My penis size experiences/thoughts

Discussion in 'Sex With a Large Penis' started by pirc, May 27, 2011.

  1. pirc

    pirc New Member

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    Don't know if this the right place, and this will be rambling, but here goes.

    I am insecure about my penis size. To flesh out this topic I will provide information about myself, my experiences and some thoughts.

    1) I am 41 and 100% straight. I'm 5'10", of slim, athletic build, of average attractiveness. My penis measures exactly 6.5", measured along the top, bone-pressed. My girth is 4.75". In other words, just about exactly average. I sure don't feel that way, though. I have been in sports all my life and I suspect I'm a grower, as it seemed like the majority of the guys around me were bigger. Maybe they felt the same way about me. Perhaps being in sports I'm in a selected group and the guys I saw were bigger physically than average (this is definitely true) so maybe their penises are going to be among the bigger, compared to a random Joe off the street. Don't know.

    2) I have had some bad penis experiences and some good ones. Bad ones first.

    a) On two separate occasions I have been in a bar/pick-up situation and the girl decided to size me up. Both asked if I wanted a BJ, one in a bar in and one on top of a nightclub roof in Singapore (cool, huh?). Both went down, came up a minute later, and I closed the deal on neither. One reported that she "couldn't accommodate my penis size." You could construe that to mean I was too big, but that stretches the imagination. These two experiences have haunted me my whole life, even though they both happened when I about 20 years old.

    b) On the good side, I have had a girl say "oooh, a big one!" when she first saw it, flaccid, and later in the relationship she randomly yelled to a passing motorist "do you want a big one?" Weird, I know, but it happened. She was experienced.

    I have also had a one-night stand where the girl sized me up by feeling my crotch. I was semi hard so apparently she liked what she felt and I "closed the deal." When we had sex we were both clothed and she said "what do you want" and I leaned back and took my penis out and she started sucking, no reaction at all. During sex she did say "it feels so good" and when we were finished, I was standing above her and she looked at my penis, not hard but relaxed and hanging, and she said "damn!" I said "what?" as if I didn't understand but she just leaned up and gave it a kiss.

    I'm now married and have been with same girl for around 15 years, but before that have never, to my knowledge, had any issues with size other than the two nightclub experiences noted above. At least none that any girl has ever reported to me.

    So, given those experiences, does it make sense for me to be just completely depressed about penis size? In my real life, it simply doesn't matter. I'm happily married, and it's a non-issue for my wife, though she does appreciate the visual appearance of a big penis. But in my mind, I just feel terrible about what I have.

    Here are some thoughts I have about the topic.

    1) When women say penis size is not important in a relationship, I think they are missing a point that is important to me, and likely to a lot of other men. Look, we intuitively know that in a long-term relationship, and especially in a marriage, penis size is of little importance. Just like I couldn't imagine a guy divorcing or ending a long-term relationship with a woman over her breast size, I can't imagine a woman doing so over a penis size. It wouldn't get that far if it was truly an issue.

    But we guys are interested not so much in the importance of penis size in a long-term relationship, but rather in a short-term relationship. Women reward men they like with sex and companionship. I was denied that on at least two occasions based solely on what seemed to be my penis size. That is extremely hurtful.

    Further, in a bar/pick-up situation, a LTR is not at issue. What is at issue is someone's acceptance of your body for the physical pleasure of a one-night stand. In that situation, is penis size important? That is the question most men, IMO, have. On that score it seems to me, unfortunately, that penis size is definitely important.

    2) When women say that in a LTR that a large penis size is nice, but not necessary, I don't believe they understand that is very hurtful to hear. To me that translates as, you'll never satisfy me completely, because a guy with all of your other attributes but a larger penis would make me happier. And there is not a damn thing I can do about that. I want to be the best I can for my wife, and not having this as an option is very frustrating.

    3) Guys, like women, like to be remembered. While an average penis might be completly sufficient (and what terribly faint praise that is!), it's the big(gest) ones that a woman will remember. So that contributes to me feeling downright terrible about my penis size.

    I think the above point is related to how competitive a guy is. Some guys may not care at all, and just want to have a fling just to have it, and may get little out of it other than their own physical pleasure. I kind of want to make an impression; I can do as much as I can with what I have, but even if I'm fantastic in bed, she'll remember the whopper, even if he is lame in bed. It just sucks.

    4) I have a feeling that penis size is going to be more important going forward, mostly because of access to information. In the very recent past most women didn't have much clue about what an average penis looked like, and would be much less likely to have seen a large penis, or had the ability to compare, even if she did. These days, instant access is available.

    First, the vast majority of penises a girl is likely to encounter online are above average. Either they are penises from porn, or they are amateur guys proud of their junk. This is what girls see. Even if they understand this (some certainly won't) they may just decide that the bigger penises look better and prefer them. I know I would not want to be a single guy these days. Anecdotally I read somewhere where college campus psychologists are being inundated with men complaining of penis insecurities. Were I single and college-aged, I would be absolutely petrified of hooking up.

    5) Which leads me to the thought that the average penis size numbers we see bandied about are hardly practical numbers in that the average penis size that women actually deal with (and see, via the internet) are certainly not average, in part because those men with large penises will likely get around more than those with small penises. I know this topic has been discussed here before, but I think it's fairly obvious this is the case. On average, the more confident guy, which is usually the guy that feels secure in his penis size, is going to "get" with more women. The very small guy is very unlikely to be known as a playboy. Some will argue this, though I see it as a pretty open-and-closed case. Word gets around, and larger men get the benefit of women pursuing them. Not all women do, but plenty do. This will skew the averages such that an average penis may not seem so to many women.

    6) Added as an edit, and before reading any responses. I forgot an important point. Women often say that penis size is an important issue for men, but not for women, and I believe they are implying that we alone create this issue. I disagree with this. Would penis size be important among straight men if there were no women? Well, for my part, I couldn't care less about the size of a man's penis. I'm not gay, so whether a guy is packing or cursed, it doesn't matter in the slightest. However, if he is big and was my partner's last partner, then it's the biggest deal in the world! It's a terrible, nearly intolerable situation! But the involvement of a female is the only thing that caused that penis to become an issue. If I'm playing poker with him, or doing business with him, or playing basketball with him, I couldn't care less. It's just not important in the least. Introduce a female into the dynamic and it's a completely different story. Maybe my logic is unsound, but in my mind women are the whole reason for penis insecurities, at least among straight men. I'm interested in hearing thoughts on this line of reasoning.

    If you've read this far, you'll realize this is quite an issue for me. Should it be? Probably not, but it is. It haunts me. Funnily enough, when I read about a guy that writes about having 5" or 4", in my mind I always think, "buck up, man, it's not a big deal, you'll find some girl that will love you," while at the same time I feel so sorry for myself fom coming in at nearly perfectly average size, and I have a loving wife of 15 years who couldn't give a flip either way. WTF is up with that?

    The male ego is a funny, delicate thing. I wish it weren't true. Thanks for reading.
     
    #1 pirc, May 27, 2011
    Last edited: May 27, 2011
  2. unzipped

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    It must be such a handicap in life being unhappy about one's dick size.... feel for you man... but what is --- is. You got a dick that gets hard... and a wife.... it's unfortunate you can't accept it..... and enjoy what you have....
    but you are correct about the male ego... it is very delicate...with a huge gnarly cock or not...
     
    #2 unzipped, May 27, 2011
    Last edited: May 27, 2011
  3. Catharsis

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    At least you're in a dedicated relationship! If it works, I don't really see what the issue is. However...

    I'm smaller than you are, though I could probably reach 6.5 inches on very good days. Needless to say, I sympathize with you on many of these issues as I sometimes feel the same way. Granted, I haven't had much experience with sex at all, so I didn't really create any opportunities to receive any comments from women, whether it is good or bad - and both of my (ex-)girlfriends made practically no comments on it and I never knew what to think of this, is it smaller than they were expecting and just didn't want to say anything?

    I don't know, maybe I'm just thinking too much into it, too.


    Sorry I couldn't be of much help. :/
     
    #3 Catharsis, May 27, 2011
    Last edited: May 27, 2011
  4. Ramsey

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    Maybe its just time for most men to just take a mass suicide pill.
     
  5. unzipped

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    Since there is no pill to get a 10 X 8 sized dick... just think, if there were... all the custom pants that would have to be made with three legs....haha
     
  6. phndoc

    phndoc Member

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    Forget the past and enjoy what you have. Wife happy, Husband happy. I think my dick is smaller then yours. No, complants after 30 yrs of marrage. I have always been happy with my dick....
     
  7. marriedasian

    marriedasian Member

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    there's more to life than cocks. you just need to get over it and move on with your already-good life.
     
  8. juby5126

    juby5126 New Member

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    I can honestly say that I've felt the exact same way, took me forever to get passed it. Most of it stemmed from having nothing to compare myself to except porn. Just look up the average dick size and you'll realize that you're a bit over average. That was the first step on my long road to getting over it
     
  9. askew

    askew New Member

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    You're married, does your wife complain about your the size of your dick? If not, don't worry about it. The past is the past. Look forward, not backwards.
     
  10. ed_brown

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    I've always gotten the compliment of having, "A nice sized cock". I didn't measure it until recently and I got 7"x 5". Not huge, but I work with it. Most girls really aren't concerned with that to be honest, unless you are really small which you are not. Be happy to have someone around and treat them right. That is really what matters
     
  11. jumbo747jet

    Staff Member Moderator Gold Member

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    pirc, thank you for a very good and interesting post.

    If there is one thing I have come to understand during the 10 or so years I have been coming to LPSG it is that what you are describing is very common indeed.

    How us guys feel about our dicks and the size of them isn't rational at all. While our intellects tell us one thing, the egos sometimes say otherwise.

    When we say that the "obsession" with penis size is a very male thing I think we mean that no woman could ever understand how and why us men think the way we do. We don't even understand it ourselves.

    You are very far from being alone with your thoughts. I think you will get a lot of responses here at LPSG and just imagine if us guys were able to talk as openly about our thoughts as we do here at LPSG - I think you'd find loads of soul mates.
     
  12. B_doogie888

    B_doogie888 New Member

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    If it makes you feel any better, I feel the exact same way as you do at this point in my life. While I haven't spoken to my current girlfriend about her past and don't plan to, I know that she has been with a handful of guys before me. I'm about 6 x 5.25, and the laws of statistics say that I am not the biggest she's had. To be honest, that kills me and does eat at me, and I try to forget all about it but it always sits in the back of my head. All I want to do is be her best, and it sucks that I am limited by a physical trait like penis size and can't give her that full feeling she potentially has had in the past and remembers.
     
  13. KTF40

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    Wow, virtually everything you wrote is right on. Yeah, it really sucks. Nothing you can do except just worry about it or try to find those few girls who you know for sure that your size is more than enough for them.
     
  14. lotsofquestions

    lotsofquestions New Member

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    wow, I cant agree more. I am 6.5 x 4.5 and it has always made me self conscious, and not have much self esteem or confidence. I never went out and partied because of this, instead I stayed at home watching porn with huge dicks that made me feel worse and worse about mine every time I watched it!!!

    I have had a girl half jokingly say it was small while she was on top grinding it... well it kinda is and it was only half hard but it really hurt me. she finally confirmed/said what I always though. it was horrible. I know I am not small though, and neither are you for that matter. it definitely makes my girlfriend cum, and she can barely deepthroat it all, so that makes me feel a bit better. there are TONS of guys out there smaller than you and I so I wouldnt worry about it too much. thats easier said than done though. I would know because I went though the same thing before and am still kind of going through it now.
     
  15. D_Maynard G Knads

    D_Maynard G Knads Account Disabled

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    I'm over 8" and I have this problem too. It's not always a logical fear, it's just something we have to work past. Having a wife to support you like we do is good and as long as she is happy no one else's opinion should really matter. Getting some support from this site helps too! We'll get over it one day!
     
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