My Size, My Ffiends, Their Girfriends, Our Awkwardness

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by HorrorHotel138, Jul 11, 2009.

  1. HorrorHotel138

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    I've really been noticing a lot of awkwardness and animosity between myself and some very dear friends (and new friends) of late.

    Quick background. I'm 30 years old, spent the first 29 in a small northeastern town. I am 6'6", 255lbs, 8X6ish, fairly handsome, very polite, professional, respectful, clean, people person, fun sense of humor, great friend. I recently moved to a New England city with my girlfriend. In my previous town, I was very active in the community, belonged to a great group of friends, came from a local, well known family. I lost my virginity when I was 13, and really had no trouble getting sex through middle and high school. When I was about 15 or so, I started getting comments on my size. Throughout high school, I had probably slept with 15 girls. After finding work and getting my own apartment, turning 21, going to bars, working in bars, I had probably slept with around 40-45 girls in this area. I never ever brag about my size to my buddies, or girls. I started to realize that in this small community, that girls talk, and word gets around quick. I had also heard from girls (many times during sex) that other guys (my friends!) would ask if it was true about MY size (being that the rumors were out there, or if my height/physical size meant I had a large penis). Seeing as, over the years my friends and I have shared the same partners, the girls would admit that, yes, they would tell my friends (sometimes during sex with them), and that sometimes it would turn them on in bed (this was fascinating to hear).

    Now, I'm 30. I moved 70 miles away, leaving many great, dear friends who I'll do anything for and vice versa back home. I have been hitting the gym very hard again for the last 3 months. I am in a great relationship (3 years) with a beautiful girl I want to spend the rest of my life with (and everyone knows this). I am meeting new people in this new city, and now bartending at a popular place.

    Now the problem. I have really started noticing now more than ever, that being around my good buddies back home (when I visit) can lead to some uncomfortable times when their girfriends are around. Most of my good pals back home have girlfriends, who have been friends with me, friends with my family, and friends with my girlfriend for a long time. When I head back for a weekend, the guys plan their time so we can all hang out, take in a game, have a few beers, joke around. At some point in the night, we meet up with their girls. Everyone in my circle has been cool with a friend giving their girl a nice hug and maybe a peck on the cheek. I am not a show off, I am not a flirt, I do not make any sexual jokes/suggetions, but when the girlfriend is around, my corresponding buddy starts acting very rude to me.

    These great friends of mine can turn from "hangin' out, partying, joking, laughing, hugging pals", to people who seem like they despise me; as soon as a girlfriend walks in the door. They will, (kind of joking, kind of not) jab me in the ribs, pull on my clothing, try to push me off balance, say rude things to me, try to make me look dumb, all while holding their girl close. A lot of times, if I am casually chatting with a friend's girlfriend, the corresponding friend will storm out of the room, and I notice weirdness between the couple for the rest of the night. Recently a friend's GF commented on my progress at the gym. "Wow! You're really buff! Are you getting taller, too?", Her BF/my good friend didn't talk to me the rest of the night. I am 100% certain that I have a much bigger penis than each of these friends in question. I am 100% certain that each one of them knows this too. I can't help but feel that they are always thinking about it when I'm around, and can't help but get nasty with me when their partners are there. Another recent example in my new city; last weekend we closed up the bar, I was invited to hang out after hours at a co-worker's apartment. I brought over plenty of beer and a high quality bag of pot. I meet everyone in the house, offer my weed, and hang out for some conversation. The guy who owns the house is the boyfriend of a cocktail waitress at the bar. I was just chatting away with her in the kitchen, and I could tell that he was raving mad (pacing around, scowling at her)!? Now he comes into the bar to "check up" on her, and she has stopped talking to me completely.

    Like I mentioned above. I am a very easy going, nice guy, with great pals. I don't use my size as leverage against any person or situation. But these happenings have really been bringing me down lately.
     
  2. HorrorHotel138

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    Bah.. Sorry for the misspelling in the title. Doh!
     
  3. D_Jared Padalicki

    D_Jared Padalicki Account Disabled

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    you have to talk with your friends man
     
  4. NCbear

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    Or get new friends.

    NCbear (who thinks "ffiends" wasn't really a misspelling :wink:)
     
  5. lookingforhung

    lookingforhung New Member

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    HorrorHotel

    I think this is always the case for social animals. If you know a lot of people, chances are you know nobody that well. You hang out with a lot of different people, the disadvantage of that is that there will be people who don't like you. The thing about people that are social animals though is that its more about the partying, the situations, then actual friendships. Some will hate you openly, many won't. This is why many people take the safe route and find 4-5 friends that they get to know over time and develop into a true friendship..or as close at that can get.

    What you described in terms of how they changed when the girls walked in says a lot..thats exactly the "party" culture. It's not so much about friendship as having a good time..so you do what needs to be done to have a good time. And unforunatley, do to the info getting out that you do have a huge dick..there is a lot of jealousy and animosity.

    You see, do to the fact that its that type of situation, I don't think it makes them anymore comfortable that you are in a commited relationship and are likley going to marry this girl. Cause in their head, when you party, everything is possible..and it is. That's what makes it fun.

    If you are ok with this, and you want to continue this type of life, I'd suggest you stop being so nice and joke and do what they do. If they can do it, you can do it.
     
  6. cyberczar

    cyberczar New Member

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    Your friends are quite the insecure lot aren't they?

    Sometimes in life we have to just grin and bear it.

    Here's an idea:

    Perhaps you can break the ice the next time and playfully rip on one of your friends for "eyeing" your girlfriend: "Hey man, she's taken."

    Remind them and assure them at the same time that you're not interested in their women. :)
     
  7. lookingforhung

    lookingforhung New Member

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    Naw, he should do the opposite. Cause he says he doesn't make the sexual jokes etc usually
     
  8. B_8BigDicked8

    B_8BigDicked8 New Member

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    It just sounds like you are bragging and making all of this stuff up. Perhaps you should stop smoking pot?
     
  9. hairybase

    hairybase Member

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    There are guys out there way bigger, so you have nothing to worry about, really
     
  10. MarkLondon

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    Oh, the twilight world of the heterosexual, lol! Sorry, man, please forgive the British irony. This situation sucks.

    Other than shinking your dick or turning gay, I don't see what you can do. Except maybe arrange for your girl to be around too when theirs are. It's their problem, not yours, really. It may be eased if they actually see you firmly attached to your own woman.
     
  11. actioncfc

    actioncfc Active Member

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    Perhaps the pot is making you paranoid! Just a thought.
     
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