My roommate

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by Imported, May 11, 2005.

  1. Imported

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jan 1, 2000
    Messages:
    56,713
    Likes Received:
    55
    meattunnelshatterer: Hey all,

    Okay this whole year I (21) moved into a dorm with this one guy (20) who I thought was pretty cute. I've always wanted something to happen but I dismissed it because I didn't know if he was gay. I had a hunch, because he's never had a gf and I asked him once if he was gay and he didn't give me a straight answer (no pun intended).

    Anyway, this is my last week with him, we are going our separate ways after this semester. So I've been trying desperately to sneak all the peeks I possibly could and such... I've probably been a little obvious in my staring at him changing. I wanted to know for sure if he was gay so I went on his computer and did a search to see if there was any gay porn. Sure enough I found a few things, and no straight porn. One of them was downloaded at 4 in the morning so I seriously think he woke up itching to beat off to other guys doin it...

    I've gotten hints before that he wants me to look because he is always showing me some rash or something new on his body. I think I've caught him looking at my crotch a few times while changing but not often. But he never has been naked around me. The tough part is despite knowing what I do now I doubt he would admit to being gay. He really prides himself in his image and says that someday he wants to go into politics (a good reason to stay in the closet and have NOBODY know ever). Also he is a part of my circle of friends and I can imagine if I make a move and he isn't comfortable it can spell disaster for him and I as well as with other people, possibly. I would love to just mess around a little in our last day or two. I'm pretty pent up with energy, here.

    Any suggestions, or anybody been in this position before or something similar? Thanks...
     
  2. KinkGuy

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Mar 19, 2004
    Messages:
    2,976
    Likes Received:
    6
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    southwest US
    If you're openly gay and he knows it and was ready for a few fun times and experiences with you, he would have opened up to you before now. He's hiding? Not ready? Hasn't accepted his sexuality? Hasn't decided? Men come to acceptance and personal adjustment at different times and ages. My advice? Leave it be and beat off a lot.
     
  3. B_RoysToy

    B_RoysToy New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 30, 2003
    Messages:
    7,558
    Likes Received:
    64
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    memphis, tennessee
    Could you arrange to have him just happen to catch you playing with your hardon?Do you use the same shower, if so with a hardon ask him to come hand you the shampoo or some item you (conveniently) forgot to get before getting into the shower. You might try asking him if he knows any good porno sites that you're horny and might jackoff if you knew where to find some. Have you tried being naked with him in the room? Get a bone while at your pc and see if he shows any interest. Let us know how this developes, meattunnelshatterer, and good luck.
     
  4. indianaman_04

    indianaman_04 New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 23, 2005
    Messages:
    96
    Likes Received:
    1
    I'm confused. If you are going seperate ways at the end of the semester than go for it, what do you have to lose? If he is in your close circle of friends, leave him alone! You could always do the, "I know you're straight BUT...." business and see what happens. Good luck!
     
  5. Imported

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jan 1, 2000
    Messages:
    56,713
    Likes Received:
    55
    meattunnelshatterer:


    That's thing... I'm not openly gay. And neither is he. I am somewhat open because I've told people, but he might've done the same. And we are both pretty unobvious so even though I've "found out" about him, he probably doesn't know, but may suspect, me.


    Now, I've thought about this, but having gone the whole semester without doing these things, it would be completely obvious. It may be effective... The most promising time was when we were looking at different porn pics together (but it was a joke because we were looking for ridiculous stuff), however we did still run across porn, gay and straight, and we were looking together. And I've been too much of a wimp to just come out waving my dong around. Something extreme would be the only thing to work, probably, though, so I'll have to look for any opportunity if I feel I can get away with it smoothly.


    <!--QuoteBegin-indianaman_04
    @May 11 2005, 11:54 PM
    I&#39;m confused.  If you are going seperate ways at the end of the semester than go for it, what do you have to lose?  If he is in your close circle of friends, leave him alone&#33;  You could always do the, "I know you&#39;re straight BUT...." business and see what happens.  Good luck&#33;
    [post=310193]Quoted post[/post]​
    [/quote]

    Well, we are going separate ways living-wise, which means the opportunities for something to happen would dwindle a little. But I&#39;d still see him and go to the same college, so it could really ruin things. And he is a friend, and I think it would be wise to not really pursue this hardcore. Maybe about all I can do is come out to him and see what his reaction is. I mean, knowing what I do, it shouldn&#39;t be bad, and it might get things started, if they are meant to start. And I&#39;ve thought of doing the "hey, I dont know what you think of this, but nobody has to know..." and if I ever did anything it would be that. So anyway, we will see, and I will update...

    Oh and as an update, he did come back and take a shower before he went off to work, and when he came out in his towel he made me look at this sunburn on his arm... Like I said, it happens all the time. Is this a hint, or am I reading too much into it?
     
  6. husky14620

    husky14620 New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 28, 2005
    Messages:
    182
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Rochester, Western NY
    Next time he shows you his sunburn, get in to take a close look, then "kiss it better..." At the same time, let your hand roam to the nearest g-spot, like the back of the knees, the back of the ears, the nape of the neck...

    You&#39;ll know what to do next by how he reacts.

    Husky
     
  7. Freddie53

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 19, 2004
    Messages:
    7,285
    Likes Received:
    60
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    The South, USA
    He may be wanting you to take his arm for a closer look and have the towel conveniently fall. He may not be brave enough to "let" it fall. So next time he shows you his "rash" on his arm, try to take the arm in to look at it and prehaps the towel will "come loose" and fall. You can help that towel fall if you plan it just right. If it falls pick it up for him. It will put you eye ball to eye ball with his naked dick. Take your time picking up the towel&#33;
     
  8. Pene_Negro_Grande

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Dec 27, 2004
    Messages:
    1,100
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Right Next To You
    He probably just having a problem being open about his sexuality...You should try to have a heart to heart to feel him out...All I can say is it might be tough because I know when I was in college I don&#39;t know how I would react if a roommate liked me even if I like that person...But you know a good movie you should rent and watch together is "I think I do"...Same type of situation about roommates and one who told a few friends he was gay and he had a huge crush on his roommate...Not to give the movie away but I think it will put ideas in your roommates head...
     
  9. Imported

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jan 1, 2000
    Messages:
    56,713
    Likes Received:
    55
    meattunnelshatterer: Well, the roommate time is over. But I do have an update...

    Or our last night, we were talking after we had gone to bed like we usually do. Anyway towards the end I saw my opportunity to tell him dwindling away. So I said "hey, you up still?" and he said "mhm" and I said "can you keep a secret?" "Mhm," he responded. "I&#39;m gay," I said... and waited... finally he goes "mhm." We talked a little about it and he jokingly asked if me and this one gay guy I knew were "together" and also he told me that it was up to me when I wanted to tell people and I shouldn&#39;t listen to other people pressuring me. But other than that it was short and sweet and the next day I heard nothing about it. He did confirm with a person I said was on the "safe list" but nothing with me. And nothing changed... the next day he was still out in his underwear talking to me. Or is that a sign?

    I dont know, and to tell you the truth, I&#39;m satisfied with how it ended. I would have been most satisfied if he had come out to me also, but I&#39;m sure there was a lot of shock with me coming out to him. I am very unassuming and a lot of people wouldn&#39;t have guessed... But I think that eventually he might talk to me if he talks to anybody. And I dont even know if I would want to be with him. The past few days were ones of excitement then a lot of pent up sexual energy that seems to just have dissipated. I feel a great emotional bond with him now and I feel like I am better friends with him. I almost wanted to confront him with his issues but I feel that would have scared him and angered him and he might deny it or try to distance himself from me. But I&#39;ll give him time. As was said, people have issues with coming out at different times, and now he probably knows I would be easy to talk to about it.

    Thanks for your help and comments though guys, and if anything ever happens I&#39;ll update again&#33;
     
  10. Freddie53

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 19, 2004
    Messages:
    7,285
    Likes Received:
    60
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    The South, USA
    Your chances are really better now. As long as you were room mates, there was no way to back off easily. Now, there is. So a taking a chance is easier. Do call him or see him soon. Now he knows you are gay. send a signal like I sure am horny or get an erection in your pants and don&#39;t hide it and get close without touching and stay close for a moment if nothing happens, back off and then get close a second time. If after that there is no response wait a few weeks or months.

    Remember this. He knows you are gay. If you send absolutelyl no signal at all, he will assume that you are not the kind of guy you are interested in. Just be sure that both of you have a back door to exit if he is not interested and your friendship then can be maintained.
     
  11. dolf250

    dolf250 New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 2, 2005
    Messages:
    784
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    The Great White North
    I’m glad it ended how It did for you. (Or rather that it didn’t end, but continues as a good relationship.) There is the possibility that the porn you found on his computer was just his being curious. To confront him with it would almost certainly send him into a defensive mode. I am not sure that I would be very aggressive perusing him. You may just mention that you find him attractive and see what his reaction is to that. I would think that if he feels the same he would say something, if not he will probably just write it off as a compliment. I don’t know him, but going on about how horny you are and walking around purposely getting right next to him with an erection may scare him off if he is not gay (on the other hand I suppose that if he is it could lead somewhere.) It just seems like it is far easier, less risky as well as more honest to just tell him that you find him attractive.

    His walking around in his underwear may have been him showing you that he is still comfortable with you and his way of saying that nothing has changed in your relationship.
     
  12. Imported

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jan 1, 2000
    Messages:
    56,713
    Likes Received:
    55
    meattunnelshatterer:
    I&#39;ve considered that possibility that he was just being curious (or that somebody else may have downloaded it), but with the probability, and all the things that I&#39;ve seen rolled into one, it makes sense that he is gay. I dont intend to pursue him aggressively, either. I think that&#39;s over. But I might tell him that I find him attractive if the chance arises. After all, and one may consider this somewhat telling, he has said in the past that he wouldn&#39;t blame anybody, guy or girl, for being attracted to him (and yes, he is also a bit egotistical&#33;) Although I appreciate everybody&#39;s comments I think for what I&#39;m comfortable with popping boners and touching him are over the top... making small moves can produce the same result with less risk, especially since he just found out about me. But I wouldn&#39;t discount those tactics because I&#39;m sure they are pretty effective for people that are just more adventurous than me... I&#39;m a wimp.

    And I agree with the walking around in the underwear. I was living with one of my friends who is undoubtedly straight and the morning after I told him he came into my room in his underwear like he always did and talked to me for a while. It doesn&#39;t have to mean anything I suppose. And its not like he was being any more open than he had already been.
     
  13. chrisj428

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jun 7, 2004
    Messages:
    735
    Albums:
    2
    Likes Received:
    27
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Vernon Hills, IL
    Verified:
    Photo
    Kink,
    Wish you&#39;d written this back in January before I came on to a very good friend of mine who was sending "mixed signals"...we haven&#39;t talked in over three months now. :cry:
    Chris
     
  14. Altairion

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Feb 1, 2005
    Messages:
    1,607
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    3
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Seattle, WA
    meat, he seems to be pretty grounded and ok with things, but just don&#39;t push things onto him. I found out my best friend was gay a few months back, and it was definitely a shift in thinking for me. I&#39;d known him for about two years, and had guessed since he was at least metrosexual, but I never really thought about it or brought it up.

    Anyway, it was strange actually hearing that he was gay. Probably what threw me the most was that he had a bf....and they&#39;d been together for nearly a year. In some ways it was an issue of trust that got to me, but oh well. I got over it, and we&#39;re still really good friends. I think I would be pushed back a bit if we roomed together and he suddenly was displaying erections in front of me, but thats just me personally.

    All I can say is, just push him a little bit here and there, and maybe have some simple chats about what made figure out you were gay or something. Ask him about girls, and what he says from that side.
     
  15. steve319

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Mar 28, 2005
    Messages:
    1,205
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    North Carolina
    I can totally see that. It&#39;s sad to think that he didn&#39;t trust you enough to tell you, isn&#39;t it? I know he was in a tough position and afraid of rejection (and, frankly, had a lot more to lose by risking telling you), but it still hurts to know that he didn&#39;t feel completely at ease with your knowing, doesn&#39;t it? Glad you got over that.

    Not necessarily just you. It&#39;s a respect thing. During my sophomore year in college one of my roommates (there were three of us in the suite) had no problem pulling out his erection and masturbating with us in the room, making conversation all the while. Or in front of our friends, either. (There was a lot more going on there with Chris than we&#39;ll touch on in this thread, though ;) ) I moved out after a semester of that. As open-minded and go-with-the-flow as I am, that was just awkward, uncomfortable, and rife with emotional issues.

    I think the guys here are offering wise counsel, meat. Take it slowly--you don&#39;t want to ruin the friendship.
     
  16. Pene_Negro_Grande

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Dec 27, 2004
    Messages:
    1,100
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Right Next To You
    Meat glad to hear it ended the way it did...You have done your part and that was the hard part...Now you just have to sit back and wait...Good luck...
     
Draft saved Draft deleted