My problem..

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Anonymous321: Hello all, firsttime-poster here.

I have a big problem. Before anyone asks I can say that I am straight and love the female body and everything about it, but my "sex-life" is horrible. When I masturbate I can hold my cum as long as I want to and release it whenever I feel I am the most horny.

Anyway, the problem is when I have "sex". My first time was with a good looking female. We were about to have sex and I had a huge errection. But when the actual sex began I quickly lost my errection and couldn't get it hard. I didn't know her very well and was nervous, but still I wanted her and was horny.

Anyway, I thought it was a debut-problem, but the same thing happened the second time, and third time..

I couldn't be with her after that, so I left her. I sort of blamed it on her.

However I got a new chance with an even more beautiful woman, and I thought "At least I'm gonna have sex!".. Oh man was I wrong. I got horny etcetera, even more than with the previous girl, got a big errection. But when I entered her vagina and started pumping, I quickly lost the hard-on. I didn't know this girl very well neither and was nervous, but HORNY..

Now, what the hell is wrong with me? Now I feel like I'm never gonna try again because it won't work.. any advice is welcome..

(Btw I am happy with my penis-size and I am 18 years old)

 

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7x6andchg: Anonymous321 -

(and there's a woman on this board who might have issue with that name...LOL)

I've been there before as well. In large part, in my own experience, it dealt with two things:

1. Performance anxiety. Not size, you'll notice I'm not saying that, but performance...it felt, to me, akin to stage fright. You're pumped, you're ready, you're horny...but once it gets down to it, it just doesn't work.

2. Sometimes for it to work, at least for me, I have to feel some level of intimacy towards the woman. You didn't say in your posts if these were girlfriends or one night stands, but I have a problem with one-night stands in this same manner....there's no real intimacy to it, IMHO.

I've had another problem too where I can go on and on and on and on and never ejaculate because of the second reason above. I have always thought that it is because I needed to feel more of an attraction (and on more than just a physical level) to a woman to enjoy sex. Not sure if that's true or if I'm just some sort of marathon man at times...

Anyway - not sure if this helped, but if nothing else you now know you're not alone. I've been there, and I'm sure other guys have too.

7x6&C

 

[Pecker]

[quote author=7by6etC link=board=health;num=1064966197;start=0#1 date=09/30/03 at 16:58:36]Anonymous321 - (and there's a woman on this board who might have issue with that name...LOL)[/quote]

Not really, Paul.

mous denotes a male anony.

Pecker

(Jello: Kool-Aid with a hardon.)

 

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AnonyMs: [quote author=7by6etC link=board=health;num=1064966197;start=0#1 date=09/30/03 at 16:58:36]Anonymous321 -

(and there's a woman on this board who might have issue with that name...LOL)[/quote]
As long as he doesn't start posting in purple, we should get along just fine.... LOL

 

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7x6andchg: Funny stuff - let's ask Nony, see what she thinks...

 

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Anonymous321: 7by6etC: Thanks for the info, helped alot.. They weren't girlfriends really, the first one I had known a week and the second one I had known for an hour.

I think that was you say is true.. I need to get to know them better so I can be comfortable when the situation comes?

Thanks.

 

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awellhungboi: First off, welcome to the board, Anonymous! I think it's great when someone jumps in with a difficult topic and is really open and honest. So good for you!

And I think Paul is right--if you establish emotional intimacy with someone then physical intimacy will follow. Even if you do have performance anxiety again, (and maybe you won't) someone you're close to would understand and support you.

I had performance anxiety my first time with a girl. We were naked, ready to go, and kissing etc. and I lost my erection and got so nervous it wouldn't come back. Fortunately my partner was very loving, understanding and supporting because she loved me. The next night we tried again and had great sex, and I haven't had the problem since. Although had she been dismissive or angry, I imagine it might have been very damaging. So, I guess what I'm trying to say is don't freak out, and maybe it will never happen again. If it continues to be a reoccuring problem consider speaking with a professional therapist or doctor.

 

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7x6andchg: Anonymous - Glad I could help.

Monstro's advice as to "if it continues" is right on, too...there could be the chance that it's a physiological problem, too...but from the sounds of your post, it's not.

I've had friends, over time, who have sort of been able to "deaden" their performance anxiety, too...me, I think I'm hard wired to want a little more out of a relationship (even a one-night stand) than a "piece of tail".

Which is probably why I haven't had it in a while and am still single at 30 years old....now that I think about it.  

7x6&C
(You can call me 7 - or Paul   )

 

[Pecker]

[quote author=7by6etC link=board=health;num=1064966197;start=0#7 date=10/01/03 at 15:50:34](You can call me 7 - or Paul   )[/quote]

But ya doesn't have to call me 7by6etC.

 

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7x6andchg: It's too long, Pecker ;D ...but the YABB people won't let me use the ampersand in my username...

7x6&C

 

[B_DoubleMeatWhopper]

[quote author=Pecker link=board=health;num=1064966197;start=0#8 date=10/01/03 at 15:54:12]

But ya doesn't have to call me 7by6etC.


[/quote]

"You can call me Ray, or you can call me Jay, or you can call me Johnny, or you can call me Sonny ..."

Right reference, Peckerdillo?

 

[Pecker]

That's the one, Javier!

Does anybody else recall hearing of this act before the 1970's? Internet searches don't go back beyond that but I'd swear I remember hearing Ray Jay Johnson on the radio in the 1950's.

Frumo "Pecker" Popemooner

("Hello. Incontinence Hotline. Please hold.")

 

[B_DoubleMeatWhopper]

Uh ... ¿Javier? My name is Jacinto!

From what I can find, Billy Seluga originated the Raymond J. Johnson, Jr., character in 1977 on The Redd Foxx Show. That was before my time, but I've seen the character.

The entire name spiel was, "Oh, ya doesn't has to call me Johnson. you can call me Ray, or you can call me Jay, or you can call me Johnny, or you can call me Sonny, or you can call me Ray Jay, or you can call me RJ, or you can call me RJJ, or you can call me RJJ, Jr. But ya doesn't has to call me Johnson."

 

[Pecker]

Please forgive me, Jacinto.

Brain Fart.

 

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gigantikok: Must have just confused you, DMW, with another certain "dude" who posts around here.