Bert_13
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- Sep 18, 2010
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I've been in a few relationships where I had the higher sex drive. People have different levels of sexual desire. It doesn't mean that one of you is abnormal. You may simply be incompatible in that way.
I am very sad to report that nothing ever changed in any of those relationships, and I tried a lot of different tactics. Nothing I did made those men desire sex more frequently. They were stuck at the level they were at, and so was I.
The only one I was in a long term relationship with, I think I could have lived with the differences in our sex drives if the other problems could have been worked out, because the good parts of that relationship were just so good and so satisfying. We regularly had sex 3x a week, and I think that would have been enough for me, but only because of how good the companionship aspect of our relationship was. When I broke up with him, it was over a serious issue unrelated to sex.
I'm not saying that your guy is like any of them, but just know that it's a possibility that you can't change how frequently he wants to have sex with you, or his sexual tastes, or anything else, and that doesn't make either of you abnormal, just different from one another.
Oh, I completely disagree with that! You can't presume that someone who desires sex a lot just needs "attention."
While "validation issues" might be some people's reason for desiring sex a lot, other people are just hornier than others. You can't ascribe a single motivation to a single type of behavior. That motivation is just one possible reason why someone might behave that way.
Look at me. The fact that birth control pills dampens or completely kills that desire in a lot of women like me just goes to show that women like me have a naturally higher level of desire and that has nothing to do with immature psychological issues like a need for "validation," it's just how our hormones affect us. When I went on birth control pills, it was so effective at killing my sex drive that I called it "chemical castration." Now if I just needed "validation" then I would have continued to seek sex as much as before despite my own lack of desire for sex, because birth control pills aren't a substitute for validation.
My wife and I had a great sex life until we got married. Now she's put on weight and her sex drive has plummeted. I'm ready to go several times a week but she's only into it once a month or so, sometimes less. So goddamn frustrating to jerk off in bed next to her while she's sleeping.
I had a much higher sex drive than my husband did. That lead to him feeling like I emasculated him. It was one of the major reasons the marriage failed.