my sexuality confusion

Discussion in 'Show Off' started by B_andork, Jul 22, 2007.

  1. B_andork

    B_andork New Member

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    Hi I'm in high school right now, just trying to find out more about myself. I consider myself straight and bicurious, because I want to commit in a straight relationship and I want to marry a woman, but however I think I have more sexual feelings towards guys, but I don't think I would ever be in a relationship with a guy, but I would hook up with them. Am I bisexual then?
     
  2. ganja4me

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    I would say whether or not it is more than a physical attraction it makes you bisexual if you are physically attracted to both males and females.
     
  3. UtahCock

    UtahCock New Member

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    Um, considering you're still in high school, I would say it is too soon to tell what you are exactly.

    I mean, why is it that you feel you would rather marry a woman? HOw strong are your feelings towards women? Why do you not feel like you would ever be in a relationship with a guy?

    Once you go to college, you will be more free to explore what is true for you. Maybe you are more turned on by women than you think. Maybe sex with guys wont be as hot as you think. Or maybe you'll realize that being in a relationship with a guy can be pretty cool.

    Nothing has to be settled right now.

    Just don't be a total asshole and cheat on your wife or gf with guys and justify it by thinking its not really cheating because its a guy (or some other lame ass justification). If youre going to marry someone have the balls to be true to them.
     
  4. B_andork

    B_andork New Member

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    thanks for ur advice. i think i'll just live my high school years open to any experience for now.
     
  5. ganja4me

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    Yeah I think the best way to find out if you're curious is to try it. If you like it and want to do it again consider yourself bi. If you don't like it and don't desire doing it again just mark it up as experimenting. Just make sure if you do have a girlfriend that she is cool with this.
     
  6. Matthew

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    Why worry about labels? Do what you want and enjoy, as long as nobody gets hurt.

    btw, hope you're 18 - you have to be to be here, man.
     
  7. hypolimnas

    hypolimnas Well-Known Member

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    Good plan. It was Leonardo, I think, who observed that between the penis and the brain is the heart. Be true to your heart, your penis and brain will guide you.

    Be compassionate, honest and caring to others and to yourself. It is ok to be thoughtful, but don't get so bogged down that you can't take advantage of what life offers you.
     
  8. arliss

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    ummmm...how old are you?
     
  9. wingnut84

    wingnut84 New Member

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    Why you always hatin', arliss?

    :tongue:
     
  10. dolfette

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    why d'you need a label?

    ogle who you ogle.
    do more if you want to do more.
    if you try it & don't dig it then nobody's makind you do it twice.
     
  11. Spunkybear

    Spunkybear New Member

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    This brings back a heap of fond... hot :) memories from when I was andork's age. The excitement of meeting guys for the first time. It can be tough working out these feelings at first but just surround yourself with trustworthy mates & talk about your experiences. Good Luck :)
     
  12. B_lrgeggs

    B_lrgeggs New Member

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    I was in the very same place you are. For me, this was a very big conflict. If I were you I would go into counceling to work these feelings
    and to know to thy ownself be true. As much as I think its an interesting
    opportunity to post questions on the web...its not the same as finding someone who is professionaly trained and will get to know your particular circumstances-your background and mores that you believe it. I hope this helps. And if you are below 18 you should not be on this website anyway.
    All the best to you.
     
  13. monsternmypant

    monsternmypant New Member

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    As a guy not much older than you, I'll suggest that the whole settle down with a woman and marry crap is an expectation you have embodied based on the people aorund you--family, society at-large. Having sex or "hooking-up" is rarely just a mechanical, animalistic act: there are feelings involved, regardless of how hard you shove them down. I thought sexing with guys was just about feeling good, too, until I met a guy who could be a good friend, as well as a hot fuck, and it evolved into much, much more. I suspect that the same could happen to you.

    My experience with others adopting the Bi label is that using it in the teens and 20s is a baby step towards being Gay, while those who occupy Kinsey's middle ground tend to embrace poly as hetero without acknowledging homosexual attraction, then jump to Bi space. ...... but what do I know, I've been to the Planet Vagina a few times just to see what all the fuss was about and to get off, not because I wanted to get with the whole package and make babies.
     
  14. dolfette

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    that line cracked me up :biggrin1:
     
  15. texas41-38

    texas41-38 Member

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    I tried girls.

    I tried boys.

    Boys were better.
     
  16. Principessa

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    hahaha okay, but I guess they aren't much better because you are 60%/40% Gay/Straight.:biggrin1:
     
  17. benderten2001

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    andork (and others in a similar situation deciding "which way to go")

    From personal experience, I urge extreme caution at your age....
    EXTREME caution.

    And no, I do NOT encourage "experimentation" with same sex behavior either. Here's why:

    It will only complicate and further confuse you at your young age.

    Take it from me.

    Years ago, I too, noticed other men. I admired their handsomeness, their secondary features (chest hair, beards, "happy trails", and yes, their bulges.) I thought for sure I was homosexual. Alot of it was my wishing to be just like them....desireable. Acceptable. "As good" and "as sexy" as they were. I was a late bloomer. And destined NOT to be drop dead handsome. I had quite a time accepting that fact emotionally.

    andork, you made one interesting comment and that was you didn't desire a relationship with another man. I didn't either and I still don't.

    I recommend asking yourself about how well you "blend in" and relate with the other men at this stage of your life. How IS your relationship with your father, your classmates? Do you feel you relate to and "belong" with them and around them socially? Or---(as was the case for me) do you feel ackward, unaccepted, NOT in touch with the same interests these other guys have? Boys must get along (emotionally / socially speaking here) first with other guys and THEN they progress (next ) to opposite sex relationships. That's the ideal norm. It doesn't happen that way for all of us. Nor is it often an easy transition either.

    For guys who have had difficulty bonding and being affirmed by other males; when that powerful hormone testrosterone kicks in, well--those already "mixed-up" feelings easily, without warning become sexual. But it all goes back to that deep down desire every one of us has to be accepted, admired, and ...loved by someone else.

    What I'm saying here is, a heterosexual man can admire another guy's handsomeness, his "equipment"...whatever, and THAT does NOT necessarily make him homosexual. And during the teenage years, it's not an appropriate time either, to seek answers by trying out same sex activity with another guy. DON'T rush into it. Think. Think. THINK! what's behind your emotions.

    It's tough sorting out all this emotional junk for today's teens. And, these kinds of internet opportunities like we have here don't make it any easier.
    There's an awful lot of free advice out there, well-meaning. But often, well meaning folks miss the mark in helping guide more logical approaches.
    Some of our feelings need interpretation and seeking out their root causes. Same sex attraction goes back deep into one's life. It can be scary to face that. And admit to it. It sure was for me.

    I'll have my critics here to what I've said. But, I've been there and I've had the counseling too, years later in life, to only begin to put together my own "puzzle".

    It's not a matter of my being in "homosexual denial" about myself either. It's instead a matter of final peace deep within that my own interest in other male's physiques IS explainable and should not ever be self-condeming.

    And it was never a matter either, of my EVER being homosexual !
    Those feelings? were a manifestation of dysfunctional familiy scenarios way beyond my own personal ability to control. -What a big relief figuring all THAT out!

    Sadly now, in thinking about it, I almost DID allow those scenarios though, to perhaps destroy my life! (Had I decided to act upon my impulses first without analyzing them, I may have put myself down the wrong path of what would fulfill me as a man.)

    Somehow I didn't. But I did spend a good number of years of my adult life NOT being sexually active and NOT feeling all that great about myself.

    And, why do I dare share this kind of personal stuff here?
    Only in the interest to help others avoid the same kinds of mind traps and pitfalls that I allowed into my own thinking and behavior.:wink:
     
  18. Matthew

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    Well, but not everyone thinks that being with a guy is a bad thing. For those that do, that's the problem in and of itself.
     
  19. Not_Punny

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    Whoa -- some people (earlier in this post) are a little bit bitter.

    There's nothing wrong with having a dream (family, wife, etc.). And there's nothing wrong with finding that dream with whatever gender you eventually settle upon.

    Good luck... and be kind.
     
  20. dolfette

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    dinosaurs.
     
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