My Relationship Drama--Help!

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by italiancollegeboy, Aug 4, 2009.

  1. italiancollegeboy

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    hey everyone!

    I haven't really been active on here for a couple months haha, guess it was a little break. Anyways, I am happy to be back, but unfortunately I do have a couple concerns with the relationship I'm in.

    I know I am bi, if not gay, and have been seeing this gay guy for about two months. Things started out great, pretty fast paced and he really seemed interested. I was so happy. Now, he seems more distant, less interested, and pays me little attention. I'm not sure what to do. He said earlier that we needed a break, some time apart, which I assumed meant we were going to stop seeing each other completely. False, I guess he meant what he said, just less frequently. With that in mind, the time we spend together doesn't seem any better. He also told me of his past romances and sex experiences, and how he "gets bored" with guys after a short time, that he needs more excitement.

    So I am very confused, not sure what I should do. I still like him, despite all this, but I don't know if we should continue. I just don't want to be alone either. Someone please help with some advice, or comfort me because I'm feeling kinda sad.
     
  2. DaveyR

    DaveyR Retired Moderator
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    I think you answered the question yourself with the bit I highlighted. I think it's time for you to move on.
     
  3. B_mitchymo

    B_mitchymo New Member

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    I would say that if he is not as interested in you as much as you are in him then any relationship breakdown is going to leave you feeling the worst out of it.
    I reckon you have two good choices:- either cut your losses and tell him to take as much space as he likes permanently or treat each time you're with him like it is one last fling which might help you dampen your feelings towards him so if it does get to the last time then you might save yourself some hurt.

    Better still i suppose you could talk to him about what he wants and what you want and see if anything can be resolved.
     
  4. crescendo69

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    It sounds like he is afraid of a relationship, as are many (males, especially). Like Quagmire on "Family Guy", he excels in "instant intimacy" with each new relationship, only to later see it fade away in boredom and distractions (well, maybe a little longer-lasting than Quagmire).And he will repeat this pattern over and over. Let him go. Try not to hate him; he just has some growing to do. Move on to another and good luck.
     
  5. Brick7

    Brick7 Active Member

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    To quote the book title, "He's Just Not That Into You".
    There's someone else out there for you and you need to drop this disinterested guy to make room in your life for when the right guy (or gal) does come along.
     
  6. badgirl22

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    Going through something very similar and am wondering why people say, *relaxing it a bit* or *taking a break* *it's not over, just slowing it down a bit because it was too much too fast* Why not just come out and say...IT'S OVER!? I find it very cowardly and childish to not just tell the other person what the issues are and be done with it. They just make it easy for themselves and the other person then becomes miserable because they hold onto that crumb that's been tossed when there's really no hope at all.

    People need to give others more credit for being reasonable adults. Doesn't mean it will hurt less but it sure would cause a whole lot less anxiety and stress. Asses.
     
  7. hung

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    Or the comments from him may be his attempt to challenge you to even more excitment/more erotic events as you get together.

    Variety is the spice of life to quote an old adage.
     
  8. italiancollegeboy

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    thanks for all the comments, i appreciate the input. :)
     
  9. lickme69

    lickme69 New Member

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    He basically answered the question for you when he told you he gets bored after awhile. I would cut all ties with him now. The more you see him the more you want him and it will make it all harder in the long run. Tell him you do not want that kind of relationship and then move on. I know you have probably heard this before, but it is true, there is someone out there for you. The key here is you need to tell him your wants and needs and if he cannot fulfill that for you tell him you need to move on.
     
  10. helgaleena

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    this person is like some on this board who are not comfortable with making sex have meaning beyond just the good fuck. He does not want a relationship and it probably freaks him out that you, unlike stereotypical tomcat type of male, are interested in something steady.
     
  11. Viking_UK

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    I'd say you're better off moving on now. If you leave it much longer, chances are the situation will deteriorate and you'll both end up getting hurt even more. Suggest one final fuck before you finish, and then you can go out on a high.
     
  12. ljeffries

    ljeffries New Member

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    Scrape that gum off your shoe and move on.
     
  13. B_Nick4444

    B_Nick4444 New Member

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    dont't think/feel in terms of exclusivity with/of him, as he's not wired for that

    make him just one of a group of individuals that you can feel some intimacy with

    that's if you want to accept him for what he is, and want him as part of your life; or drop him entirely

    just don't make yourself miserable
     
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