My story...

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by JustAverage, Apr 3, 2006.

  1. JustAverage

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    Hey all, I just figured I'd give a more in depth story of my life than seemed warranted in the Introductions forum.

    I have no sexual experience whatsoever. Zero. I've never done more than make out with a girl, and even that's been very limited. I guess this is for a few reasons. One, I'm looking for love and just haven't found it. Two, I'm far from confident. Along with my day-to-day insecurities, I'm also worried about things in bed. Would I be good enough to satisfy my parter? Is my penis big enough to please a woman? I know these things aren't supposed to be a very big deal and that especially if it's with a girlfriend (which I've never had), she'll be understanding at first. But still, it worries me.

    And about that 1%: I'm willing to admit to myself when I think a guy is attractive, but it's mostly a jealousy issue. I wouldn't want to hook up with a guy. However, I have one friend whom I think I would if the opportunity presented itself. I won't deny being slightly curious. I'm also curious to know what he's packing, since he'd told me before he was big (in the context of a story). From what I've seen of a bulge, he's not lying. I think the fact that we're so close has caused my feeling about him. While I wouldn't actively pursue anything, I don't think I'd say no if he asked (which I know he never will, so it's a non-issue). I am confused as to why I've thought about it so much, though.

    Yeah, so I'm the loser in his early twenties who's still never been with a woman. Aside from that, though, are my concerns relatively normal? Or am I just a total freak?

    Thanks, and I'm sorry for rambling.
     
  2. novice_btm

    Staff Member Moderator Gold Member

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    I think that with the more reading that you do here, the more you'll realize that you are nothing of a freak. There are several really good threads, one active one right now, that discuss how sexuality isn't something with set rules. There's no perfect label, there's no right age, and there's nothing wrong with what you're experiencing. The biggest mistake that you could make would be to put unnecessary pressure on yourself, and hold yourself in comparison to others.

    As far as thinking so much about your friend goes... You may have some bisexual tendencies. Again, it's really not a big deal, and it's not that unusual.

    Enjoy the site, and drop a line if you want to chat more.

    Edited for spelling. Hey, you never know what thread Alex might read.
     
  3. Chuck64

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    Yeah. What he said... :smile:
     
  4. Matthew

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    JustAsking, there are several members of LPSG in their 20s, not to mention the rest of the world, who are virgins. Nothing at all wrong with that, especially to the degree that it's because the right opportunity hasn't come by for you yet. If you're determined to change that, you will obviously need a plan to meet/date more women.

    In terms of being able to satisfy a woman, technique comes with practice. If you're looking for a relationship and not just casual sex, you'll have time to get to know her and talk some about sex before you get into it. And technical skill will come with practice.

    Stop worrying about your penis size, it's fine. End of dicussion. But even if 1,000 LPSG members tell you that, it won't matter unless you believe it. Which brings up your point on confidence: Lack of confidence can in fact be a turn-off. Luckily, unlike your penis size and your amount of past experience, confidence is one thing that you do have the power to change.
     
  5. B_HungSpermBoy

    B_HungSpermBoy New Member

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    I had some sexual experiences with different girls while in high school but it wasn't until I met my present g/f that I really began to understand what "love making" is. It's a whole other world in terms of satisfaction and happiness. You don't need to rush love whoever it's with, bro. It happens when you're ready.
     
  6. ChuckRich

    ChuckRich New Member

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    Everybody says that but I have yet to figure out how it's done.
     
  7. Matthew

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    You know, you're the second person I've heard (read) that from today. I think we should start a separate thread.
     
  8. GoneA

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    you do know "JustAsking" is a completely different memeber than the one who initiated this thread.

    i'm JustSaying...
     
  9. Matthew

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    Good work! You've earned your girl scout badge for the day. But don't think you'll trick me into forgetting that it's well past your bedtime!
     
  10. GoneA

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    kthnxbye

    >>takes medal ... giggles and skips off carelessly ... pigtails flapping in the wind<<
     
  11. Matthew

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    >> returns to smoking crack and forgetting everyone's name <<
     
  12. D_alex8

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    :hijacked:

    Congratulations, you've just condensed Barbara Stanwyck's life story into 8 words.
     
  13. GuyanaPrince

    GuyanaPrince New Member

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    I get your frustration, Chewbacca - seriouslsy, I do.

    I didn't get a real piece [I mean a real honest-to-God piece of ass], until I was twenty-three, and that chick was one sneeze from the psycho ward - this girl was psychotic. Up until that point, I'd sucked tits and fingered a few girls. I'd even whipped it out once and begged a girl to just sit on it, and all it got was one lousy stroke (that I talked about for WEEKS). When I finally got to lay the pipe to a woman, it was more out of desperation, than anything else.

    Believe me, I understand.

    The only screw I'd had, prior to my encounter at twenty-three, happened around eleven or twelve, and it was so fast and sloppy, I don't even consider it a real, honest f*ck. I just totally had no idea what the hell I was doing,..but, I liked it enough to try it on four or five other girls. :biggrin1:

    In my opinion, anything you do before fifteen or sixteen doesn't really count anyway; so, I consider my first time to have taken place much later, as an adult. It's not such a bad thing.

    When you finally serve the sausage, JustAverage, I hope you do it for better reasons than I did.
     
  14. GoneA

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    she was rather pretty, too. this being my favorite, pic
     
  15. steve319

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    Try to relax, JustAverage. There's no perfect timetable for this stuff that fits for everyone, you know? I think that the more uptight you get about it, the worse you'll feel, though.

    I really love what Matthew said regarding confidence. And I totally agree with his sentiment about your waiting till the right person and the right situation for you both. I've often wondered about how many men regret a number of their sexual encounters because it ended up being too soon/wrong situation/wrong person/bad choice or even damaging in some way. For me, I have to feel good about the situation and know that it is the responsible and healthy choice (both emotionally and physically) for us both. And that means talking about it and being clear and open and up-front in every way rather than stumbling into it. At least that's what I've found works for me.

    As for the bicuriosity thing, yeah, I know how that goes too, and I think you'll find from the discussions here among even pretty much straight men that it is pretty normal and common. Being curious about it and acting on it are two separate things (and there's nothing WRONG with acting on it), but my advice would be to follow the same kinds of rules that work for you with other relationships--be sure it is right for you both and a healthy, responsible choice, one that you both fully embrace and are OK with. There's nothing quite like the awfulness of having sex with someone who then has big remorse, and that's a fact. Talk about a no-win situation.

    At any rate, I wish you all the best on your journey and I feel sure that you will find the support and encouragement you seek through the generous folk here at LPSG. :smile:
     
  16. Honey_Grrrl83

    Honey_Grrrl83 New Member

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    There is nothing to be ashamed about,I didn't lose my virginity until I was 22(two weeks before my birthday)and my boyfriend didn't lose his until he was 24(he is 29 now)I think it's a good idea to wait for the right person for you,it doesn't mean you have to wait until marriage either,just wait for the person who is right for you:smile:
     
  17. JustAverage

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    So... I sort of forgot about this thread. :redface: Anyway, thanks to all who replied. I guess I know that I'm not terribly abnormal. I don't doubt that I have some bisexual tendencies, but I still think it's more a product of my closeness to my best friend than anything else. I never had any real, truly close friendships when I was younger, and I guess I grew up thinking the only people you could get that close to were significant others. Maybe psychologically I have some residual ideas about what people who are close "should" do. I don't know, but it's not overly important. As for finding a woman, I guess I'll just get there eventually. I know you can't rush finding love. I think one of my main problems with it, though, is that when other things go wrong in my life (and what college student doesn't have their own drama?) I put that completely on the back burner while I try to fix everything else. I'm more concerned with holding onto what I have than finding what I've never had. Is that wrong?
     
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