My schmuck was too miniscule?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by SDStudent, Jun 13, 2011.

  1. SDStudent

    SDStudent New Member

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    Occurring before Memorial Day, I hooked up (supposedly) with a nice-looking, bear. It was not a very pleasant introduction as I had fallen from the escalator after being shoved by a bad mannered child 2 minutes after this fellow helped me. We simply talked and walked to the food court as I imagined his clothes unraveling beneath my eyes. He was clearly gay.

    We talked about insignificant facts about our lives (he was sharing information about his aunt Edith while I talked about the number of bristles attached to my toothbrush) until we reached the topic about sex. He claimed to be a bottom, surprising me to an extent. I tried to contain myself but I just had to.

    I asked which sex position was his favorite.

    He smiled, eyed me in a sexual gesture, and whispered "missionary" into my ears. My jeans tightened. I wanted to strip him off his clothes right there and then. I wanted to lay him down on the Subway counter so I could have a taste of his footlong and set his ass on the Panda Express rack to munch on his Orange Chicken.

    I breathed heavily and looked down to my crotch. Constricted as it was, the meat was still trying to fight the balls as I switched my glance to the Italian chain-restaurant behind him. Tension thickened the air. It was difficult to breathe. I looked at the face of my watch and then jumped at the sound of his voice.

    "So... How big is your dick?" he questioned. "6.2 inches, sir" I quickly responded.

    His amused face soon melted into pure dissatisfaction as he stood up in a menacing fit. He left his food on the table and walked away with an annoyed stare.

    Why did he act the way he did? Is my penis not long enough to prod his ass to ecstasy? Is there a button inside the anus that can only be reached by an 8 inch pole? Oh, woe is me.
     
    #1 SDStudent, Jun 13, 2011
    Last edited: Jun 13, 2011
  2. B_Hickboy

    B_Hickboy New Member

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    Dunno, dude. My brain got stuck at "munch on his Orange Chicken".

    Don't take the rejection personally. He sounds like he's not a whole lot of fun, and a bit mean-spirited.
     
  3. silvertriumph2

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    Well, I am not sure how long "it" is...you said "6'2...

    Now that could be (backwards) 2 feet 6 inches...:yikes:...which would be completely unusable for anything that I could think of.....or....if that isn't long enough for him, then I'm not sure
    what the heck he's looking for.....:frown1:

    Or, it could be 6.2 inches......but that's a good size...:yup: :confused22:

    So which is it?.....just wondering for size is of no importance as far as I am concerned.

    Me thinks you are much better off that he left.....:yup:
     
    #3 silvertriumph2, Jun 13, 2011
    Last edited: Jun 13, 2011
  4. D_Roland_D_Hay

    D_Roland_D_Hay Account Disabled

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    I couldn't get past the discussion on Aunt Edith and toothbrush bristles...you are probably better off without having to munch on his orange chicken. Aim for the chalupa...we all know what they say about Taco Bell. BTW, hasn't LPSG taught you anything? Every LPSGer knows that you add two inches to your dick size. Jeessshhh.
     
  5. SDStudent

    SDStudent New Member

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    @silvertriumph2: Oops, sorry about the size confusion. Yes it is 6.2 inches.

    @rico27: There wasn't a Taco Bell in the food court. And... umm I'm (sort of) new here. So would my size be 8.2 inches then?
     
    #5 SDStudent, Jun 13, 2011
    Last edited: Jun 13, 2011
  6. silvertriumph2

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    Glad it wasn't 2'6"...
    SDS...it's his loss...forget it and don't let it worry you......
     
  7. molotovmuffin

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    rico is teasing you...6.2 is a perfect size...and don't lie about it either. You will have to prove how big it is eventually...:tongue:
     
  8. SDStudent

    SDStudent New Member

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    Oh, I'll prove it eventually alright :p
     
  9. helgaleena

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    That was charmingly written. If you ever want a fictional romance published, call me at work. :wink:

    But if he was a truly big bear perhaps he has a truly big cave of wonders that is all stretched out. You should have been showing him your finger dexterity.
     
  10. BigInBellevue

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    Tell me, where do you get a ruler which shows measurements in tenths of inches? I always see them with eighths and 16ths. The metric system is much better, but the U.S. just doesn't want to make the plunge.

    Oh, I would say "fuck him."
     
  11. SDStudent

    SDStudent New Member

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    @helgaleena: Perhaps my middle finger was good enough for him.

    @BigInBellevue: It's too bad my brain zippered my mouth. Would have loved to see him respond to that outburst though xD
     
  12. jjsjr

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    Who cares!? Really.

    If the train doesn't stop at your station, it's not your train.

    No offense to your story, but stop feeling self-conscious about it and move on.
     
  13. AlphaMale

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    You should have just told him it was 8, and when it came down to actually having sex he probably wouldn't have even known the difference.

    He probably thought since you were saying 6, that you really meant 4 or something.
     
  14. SDStudent

    SDStudent New Member

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    I dunno, he seemed really disappointed.
     
  15. FuzzyKen

    FuzzyKen New Member

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    All I can say is that this fellow definitely can be classified as an idiot. There is one other thing.

    Do you actually remember including the word "sir" after your measurement?

    I am a total top and I personally would never ever do that to a person who had declared himself to be a bottom. To some bottoms using that statement in the way you did would tend to indicate another bottom, or a person with "bottom tendencies". The other thing I would endorse if you ever have a repeat when the numbers game comes up instead of a specific measurement substitute the word "average".

    Rejection is never easy to deal with, but I can tell you that this fellow just based on this casual meeting under odd circumstances would not have been an asset to your life and instead would have been a negative from the "get-go".

    You may not realiize it my friend, but you have just had the great experience of not having a great deal of drama added to your life!
     
  16. SDStudent

    SDStudent New Member

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    Nope, I just put it there to indicate that he is older than I am. Thank you for your wise words.
     
  17. RumperRoom

    RumperRoom New Member

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    Fuck that tool, As I have always said to everyone I have ever had the pleasure of sex with "I might not hit the bottom of the well, but I'll sure as hell bang the shit outta the sides trying"

    Besides he probably missed the best sex of his life with you. His loss my friend.
     
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