On that score it seems to me, unfortunately, that penis size is definitely important.
2) When women say that in a LTR that a large penis size is nice, but not necessary, I don't believe they understand that is very hurtful to hear. To me that translates as, you'll never satisfy me completely, because a guy with all of your other attributes but a larger penis would make me happier. And there is not a damn thing I can do about that. I want to be the best I can for my wife, and not having this as an option is very frustrating.
3) Guys, like women, like to be remembered. While an average penis might be completly sufficient (and what terribly faint praise that is!), it's the big(gest) ones that a woman will remember. So that contributes to me feeling downright terrible about my penis size.
I think the above point is related to how competitive a guy is. Some guys may not care at all, and just want to have a fling just to have it, and may get little out of it other than their own physical pleasure. I kind of want to make an impression; I can do as much as I can with what I have, but even if I'm fantastic in bed, she'll remember the whopper, even if he is lame in bed. It just sucks.
4) I have a feeling that penis size is going to be more important going forward, mostly because of access to information. In the very recent past most women didn't have much clue about what an average penis looked like, and would be much less likely to have seen a large penis, or had the ability to compare, even if she did. These days, instant access is available.
First, the vast majority of penises a girl is likely to encounter online are above average. Either they are penises from porn, or they are amateur guys proud of their junk. This is what girls see. Even if they understand this (some certainly won't) they may just decide that the bigger penises look better and prefer them. I know I would not want to be a single guy these days. Anecdotally I read somewhere where college campus psychologists are being inundated with men complaining of penis insecurities. Were I single and college-aged, I would be absolutely petrified of hooking up.
5) Which leads me to the thought that the average penis size numbers we see bandied about are hardly practical numbers in that the average penis size that women actually deal with (and see, via the internet) are certainly not average, in part because those men with large penises will likely get around more than those with small penises. I know this topic has been discussed here before, but I think it's fairly obvious this is the case. On average, the more confident guy, which is usually the guy that feels secure in his penis size, is going to "get" with more women. The very small guy is very unlikely to be known as a playboy. Some will argue this, though I see it as a pretty open-and-closed case. Word gets around, and larger men get the benefit of women pursuing them. Not all women do, but plenty do. This will skew the averages such that an average penis may not seem so to many women.
6) Added as an edit, and before reading any responses. I forgot an important point. Women often say that penis size is an important issue for men, but not for women, and I believe they are implying that we alone create this issue. I disagree with this. Would penis size be important among straight men if there were no women? Well, for my part, I couldn't care less about the size of a man's penis. I'm not gay, so whether a guy is packing or cursed, it doesn't matter in the slightest. However, if he is big and was my partner's last partner, then it's the biggest deal in the world! It's a terrible, nearly intolerable situation! But the involvement of a female is the only thing that caused that penis to become an issue. If I'm playing poker with him, or doing business with him, or playing basketball with him, I couldn't care less. It's just not important in the least. Introduce a female into the dynamic and it's a completely different story. Maybe my logic is unsound, but in my mind women are the whole reason for penis insecurities, at least among straight men. I'm interested in hearing thoughts on this line of reasoning.
If you've read this far, you'll realize this is quite an issue for me. Should it be? Probably not, but it is. It haunts me. Funnily enough, when I read about a guy that writes about having 5" or 4", in my mind I always think, "buck up, man, it's not a big deal, you'll find some girl that will love you," while at the same time I feel so sorry for myself fom coming in at nearly perfectly average size, and I have a loving wife of 15 years who couldn't give a flip either way. WTF is up with that?
The male ego is a funny, delicate thing. I wish it weren't true. Thanks for reading.
I am insecure about my penis size. To flesh out this topic I will provide information about myself, my experiences and some thoughts.
1) I am 41 and 100% straight. I'm 5'10", of slim, athletic build, of average attractiveness. My penis measures exactly 6.5", measured along the top, bone-pressed. My girth is 4.75". In other words, just about exactly average. I sure don't feel that way, though. I have been in sports all my life and I suspect I'm a grower, as it seemed like the majority of the guys around me were bigger. Maybe they felt the same way about me. Perhaps being in sports I'm in a selected group and the guys I saw were bigger physically than average (this is definitely true) so maybe their penises are going to be among the bigger, compared to a random Joe off the street. Don't know.
2) I have had some bad penis experiences and some good ones. Bad ones first.
a) On two separate occasions I have been in a bar/pick-up situation and the girl decided to size me up. Both asked if I wanted a BJ, one in a bar in and one on top of a nightclub roof in Singapore (cool, huh?). Both went down, came up a minute later, and I closed the deal on neither. One reported that she "couldn't accommodate my penis size." You could construe that to mean I was too big, but that stretches the imagination. These two experiences have haunted me my whole life, even though they both happened when I about 20 years old.
b) On the good side, I have had a girl say "oooh, a big one!" when she first saw it, flaccid, and later in the relationship she randomly yelled to a passing motorist "do you want a big one?" Weird, I know, but it happened. She was experienced.
I have also had a one-night stand where the girl sized me up by feeling my crotch. I was semi hard so apparently she liked what she felt and I "closed the deal." When we had sex we were both clothed and she said "what do you want" and I leaned back and took my penis out and she started sucking, no reaction at all. During sex she did say "it feels so good" and when we were finished, I was standing above her and she looked at my penis, not hard but relaxed and hanging, and she said "damn!" I said "what?" as if I didn't understand but she just leaned up and gave it a kiss.
I'm now married and have been with same girl for around 15 years, but before that have never, to my knowledge, had any issues with size other than the two nightclub experiences noted above. At least none that any girl has ever reported to me.
So, given those experiences, does it make sense for me to be just completely depressed about penis size? In my real life, it simply doesn't matter. I'm happily married, and it's a non-issue for my wife, though she does appreciate the visual appearance of a big penis. But in my mind, I just feel terrible about what I have.
Here are some thoughts I have about the topic.
1) When women say penis size is not important in a relationship, I think they are missing a point that is important to me, and likely to a lot of other men. Look, we intuitively know that in a long-term relationship, and especially in a marriage, penis size is of little importance. Just like I couldn't imagine a guy divorcing or ending a long-term relationship with a woman over her breast size, I can't imagine a woman doing so over a penis size. It wouldn't get that far if it was truly an issue.
But we guys are interested not so much in the importance of penis size in a long-term relationship, but rather in a short-term relationship. Women reward men they like with sex and companionship. I was denied that on at least two occasions based solely on what seemed to be my penis size. That is extremely hurtful.
Further, in a bar/pick-up situation, a LTR is not at issue. What is at issue is someone's acceptance of your body for the physical pleasure of a one-night stand. In that situation, is penis size important? That is the question most men, IMO, have. On that score it seems to me, unfortunately, that penis size is definitely important.
2) When women say that in a LTR that a large penis size is nice, but not necessary, I don't believe they understand that is very hurtful to hear. To me that translates as, you'll never satisfy me completely, because a guy with all of your other attributes but a larger penis would make me happier. And there is not a damn thing I can do about that. I want to be the best I can for my wife, and not having this as an option is very frustrating.
3) Guys, like women, like to be remembered. While an average penis might be completly sufficient (and what terribly faint praise that is!), it's the big(gest) ones that a woman will remember. So that contributes to me feeling downright terrible about my penis size.
I think the above point is related to how competitive a guy is. Some guys may not care at all, and just want to have a fling just to have it, and may get little out of it other than their own physical pleasure. I kind of want to make an impression; I can do as much as I can with what I have, but even if I'm fantastic in bed, she'll remember the whopper, even if he is lame in bed. It just sucks.
4) I have a feeling that penis size is going to be more important going forward, mostly because of access to information. In the very recent past most women didn't have much clue about what an average penis looked like, and would be much less likely to have seen a large penis, or had the ability to compare, even if she did. These days, instant access is available.
First, the vast majority of penises a girl is likely to encounter online are above average. Either they are penises from porn, or they are amateur guys proud of their junk. This is what girls see. Even if they understand this (some certainly won't) they may just decide that the bigger penises look better and prefer them. I know I would not want to be a single guy these days. Anecdotally I read somewhere where college campus psychologists are being inundated with men complaining of penis insecurities. Were I single and college-aged, I would be absolutely petrified of hooking up.
5) Which leads me to the thought that the average penis size numbers we see bandied about are hardly practical numbers in that the average penis size that women actually deal with (and see, via the internet) are certainly not average, in part because those men with large penises will likely get around more than those with small penises. I know this topic has been discussed here before, but I think it's fairly obvious this is the case. On average, the more confident guy, which is usually the guy that feels secure in his penis size, is going to "get" with more women. The very small guy is very unlikely to be known as a playboy. Some will argue this, though I see it as a pretty open-and-closed case. Word gets around, and larger men get the benefit of women pursuing them. Not all women do, but plenty do. This will skew the averages such that an average penis may not seem so to many women.
6) Added as an edit, and before reading any responses. I forgot an important point. Women often say that penis size is an important issue for men, but not for women, and I believe they are implying that we alone create this issue. I disagree with this. Would penis size be important among straight men if there were no women? Well, for my part, I couldn't care less about the size of a man's penis. I'm not gay, so whether a guy is packing or cursed, it doesn't matter in the slightest. However, if he is big and was my partner's last partner, then it's the biggest deal in the world! It's a terrible, nearly intolerable situation! But the involvement of a female is the only thing that caused that penis to become an issue. If I'm playing poker with him, or doing business with him, or playing basketball with him, I couldn't care less. It's just not important in the least. Introduce a female into the dynamic and it's a completely different story. Maybe my logic is unsound, but in my mind women are the whole reason for penis insecurities, at least among straight men. I'm interested in hearing thoughts on this line of reasoning.
If you've read this far, you'll realize this is quite an issue for me. Should it be? Probably not, but it is. It haunts me. Funnily enough, when I read about a guy that writes about having 5" or 4", in my mind I always think, "buck up, man, it's not a big deal, you'll find some girl that will love you," while at the same time I feel so sorry for myself fom coming in at nearly perfectly average size, and I have a loving wife of 15 years who couldn't give a flip either way. WTF is up with that?
The male ego is a funny, delicate thing. I wish it weren't true. Thanks for reading.
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